*THE PROPER WAY TO CALL SOMEONE A BASTARD.*


*A guy was getting ready to tee off on the first hole when a  second golfer*





* approached and asked if he could join him.  The first said that he
usually played alone, but agreed to the twosome.    They were even  after
the first few holes. The second guy said, "We're about evenly  matched, how
about playing for five bucks a hole?"  The first guy said  that he wasn't
much for betting, but agreed to the terms.  The second  guy won the
remaining sixteen holes with ease. *



*As they were walking** off number eighteen, the second guy was busy
counting *

* his $80.00.  He*


* confessed that he was the pro at the neighbouring course and  liked to
pick on suckers.    The first fellow revealed that he was the  Parish
Priest.  The pro was flustered and apologetic, offering to  return the
money.  *



*The Priest said, "You won fair and square and I was*



*  foolish to bet with you. You keep your winnings."  The pro said, "Is
 there anything I can do to make it up to you?"    The Priest  said, "Well,
you could come to Mass on Sunday and make a donation.  And, if you want to,
bring your Mother and Father along, I'll marry** them.*

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