Number 8 Life is sexually transmitted.
Number 7 Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die. Number 6 Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich. Number 5 Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks, months, maybe even years. Number 4 Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospitals, dying of nothing. Number 3 All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism. Number 2 In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal. And The Number 1 Thought Life is like a jar of Jalapeno peppers--what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow. - - and as someone recently said to me: "Don't worry about old age--it doesn't last that long." * *
