*5 minute management course* *:** Lessons 1 through 6*
*Lesson 1:* *A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.* *The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.* *When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor. * * Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel.' * *After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few * *seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.* *The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. * * When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who was that?' * * 'It was Bob the next door neighbor,' she replies.* * 'Great,' the husband says, 'did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?' * *Moral of the story:* * If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time,* *you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.* *Lesson 2:* *A priest offered a Nun a lift.. * * She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. * * The priest nearly had an accident. * * After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. * * The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?' * * The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.* *The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?' * * The priest apologized 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.' * * Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily * *and went on her way.* * On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, 'Go forth and seek, * *further up, you will find glory.'* * Moral of the story:* * If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.* *Lesson 3:* *A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.* * They rub it and a Genie comes out. * *The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.' * *'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.'* *Puff! She's gone. * * 'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse,* *an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.'* * Puff! He's gone. * * 'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager. * *The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after * *lunch.' * *Moral of the story:* * Always let your boss have the first say..* *Lesson 4* *An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. * * A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and do nothing?'* *The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.'* * So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.* * Moral of the story:* * To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.* *Lesson 5* * A turkey was chatting with a bull. * * 'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.'* *'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients.'* * The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.* * The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. * * Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.* * He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree. * *Moral of the story:* *Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there..* *Lesson 6* *A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field.* * While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. * * As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was.* * The dung was actually thawing him out! * * He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. * *A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate* *Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug * *him out and ate him.* *Morals of the story:* *(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy. * *(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your * * friend.* *(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep * * your mouth shut!* *THUS ENDS THE FIVE MINUTE MANAGEMENT COURSE* Circulated by: K.Raman. -- You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups "Thatha_Patty" group. To unsubscribe from this group and stop receiving emails from it, send an email to [email protected]. For more options, visit https://groups.google.com/d/optout.
