*"Good evening," the maître d' said. "Table for four?"*
*"Yes, Thank you."* *"Smoking or non smoking?"* *"Non smoking."* *"Would you prefer to dine indoors or outdoors this evening?"* *"I guess indoors would be good."* *"Very well, sir," he said. "Would you like to be seated in the main dining room, the enclosed patio, or our lovely solarium?"* *"Uh, let me see...uh..."* *"I can give you a table with a lovely view in our lovely solarium."* *"I think the solarium would be lovely," I said.* *We followed him there...* *"Now, would you prefer a view overlooking the golf course, the sunset on the lake or the majestic mountains to the West?"* *"Whatever you recommend," I said.* *Let HIM make a decision for a change, I thought.* *He sat us by a window facing the golf course, lake or mountains. I couldn't tell which, because it was dark outside.* *Then, a young man, better dressed and better looking than any of us, presented himself at our table...* *"Good evening, my name is Paul, and I'll be your waiter this evening. Would you like a few minutes before I take your order?"* *"No," I said. "I'm just a meat-and-potatoes guy, so I'll have the filet mignon and a baked potato."* *"Soup, or salad?"* *"Salad."* *"We have a mixed-green salad, hearts of palm, or a very fine endive salad with baby shrimp."* *"Just a mixed-green salad, okay?"* *"Whatever you say, sir. Dressing?"* *I didn't want to make another decision... "Whatever you've got will be fine."* *"We have creamy Italian, Blue Cheese, Vinaigrette, Thousand Island, Honey Dijon and Ranch."* *"Just bring me one. Surprise me."* *"Creamy Italian is our house specialty. Would that be all right, sir?"* *"Yeah."* *I was curt. I was done with civility.* *"And for your baked potato?"* *I knew what was coming! "I just want the baked potato dry, you understand? I don't want anything on it."* *"No butter? No sour cream?"* *"No."* *"No chives? No bacon chips ? "* *"No! Don't you understand English?" "I don't want anything on it. Just bring me a baked potato and a steak."* *"Would you prefer the six, eight, or 12-ounce steak, sir?"* *"Whatever."* *"Would you like that rare, medium rare, medium, medium well or well done? Or, if you prefer, we can butterfly it for you."* *"Pauly Boy," I said, "you are really starting to get me steamed."* *"Which brings up the vegetables, sir. Would you like steamed broccoli, creamed corn, sautéed zucchini, or diced carrots?"* *That did it. I threw my napkin to the floor, stood up, put my face right in his arrogant kisser and said, "How'd you like to settle this outside?"* *"Fine with me, sir. Would you prefer the parking lot, the side alley or the street in front of the restaurant?"* *"I prefer right here."* *Then I punched him:* *He ducked, then countered with a left hook right under my eye. It was the first time all night he hadn't offered me a selection.* *I collapsed semiconscious into my chair, as someone in authority rushed over and berated Pauly.* *I felt my tie being loosened, my collar unbuttoned, hands slapping my face. When I regained my senses, I saw the very concerned maitre d' right in front of my nose. He apologized and offered to buy me a drink, call the paramedics, whatever I wanted.* *"No, no," I said. "I'll be all right. Just bring me a glass of water."* *"Yes, sir, right away," he said."Would you prefer imported mineral water, sparkling water, or club soda with a wedge of lime?"......................................!!!!!!!!* -- With best wishes S Chander -- You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups "Thatha_Patty" group. To unsubscribe from this group and stop receiving emails from it, send an email to [email protected]. For more options, visit https://groups.google.com/d/optout.
