Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to "Press Return
Key"
because of the flood of calls asking where the "Any" key is.
2. AST technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard to
control with the
dust cover on. The cover turned out to be the plastic bag the mouse was
packaged in.
3. Another Dell customer called to say he couldn't get his computer to fax
anything. After 40
minutes of troubleshooting, the technician discovered the man was trying to fax
a piece of
paper by holding it in front of the monitor screen and hitting the "Send" key.
4. Yet another Dell customer called to complain that his keyboard no longer
worked. He had
cleaned it by filling up his bathtub with soap and water and soaking the
keyboard for a day,
then removing all the keys and washing them individually.
5. A Dell technician received a call from a customer who was enraged because
his computer
had told him he was "Bad and an invalid." The tech explained that the
computer's "bad
command" and "invalid" responses shouldn't be taken personally.
6. A confused caller to IBM was having trouble printing documents. He told the
technician that
the computer had said it "couldn't find printer."
The user had also tried turning the computer screen to face the printer-but
that his computer
still couldn't "see" the printer.
7. An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech Support couldn't get her new
Dell Computer
to turn on. After ensuring the computer was plugged in, the technician asked
her what
happened when she pushed the power button. Her response, "I pushed and pushed
on this
foot pedal and nothing happened." The "foot pedal" turned out to be the
computer's
mouse...
8. Another customer called Compaq tech support to say her brand new computer
wouldn't
work. She said she unpacked the unit, plugged it in and sat there for 20
minutes waiting for
something to happen. When asked what happened when she pressed the power
switch, she
asked, "What power switch?"
9. Another IBM customer had trouble installing software and rang for support.
"I put in the
first disk, and that was OK. It said to put in the second disk, and had some
problems with
the disk. When it said to put in the third disk, I couldn't even fit it in..."
The user hadn't
realized that "Insert Disk 2" implied removing Disk 1 first.
10. A story from a Novell NetWare SysOp:
CALLER: "Hello, is this Tech Support?"
TECH: "Yes, it is. How may I help you?"
CALLER: "The cup holder on my PC is broken -and I am within my warranty period.
How do I
go about getting that fixed?"
TECH: "I'm sorry, but did you say a cup holder?"
CALLER: "Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer."
TECH: "Please excuse me. If I seem a bit stumped, it's because I am. Did you
receive this as
part of a promotional at a trade show? How did you get this cup holder? Does it
have any
trademark on it?"
CALLER: "It came with my computer. I don't know anything about a promotional.
It just has
'4X' on it." At this point, the Tech Rep had to mute the caller because he
couldn't stand it. He
was laughing too hard.The caller had been using the load drawer of the CD-ROM
drive as a
cup holder and it had snapped it off the drive.
11. A woman called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
The tech asked her if she was "running it under windows."
The woman responded, "No, my desk is next to the door. But that is a good point.
The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window and his printer is
working fine."
12. And last but not least:
TECH SUPPORT: "O.K. Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same
time. That
brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P" to
bring up the
Program Manager."
CUSTOMER: "I don't have a 'P'".
TECH SUPPORT: "On your keyboard, Bob."
CUSTOMER: "What do you mean?"
TECH SUPPORT: " 'P' on your keyboard, Bob."
CUSTOMER: "I'm not going to do that!"
