PHOTO BY AESCHLEAH DEMARTINO <http://www.flickr.com/photos/aeschleah/>
We all want a happy life, and we all know that having a *positive
attitude* feels
better than a negative one. But for some reason, we are all attracted to
and can be easily drawn to the negative side. How do we go about to
establish a more positive attitude as a daily habit?
Even for someone like me, who thinks about and writes about positivity on
an almost daily basis, having a *positive attitude* is not always easy.
I still sometimes see the world through a negative perspective, focusing on
the bad and ignoring the good — especially when things aren’t going the way
I had hoped. As I’ve been struggling with this lately, I’ve been reminding
myself that it really *is* possible to change my perspective.
About a year and a half ago, I decided I was going to make a change in my
life. I was going to start looking for the good, seeking the positive, and
striving to make every day a joyful experience.
This was something I would have never imagined myself doing, but it’s
something that has impacted my life every single day since then. I’ve had
to do a lot to get to where I am right now, and I still believe I have a
long way to go.
I’m not searching for any particular end point, however. All I want is
to be happy, to live a life that focuses more on the good than the bad
(though I do believe you need *both* to have a happy life).
On this road — this twisting, turning road to happiness — there have been
many ups and downs. There have been challenges. There have been
inspirations. There have been many amazing experiences that I never would
have had if I had not made the choice to live a positive and happy life.
Recently, as I struggle to be positive about certain challenging situations
in my life, I’ve been giving some serious thought to how I transformed my
outlook from negative-focused to a more positive-focused one. (Note: I
don’t always see the good. Like everyone, I have good days and bad days,
but, for the most part, there has been a BIG shift in my attitude over the
past year or so).
Though I have to admit that there are many, many factors involved in
my personal development — such as my therapist, the countless books and
blogs I read, creating my blog, and surrounding myself with happy,
supportive people — I can say that, at the most basic level, choosing to be
positive has helped me the most in terms of becoming the person I want to
be.
When I think back on my transformation now, I recognize that the following
five steps are the best ways to begin stumbling down that path to happiness
by establishing a habit of *positive attitude*.
*5 Steps to a Happy Life with Positive Attitude**Step 1: Believe Happiness
is a Choice*
For me, this was a hard one at first. I thought that people were either
unhappy or happy (and I was one of the unhappy ones). I used to blame this
on all kinds of outside forces –- fate, experiences, parents, relationships
–- but never really stopped to think that I could *choose* to be happy.
Sure, this isn’t always easy, but it is always, always an option. Teaching
myself to see that happiness is a choice has been one of the greatest
things I’ve ever done for myself.
Now when I find myself in a bad situation, I know that it’s up to me to
find the good, to be happy regardless of what’s happening around me. I am
no longer pointing fingers, placing blame. I realize that everything
happens how it happens and it’s up to me to choose how I want to feel about
it. I am in control of my happiness level and no one can take that away
from me.
*Step 2:** Rid Your Life of Negativity*
If you want to live a positive, joyful and happy life, you cannot –-
absolutely CANNOT -– be surrounded by negative people who are not
encouraging your happiness. When I was a pretty negative person, I tended
to attract other negative people.
When I decided to make the change to live a more positive life, I had to
rid my life of all of the negative people in it. This, as you can imagine,
wasn’t easy. Getting rid of people hurts -– even when you know they aren’t
good for you or your current lifestyle.
Not only did I have to get rid of the negative people, but I also had to
get rid of the negative things too. I had to stop doing certain things that
were causing negativity in my life. I had to take a step back and examine
which behaviors were good for me and which were not.
I learned to focus on the positive things I was doing and let go of the
negative ones. This process was not easy and to be honest, is still
ongoing, but I know this: having negativity in your life prevents you from
living a truly positive existence.
*Step 3:** Look For the Positive in Life*
There is the positive aspect in everything. In every person, in every
situation, there is something good. Most of the time it’s not all that
obvious. We have to look. And sometimes we have to look hard.
The old me just sat back and allowed things to happen by default. If I saw
negative, I went with that feeling. I didn’t want to look harder or think
too much about the good. I found it much, much easier to sit back and just
accept what I saw (which was usually the bad).
Now, when I’m faced with a difficult or challenging situation, I think to
myself, “*What is good about this?*” No matter how terrible the situation
might seem, I always can find something good if I take the time to think
about it.
Everything –- good and bad -– is a learning experience. So, at the very
least, you can learn from bad experiences. However, there’s usually even
more to it than that. If you really take the time to look, you will usually
find something good, something really positive, about every person or
situation.
*Step 4:** Reinforce Positivity in Yourself*
Once I started thinking more positively and adapted to a more positive
attitude, I realized I had to reinforce these thoughts and behaviors in
myself so they would stick. As with any sort of training, practice makes
perfect, and, yes, you can practice being positive.
The best and easiest way to do this is to be positive when it comes to who
you are. Tell yourself you’re awesome. Tell yourself you look good. Tell
yourself that you love and accept yourself completely. Tell yourself you
did an awesome job at work or raising your kids or whatever it is you do.
Be honest with yourself, but do your best to look for the good. And,
whatever you do, *don’t* focus on the negative. Nothing good can come of
telling yourself that your butt’s too big or your latest career goal wasn’t
met.
It’s okay to not like everything about yourself (yet), but don’t spend
energy dwelling on the negative. Remind yourself of the good in you. We all
have positive attributes and it’s up to you to remind yourself of them
every day.
*Step 5:** Share Happiness with Others*
Not only do you need to be positive with yourself for this new *positive
attitude* to really take effect, you also need to be positive with others.
You have to share your wealth of positivity with the world.
The best way I’ve found to do this is quite simple and basic: be nice. Be
nice to other people, no matter what. Tell someone he or she looks nice
today. Tell someone they did a great job on that presentation. Tell your
parents or children (or both!) how much you love them and how great they
are.
When someone is feeling down, do what you can to cheer him or her up. Send
flowers. Write notes. Don’t gossip. Be kind to all living things. All of
these things sound basic enough, but, for someone like me, they didn’t used
to come easily.
In the past, I didn’t wanted to see the good in myself and, therefore,
didn’t want to see it in others either. I used to be critical and
condescending. Now I strive to be encouraging and supportive. I try not
only to treat others, as I would like to be treated, but also to consider
how *they* would like to be treated.
People appreciate positivity and the more you are sharing it with others,
the more you are practicing it and reinforcing it in your own life.
*Parting Words on the Positive Attitude Habit*
When you start feeling like the idea of being a positive person is
daunting, tell yourself this: “If someone who really used to struggle with
a negative attitude, turned her life around with these five steps, then I
can too!”
If anyone had told me a few years ago that I would be writing an article
about developing a positive attitude and living a happy life, I would have
laughed right in their face. I would have said, “Why in the world would
someone want me to write about positivity?”
But here I am, writing this post, believing in these words, and knowing
that every single day I am getting closer and closer to living the happy
life I’ve secretly dreamed of living. If I can do it, you can do it.
Believe in yourself and remember the most important lesson of all… a
positive outlook is a choice. Choose to be positive. Choose to be happy.
Life is short.
We all want a happy life, and we all know that having a *positive
attitude* feels
better than a negative one. But for some reason, we are all attracted to
and can be easily drawn to the negative side. How do we go about to
establish a more positive attitude as a daily habit?
Even for someone like me, who thinks about and writes about positivity on
an almost daily basis, having a *positive attitude* is not always easy.
I still sometimes see the world through a negative perspective, focusing on
the bad and ignoring the good — especially when things aren’t going the way
I had hoped. As I’ve been struggling with this lately, I’ve been reminding
myself that it really *is* possible to change my perspective.
About a year and a half ago, I decided I was going to make a change in my
life. I was going to start looking for the good, seeking the positive, and
striving to make every day a joyful experience.
This was something I would have never imagined myself doing, but it’s
something that has impacted my life every single day since then. I’ve had
to do a lot to get to where I am right now, and I still believe I have a
long way to go.
I’m not searching for any particular end point, however. All I want is
to be happy, to live a life that focuses more on the good than the bad
(though I do believe you need *both* to have a happy life).
On this road — this twisting, turning road to happiness — there have been
many ups and downs. There have been challenges. There have been
inspirations. There have been many amazing experiences that I never would
have had if I had not made the choice to live a positive and happy life.
Recently, as I struggle to be positive about certain challenging situations
in my life, I’ve been giving some serious thought to how I transformed my
outlook from negative-focused to a more positive-focused one. (Note: I
don’t always see the good. Like everyone, I have good days and bad days,
but, for the most part, there has been a BIG shift in my attitude over the
past year or so).
Though I have to admit that there are many, many factors involved in
my personal development — such as my therapist, the countless books and
blogs I read, creating my blog, and surrounding myself with happy,
supportive people — I can say that, at the most basic level, choosing to be
positive has helped me the most in terms of becoming the person I want to
be.
When I think back on my transformation now, I recognize that the following
five steps are the best ways to begin stumbling down that path to happiness
by establishing a habit of *positive attitude*.
*5 Steps to a Happy Life with Positive Attitude**Step 1: Believe Happiness
is a Choice*
For me, this was a hard one at first. I thought that people were either
unhappy or happy (and I was one of the unhappy ones). I used to blame this
on all kinds of outside forces –- fate, experiences, parents, relationships
–- but never really stopped to think that I could *choose* to be happy.
Sure, this isn’t always easy, but it is always, always an option. Teaching
myself to see that happiness is a choice has been one of the greatest
things I’ve ever done for myself.
Now when I find myself in a bad situation, I know that it’s up to me to
find the good, to be happy regardless of what’s happening around me. I am
no longer pointing fingers, placing blame. I realize that everything
happens how it happens and it’s up to me to choose how I want to feel about
it. I am in control of my happiness level and no one can take that away
from me.
*Step 2:** Rid Your Life of Negativity*
If you want to live a positive, joyful and happy life, you cannot –-
absolutely CANNOT -– be surrounded by negative people who are not
encouraging your happiness. When I was a pretty negative person, I tended
to attract other negative people.
When I decided to make the change to live a more positive life, I had to
rid my life of all of the negative people in it. This, as you can imagine,
wasn’t easy. Getting rid of people hurts -– even when you know they aren’t
good for you or your current lifestyle.
Not only did I have to get rid of the negative people, but I also had to
get rid of the negative things too. I had to stop doing certain things that
were causing negativity in my life. I had to take a step back and examine
which behaviors were good for me and which were not.
I learned to focus on the positive things I was doing and let go of the
negative ones. This process was not easy and to be honest, is still
ongoing, but I know this: having negativity in your life prevents you from
living a truly positive existence.
*Step 3:** Look For the Positive in Life*
There is the positive aspect in everything. In every person, in every
situation, there is something good. Most of the time it’s not all that
obvious. We have to look. And sometimes we have to look hard.
The old me just sat back and allowed things to happen by default. If I saw
negative, I went with that feeling. I didn’t want to look harder or think
too much about the good. I found it much, much easier to sit back and just
accept what I saw (which was usually the bad).
Now, when I’m faced with a difficult or challenging situation, I think to
myself, “*What is good about this?*” No matter how terrible the situation
might seem, I always can find something good if I take the time to think
about it.
Everything –- good and bad -– is a learning experience. So, at the very
least, you can learn from bad experiences. However, there’s usually even
more to it than that. If you really take the time to look, you will usually
find something good, something really positive, about every person or
situation.
*Step 4:** Reinforce Positivity in Yourself*
Once I started thinking more positively and adapted to a more positive
attitude, I realized I had to reinforce these thoughts and behaviors in
myself so they would stick. As with any sort of training, practice makes
perfect, and, yes, you can practice being positive.
The best and easiest way to do this is to be positive when it comes to who
you are. Tell yourself you’re awesome. Tell yourself you look good. Tell
yourself that you love and accept yourself completely. Tell yourself you
did an awesome job at work or raising your kids or whatever it is you do.
Be honest with yourself, but do your best to look for the good. And,
whatever you do, *don’t* focus on the negative. Nothing good can come of
telling yourself that your butt’s too big or your latest career goal wasn’t
met.
It’s okay to not like everything about yourself (yet), but don’t spend
energy dwelling on the negative. Remind yourself of the good in you. We all
have positive attributes and it’s up to you to remind yourself of them
every day.
*Step 5:** Share Happiness with Others*
Not only do you need to be positive with yourself for this new *positive
attitude* to really take effect, you also need to be positive with others.
You have to share your wealth of positivity with the world.
The best way I’ve found to do this is quite simple and basic: be nice. Be
nice to other people, no matter what. Tell someone he or she looks nice
today. Tell someone they did a great job on that presentation. Tell your
parents or children (or both!) how much you love them and how great they
are.
When someone is feeling down, do what you can to cheer him or her up. Send
flowers. Write notes. Don’t gossip. Be kind to all living things. All of
these things sound basic enough, but, for someone like me, they didn’t used
to come easily.
In the past, I didn’t wanted to see the good in myself and, therefore,
didn’t want to see it in others either. I used to be critical and
condescending. Now I strive to be encouraging and supportive. I try not
only to treat others, as I would like to be treated, but also to consider
how *they* would like to be treated.
People appreciate positivity and the more you are sharing it with others,
the more you are practicing it and reinforcing it in your own life.
*Parting Words on the Positive Attitude Habit*
When you start feeling like the idea of being a positive person is
daunting, tell yourself this: “If someone who really used to struggle with
a negative attitude, turned her life around with these five steps, then I
can too!”
If anyone had told me a few years ago that I would be writing an article
about developing a positive attitude and living a happy life, I would have
laughed right in their face. I would have said, “Why in the world would
someone want me to write about positivity?”
But here I am, writing this post, believing in these words, and knowing
that every single day I am getting closer and closer to living the happy
life I’ve secretly dreamed of living. If I can do it, you can do it.
Believe in yourself and remember the most important lesson of all… a
positive outlook is a choice. Choose to be positive. Choose to be happy.
Life is short.
<http://groups.yahoo.com/subscribe/worldmalayaliclub/>
[image: xxpatiencexx][image: :iconover9kplz:]
<http://over9kplz.deviantart.com/>
*வாழிய செந்தமிழ்! வாழ்க நற்றமிழர்!*
*வாழிய பாரதமணித் திருநாடு!*
*v **a n a k k a m** S u b b u* [image:
cid:74B3150B6A5D47C78D74886103F1C35E@om0cb1f5f8600f]
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