*India and Pakistan recently realized that, if they continued political
tension, they would some day end up destroying each other. So they sat down
and decided to settle the whole dispute with a dog fight. The negotiators
agreed that each country would take five years to develop the best fighting
dog they could. The dog that won the fight would earn its country the right
to rule Kashmir. The losing side would have to lay down its arms.
The Pakistanis found the biggest, meanest Dobermans and Rottweilers in the
world. They bred them together and then crossed their offspring with the
meanest Siberian wolves. They selected only the biggest, strongest puppy
from each litter, killed all the other puppies and fed the lone dog all of
the milk. They used steroids and trainers in their quest for the perfect
killing machine, until, after the five years were up, they had a dog that
needed iron prison bars on his cage. Only the trainers could handle this
beast.
When the day of the big fight arrived, the Indians showed up with a strange
animal: It was a nine-foot-long Dachshund.
Everyone felt sorry for the Indians. No one else thought this weird animal
stood a chance against the growling beast in the Pakistani camp.
The bookies predicted that Pakistan would win in less than a minute. The
cages were opened. The dachshund waddled toward the centre of the ring. The
Pakistani dog leapt from his cage and charged the giant wiener-dog.. As he
got to within an inch of the Indian dog, the dachshund opened its jaws and
swallowed the Pakistani beast in one bite. There was nothing left but a
small bit of fur from the killer dog's tail.
The Pakistanis approached the Indians, shaking their heads in disbelief.
"We do not understand. Our top scientists and breeders worked for five years
with the meanest, biggest Dobermans and Rottweilers. They developed a
killing machine."
"Really?" the Indians replied. "We had our top plastic surgeons working for
five years to make an alligator look like a dachshund". *
