It turns out that there's a scientific and logical explanation for why
people (mostly men), spend so much time in bars and only get home in the
early hours of the morning.
 *
The reason for this odd behaviour is based on Einstein's famous Relativity
Theory.  It works like this: it is a well known fact that the more you
drink, the faster you move. After about 8 beers (or 4 double brandies &
coke, etc), you're moving at close to the speed of light, and this is where
Einstein enters the picture. According to his Relativity Theory, any body
moving at, or close to the speed of light, undergoes Time Dilation, i.e.
time for you in the bar passes slower than for an observer outside the pub.

Complicated calculations have shown that the bar becomes a type of time
machine:- for every half-hour spent inside the pub, something like two hours
pass outside the bar. A typical situation is: "OK guys, it's 8 O'clock, I'm
gonna surprise the family and get home early!!" However, the moment this
person steps outside the pub, the time travel effect is negated by negative
radiation from the environment, and he/she then goes: "WTF??!!?? - why is it
so quiet?? Holy sh!t!!! It's half past one!! WHAT HAPPENED???! !??".** **And
the answer, of course, is Time Dilation!!

I've tried to explain this to outside observers, but so far nobody (except
fellow time travellers) has been able or willing to understand the sound
scientific basis of this phenomenon.*


*Hope the Wives understand !!*

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