*CIGARETTE:* A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end and a fool at the other! * **MARRIAGE:* It's an agreement wherein a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master
*LECTURE:* An art of transmitting Information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of students without passing through the minds of either *CONFERENCE:* The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present *COMPROMISE:* The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece *TEARS:* The hydraulic force by which masculine will power is defeated by feminine water-power! * DICTIONARY:* A place where divorce comes before marriage *CONFERENCE ROOM:* A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on *ECSTASY:* A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before *CLASSIC:* A book which people praise, but never read * SMILE:* A curve that can set a lot of things straight! *OFFICE:* A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life *YAWN:* The only time when some married men ever get to open their mouth * ETC:* A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do * COMMITTEE:* Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together * EXPERIENCE:* The name men give to their Mistakes *ATOM BOMB:* An invention to bring an end to all inventions *PHILOSOPHER:* A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead * DIPLOMAT:* A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip *OPPORTUNIST:* A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river *OPTIMIST:* A person who while falling from EIFFEL TOWER says in midway "SEE I AM NOT INJURED YET!" *PESSIMIST:* A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in OPPORTUNITY *MISER:* A person who lives poor so that he can die RICH! *FATHER:* A banker provided by nature *CRIMINAL:* A guy no different from the other, unless he gets caught *BOSS:* Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early * POLITICIAN:* One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence Later * DOCTOR:* A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by his bills!
