!!







 

An article from Dawn Newspaper, Pakistan !!
 
 











 
Daddy? Yes, son.Are we going to have a war with India?Perhaps. Oh, goody. We 
will thrash them, right? Like we did in 1857!It wasn't in 1857, son.Oh, okay. 
But whom did we thrash in 1857?The British, son…And the Hindus too, 
right?Well…Did Quaid-i-Azam fight in that war along with Muhammad bin Qasim and 
Imran Khan?No, son. The Quaid and Imran were born much later and Muhammad bin 
Qasim died many years before.Then who ruled Pakistan in those days?There was no 
Pakistan in those days, son.But there was always a Pakistan! It has been there 
for 5,000 years! Who have you been talking to, son?No one. I've just been 
watching TV.It figures.Daddy, why are all these people against us Arabs?Arabs? 
But we aren't Arabs, son.Of course we are because our ancestors were Arabs!No, 
son. Our ancestors were of the subcontinental stock.Sub-what?Never mind.You 
seem to like wars, son.Yes. I like to watch them on TV.But real wars are fought 
outside the TV, son.Really? How is that possible? What sort of a war is that? 
Never mind.Daddy, you look worried.Of course, I am, you little warmongering 
punk!Daddy! Why are you scolding me?Because TV is talking rot and so are 
you!Daddy, are you supporting Hindus?No!Daddy, have you become a kafir? Keep 
quiet! No more TV for you! Go watch a movie on DVD or listen to a CD. Can't do 
that.But we have so many DVDs and CDs, son.Not any more.What do you mean?I 
burned them all.What?! I burned them all.I heard that! But why?They spread 
obscenity.Oh, God. Son, go do your homework. What happened to that science 
project you were working on?It's almost complete.Good boy. What are you 
making?A bomb.What?! A bomb.I heard that! But why?Because I am a true Muslim 
who hates America.But only last week you wanted to go to Disney Land.That's 
different..How come?Mickey Mouse is Muslim. No, he isn't.Is so. He converted 
when he heard azaan on the moon.On the moon? Yes. Because the earth is flat 
and…What??The earth is…I heard that! Daddy, do you want to see my science 
project, or not?Gosh, that bomb? But your science teacher will fail you.No, she 
wont.Really?Yes. I plan to blow her up as well. God, what is wrong with you? Go 
call your mother!She can't come.Why not?I've locked her in the kitchen.But what 
for?A woman's place is in the kitchen. I will not let her out until she covers 
herself up peoperly!But she's your mother!She's also a woman!So?So she should 
be hidden.Hidden from whom?The whole world and Tony.Tony?Yes, Tony.But Tony's a 
cat.Yes. But he's male.Son, have you gone mad? No. By the way, I've made sure 
Kitto starts covering up as well. Kitto?Yes, Kittto.But Kitto's a cat!Yes. But 
a female cat.But she'll suffocate.Oh, she's already dead.What?She's already 
dead.I heard that! But how?I buried her alive.You what?Yes. To avenge Tony's 
honour. But now I will behead Tony.But why?To save mom's honour!Oh, God!Don't 
say that. Always say Allah.What's the difference?Daddy, do you want to be 
beheaded too?No! Do you want to be stoned to death?No!Do you want to be 
flogged?No!Do you want to get your arms chopped off?No!Then stop asking silly 
questions. By the way, I won't call you daddy anymore.What will you call me 
then?Whatever that is Arabic for daddy.I don't know any Arabic, son.That's 
because you are a kafir.Who the heck are you to tell me who I am, you little 
fascist twit!What's a fascist?An irrational, violent, self-righteous mad 
man!W... aaaaaaa...Why are you crying?You scolded me.Okay, I'm sorry. You have 
to be tolerant and rational, son. Now be a good boy and go read a book instead 
of watching TV.I have no books.Of course, you do. I bought you so many books.I 
burned them.What?I burned them.But why?They were all in English.So?It's a 
non-Muslim language!But we are speaking English, aren't we? W... aaaaaaa…What 
now?Zionists made me forget my Arabic.But you never knew any Arabic, son.W... 
aaaa… yes, I did until you and mommy gave me the polio drops… aaaaa…Okay, tell 
me, can you do me a favour?Sure, dad. Can you blow up something for me?Oh, 
goody! Of course, dad. What should I blow? A CD shop, a hotel, a school...?No, 
no, something a lot more sinister.Mom?No, no…What then?The TV set!What?Blow the 
TV set.I heard that! But why?Just do it!I see. Dad?Yes.You're so 
unconstitutional! 
http://www.dawn..net/wps/wcm/connect/Dawn%20Content%20Library/dawn/in-paper-magazine/images/blow+daddy
 
Copyright © 2008 - Dawn Media Group 

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