Some folks like reading things without a computer involved. Some don' mind. Some like to keep hardcopies for various reasons. To each his own. I recommend tolerance for a diversity of views.
-Denise > From: [email protected] > Date: Fri, 11 Dec 2009 13:13:07 -0600 > To: [email protected] > CC: [email protected] > Subject: Re: [Texascavers] Please Become a Digital Online Member of the TSA > and Save My Sanity - DANGER! Rant Mode Fully On! LONG > > Mark, am sorry you had a bad day with it. I have enjoyed the digital > copy of the TC and have them backed up safely, knowing that I'll > always have them :) > > Cavers are usually very environment friendly, but I wonder why there > are so many hold outs with the hard copy edition? > > Paper, time, money are all wasted with the printed version. > > I'd understand if you are still on dial-up and don't want to view the > TC online, or if you don't have a computer (can't be reading this > otherwise). > > Charles > > On Fri, Dec 11, 2009 at 9:57 AM, <[email protected]> wrote: > > My day yesterday began calmly enough. > > I woke up from a Benadryl induced haze at around 4 AM and, mistakenly, > > thought it was Saturday and, for whatever reason, I turned off the alarm on > > my clock radio. > > > > I then proceeded to snooze soundly and woke up 2 hours later but, > > unfortunately, 45 minutes past the time I should have gotten up for work. > > > > After struggling to brush my teeth, take a shower, and drop the kids off at > > the pool (not necessarily in that order and definitely not at the same > > time), I dashed down the stairs to get my daily caffeine injection and hit > > the road. > > > > I was greeted in the kitchen by Buddy, our faux Man's Best Friend, and all > > of the calling cards he had left around the kitchen floor. (He's had > > digestive issues of late, due to my over-indulgence with him and giving him > > people food. I suspect the leftover Thanksgiving turkey I gave him earlier > > in the week. Is green stuff on turkey OK for consumption?). > > > > After cleaning up his disgusting mess and hating my life, I stumbled out > > the door. > > > > Ordinarily, I make a ritual of listening to the traffic reports over a > > pleasant breakfast. But, being in a rush, having no coffee, and having to > > tap dance around Buddy's little friends on the said linoleum floor, I > > neglected to pay attention. > > > > While barreling down LBJ and munching on the toast and warmed over coffee (I > > also forgot to set up the coffee machine for yesterday AM!), I ran into a > > solid traffic jam and, having missed my usual short cut turn off, sat in > > traffic for nearly an hour before reaching my place of employment. > > > > (I love my job, hate the commute, but was most certainly having a better day > > than the folks involved in the wreck ahead of me, them having needed an > > ambulance, and all). > > > > Finally reaching my desk, I ruminated on my day, thus far, and heaved a sigh > > of relief for having gotten here in one piece and pleased with FINALLY > > having mailed out the latest issue of The TEXAS CAVER. > > > > (I love our new printer and the quality work they do, but, speed is not one > > of their best attributes. I sent the files to them Nov. 19th, received HALF > > of the order December 4th and the other half on the 8th! Thanks USPS!) > > > > Thus begins my rant concerning the USPS and why, I implore you, to consider > > receiving your TC electronically... > > > > After a uneventful day of work, including a tortuous three hour meeting and > > feeling the life force being sucked out of my body and wishing I had a > > pistol, I headed for home and hearth. > > > > This would not be my last pistol-related thought on this day of Our Lord. > > > > I was greeted at the door by a turd-free Buddy, the digestively challenged > > dog, and a lovely pink note from my favorite public servant, the USPS. > > > > Having finally mailed out the last TC of the year at a price per newsletter > > of $3.05, plus $.88 in postage, the lovely Snail Mail folks wanted an > > additional $.51 per issue before they could be mailed out. > > > > Ah, the joy of insufficient postage! > > > > My goal of keeping the TC under $4 per issue was shattered! > > > > I swore at Buddy the Wonder Dog, cursed every government entity in > > existence, again questioned my life, grabbed the lil' ol' pink slip, > > thankfully left my pistol at home (I didn't feel like doing 20 to life at > > Huntsville for a TEXAS CAVER induced incident) and motored to that 5th level > > of Hell called "The Post Office Waiting Line at Christmas". > > > > Thankfully, the line wasn't THAT long and I only had to wait 20 minutes to > > be told I was in the wrong line and needed to go the parcel pick up line at > > the OTHER end of the building. > > > > Heart rate rising, I trudged down to that window, waited five minutes for > > the clerk to come to the window. (The half door was closed and I seriously > > wondered if anyone was actually behind Door #2) and she took my slip. > > > > I waited an additional 10 minutes and looked for the Most Wanted Posters (I > > always enjoyed looking at these as a kid and, as a currently hot-headed > > adult, was trying my best to not see my face joining them on this day!). > > > > The clerk finally came back and said she couldn't find the 149 newsletters > > and her manager would look for them unless, of course, they had already gone > > out. > > > > At this point, I would like to mention that insufficient postage has NEVER > > been an issue with the TC. > > > > I waited another five minutes and her boss came out and said that they had > > not gone out (dammit!) and I would have to go back to the original line, (Do > > Not Pass Go! and Do Not Collect $200), and pay for the additional postage > > there. > > > > Rolling my eyes skyward and reconsidering the wisdom of leaving my pistol at > > home, I wandered back to the now considerably longer line, as you'll recall > > being affectionately referenced as the 5th level of Hell called "The Post > > Office Waiting Line at Christmas". > > > > Having started this odyssey before 4 PM and the clock on this level of Hades > > now approaching 5 PM, I finally reached the ESL attendant. > > > > He had the tub of TC's behind him, along with a note that each TC needed > > $.51 in additional postage. This puzzled him, for some reason, and he had to > > spend the next several minutes conferring with his ESL manager. > > > > I could feel the daggers being shot from the eyes of the seething Snail Mail > > Hell prisoners behind me and knew, without a doubt, that they were wishing > > they hadn't left their pistols at home, as well! Whom they intended to use > > them on was an object of concern for me. > > > > The clerk finally came back and told me that I would need 3 17 cent stamps > > per newsletter and I would have to take them home, apply them, and bring > > them back. > > > > With my heart rate now reaching dangerous levels, I calmly stated, "Hang on, > > hoss! Y'all are doing this pleasant chore, not me!" > > > > He gave me a look reminiscent of Buddy the Digestively Challenged Dog and > > had to confer with his boss, once again. This boss stated that they probably > > wouldn't be going out until the next day and I thought, "No s***, Sherlock! > > They wouldn't be going out until the next day if I was doing them, either!" > > > > This completely befuddled the addled clerk and he had trouble calculating > > the postage for said TC's. > > > > He asked for the fourth time how many newsletters I had to mail ("149", I > > calmly stated while trying to restrain myself from wrapping my hands around > > his neck) and I explained to him that one would multiply 149 newsletters X > > $.51 postage (3X at $.17 per stamp), thus attaining a grand total of $75.99. > > > > Cheese and Rice Almighty, you would think I was explaining Quantum Physics > > to this puzzled Public Servant! > > > > After several gyrations, calculations, and scratching of his head and my > > bald one, the light bulb finally went off with my esteemed attendant. > > > > He counted out 447 17 cent stamps, placed them in the tub with YOUR TC, > > along with a note for the Graveyard Shift at your friendly local USPS > > querying, "Guess what y'all will be doing in this pleasant evening 14 days > > before the Birth of Our Lord?!". > > > > If the TC you do finally receive appears to have been run over repeatedly by > > a Brush Hog, you'll know whom to thank. > > > > Choking back an insane smirk and a hysterical giggle, I paid the bill while > > secretly dreading having to ask Darla for an additional check for postage. > > > > I thanked the clerk and lowered my head to avoid any of the bullets that > > would soon be flying towards me from the Snail Mail Hell prisoners that had > > observed this fiasco. > > > > After messing with the lovely folks at the USPS and attempting to pull my > > hair out, I shockingly discovered that I had been shaving my head for over 8 > > years and had no hair! > > > > I managed to avoid any Road Rage incidents on the way home and, having > > arrived there, proceeded to commemorate this blessed day with six Wild > > Turkey and Diet Cokes (one must watch their weight during the Holiday > > season), in quick succession, I might add, while Buddy the Digestively > > Distressed Dog looked on in disgust with fear and loathing in his canine > > eyes. > > > > So, what is the moral of this Dickensian Christmas Carol, you may ask? > > > > My Christmas wish from you is, for the love of whatever Supreme Being You > > Believe/Don't Believe In, to become a badge wearing member of the online > > digital TSA community! > > > > Go to http://www.cavetexas.org/members/ and sign up and enjoy the current > > and back issues! > > > > Please remember to select how you want your TC: mail or digital. (Please > > save my last shred of sanity and select the latter!) > > > > There now are a total of 17 issues of the Pulitzer worthy TEXAS CAVER > > available for your reading pleasure and this most certainly is better than > > any gift you have or will ever receive from one of your loved ones! > > > > Not a TSA member? No problem! > > > > We still would like for you to contemplate becoming a TSA member. Send me an > > email for your complimentary past issue of the TEXAS CAVER and see what > > you've been missing. > > > > Visit the TSA website at www.cavetexas.org and become a paid member and/or > > become an online member of the TSA. > > > > You can still opt to receive a hard copy TC, but will have to wait a couple > > of weeks, at the earliest, to receive your latest newsletter via snail mail. > > > > The Members Area continues to expand very well and we currently have grown > > to 92 members, with 48 opting to receive their TC digitally. > > > > This is a substantial savings to the TSA and has helped us manage to stay in > > the black this year and will keep your esteemed editor out of Huntsville! > > > > I have heard from more than one caver that they thoroughly enjoy reading > > their hard copy of the TC, but then proceed to throw it into the trash. > > > > While being environmentally insensitive (they could at least recycle by > > placing it in the bottom of the kitty box or on the bottom of a human), this > > makes them the PERFECT candidate for perusing the TC electronically. > > > > If this describes you, please make a New Years Resolution and consider > > becoming an online digital TSA community member! > > > > It'll make you feel better, keep me out of the news/incarceration, keep my > > heart rate low, prevent an incident at the USPS, and keep the pitch fork > > bearing/torch carrying seething Snail Mail Hell prisoners from storming my > > house! > > > > I appreciate you reading this epic tome and hope y'all have a blessed > > Christmas, Hanukkah, Solstice, and New Year. > > > > No wonder I enjoy caving. None of the above! > > > > Thanks! > > > > Mark Alman - TSA Chairman and TEXAS CAVER Editor > > (with a tongue-in-cheek tip of the helmet to Hunter S. Thompson and Kinky > > Friedman) > > > > --------------------------------------------------------------------- > Visit our website: http://texascavers.com > To unsubscribe, e-mail: [email protected] > For additional commands, e-mail: [email protected] > _________________________________________________________________ Hotmail: Trusted email with powerful SPAM protection. http://clk.atdmt.com/GBL/go/177141665/direct/01/
