>From another group
*Rules For Flight * ** ** *Rules For Flight* There is a lot pilots have to take into account when hauling your ass across the sky... 1. If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger. If you pull the stick back, they get smaller. That is, unless you keep pulling the stick all the way back, then they get bigger again. 2. Flying isn't dangerous. Crashing is what's dangerous. 3. It's always better to be down here wishing you were up there than up there wishing you were down here. 4. The ONLY time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire. 5. The propeller is just a big fan in front of the plane used to keep the pilot cool. When it stops, you can actually watch the pilot start sweating. 6. When in doubt, hold on to your altitude. No one has ever collided with the sky. 7. A 'good' landing is one from which you can walk away. A 'great' landing is one after which they can use the plane again. 8. You know you've landed with the wheels up if it takes full power to taxi to the ramp. 9. The probability of survival is inversely proportional to the angle of arrival. Large angle of arrival, small probability of survival and vice versa. 10. Never let an aircraft take you somewhere your brain didn't get to five minutes earlier. 11. Stay out of clouds. The silver lining everyone keeps talking about might be another airplane going in the opposite direction. Reliable sources also report that mountains have been known to hide out in clouds. 12. Always try to keep the number of landings you make equal to the number of take offs you've made. 13. There are three simple rules for making a smooth landing. **Unfortunately no one knows what they are. 14. You start with a bag full of luck and an empty bag of experience. The trick is to fill the bag of experience before you empty the bag of luck. 15. If all you can see out of the window is ground that's going round and round and all you can hear is commotion coming from the passenger compartment, things are not at all as they should be. **16. In the ongoing battle between objects made of aluminum going hundreds of miles per hour and the ground going zero miles per hour, the ground has yet to lose. 17. It's always a good idea to keep the pointy end going forward as much as possible. 18. Keep looking around. There's always something you've missed. 19. Remember, gravity is not just a good idea. It's the law. 20. The four most useless things to a pilot are the altitude above you, runway behind you, gas back at the airport, and a tenth of a second ago. *Pilot`s eyesight * *An airline pilot with poor eyesight managed to pass his periodic vision exams by memorizing the eye charts beforehand. One year, though, his doctor used a new chart that the pilot had never before seen. The pilot proceeded to recite the old chart and the doctor realized that he`d been suckered all these years. Then the doctor could not contain his curiosity. "How is it that someone with your eyesight can manage to pilot a plane at all? I mean, how for example do you taxi the plane out to the runway?" "Well," said the pilot, "it`s really not very hard. All you have to do is follow the instructions of the ground controller over the radio. And besides, the landmarks have all become quite familiar to me over the years." "I can understand that," replied the doctor. "But what about the take- off?" "Again, a simple procedure. I just aim the plane down the runway, go to full throttle, pull back on the stick, and off we go!" "But once you`re aloft?" "Oh, everything`s fully automated these days. The flight computer knows our destination, and all I have to do is hit the auto-pilot and the plane pretty much flies itself." "But I still don`t see how you land!" "Oh, that`s the easiest part of all. All I do is use the airport`s radio beacon to get us on the proper glide path. Then I just throttle down and wait for the co-pilot to yell, `AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE !!!`, then I will pull the nose up, and the plane lands just fine!"* . ** __,_._,___ **** With best wishes S Chander
