(Enjoy these puns, sent by a friend..* 2 of these may be off-colour for some of you*; he has done them in Blue; you may skip seeing/reading them, if you don't like!) ====== *PUNS*
"A South Dakota man was arrested after trying to rob a hotel with a butter knife. When you are using a weapon like a butter knife to commit a crime, there is just no margarine for error." -- Jerry Perisho .=========== = "The U.S.G..A. is making a highlight video of this year's U.S. Open. It will be titled "Swinging in the Rain." --Janice Hough ============ ======= Science Magazine Article Title: "Is There A Ring Of Debris Around Ur-anus?" ========= A man was talking to a woman in a bar. "I have a 12 inch dick," he boasted. "Well," she answered, "I find that hard to swallow." ========== Blondes don't make good cowgirls - they just can't keep their calves together. ========== "How are things going with you?" "So so. I left my job, because of illness and fatigue." "Sorry to hear that. What happened?" "My boss got sick and tired of me." ========== If a priest is called a white-collar worker, then a nun would be a creature of habit. ======== Did you hear about the Arab baker? Every morning at 6:00 a.m. he'd bow to the yeast. ========== What is the difference between mass and weight? Mass is where Catholics go on Sunday and weight is where sundaes go on Catholics. ========= "My sister is pregnant with a boy.. I'm going to be an uncle in nephew days," said Tom expectantly. ======== A Palestinian suspect was being grilled by Israeli police...... . "Honest, I'm not a suicide bomber," he said. "I didn't say I wanted to blow myself up so I could sleep with 72 virgins. All I said was I'm dying to get laid!" ======= Confucius Says, "He who stick head in oven get baked bean." ========== ......and lastly..... It isn't the cough that carries you off, It's the coffin they carry you off in. ------------ ---
