Discussions are better than arguments. Arguments are about WHO is right.
Discussions are about WHAT is right. I believe one of the most important
skills we can develop is the ability to listen to a differing
viewpoint/opinion without getting offended, defensive, or enraged.
Let's distinguish between discussion, quarrel, argument, and chat,
highlighting their key properties with evidence:
Discussion:
Definition: A conversation or debate aimed at exploring a topic, sharing
ideas, and understanding different viewpoints.
Properties:
Respectful Tone: Discussions typically maintain a respectful and
constructive tone.
Open-mindedness: Participants are open to new ideas and are willing to
consider alternative perspectives.
Evidence-Based: Arguments are supported by evidence or logical reasoning.
Goal-Oriented: The goal is often to reach a shared understanding or
consensus.
Example Evidence:
"In a recent discussion about climate change, participants presented
scientific studies and discussed potential solutions to address the issue."
Quarrel:
Definition: A heated and emotional argument, often characterized by anger,
resentment, and personal attacks.
Properties:
Emotional Tone: Quarrels are marked by heightened emotions and may involve
personal attacks.
Lack of Resolution: Quarrels often lead to unresolved conflicts and may
escalate tensions.
Subjectivity: Arguments may be based more on emotions than on facts or
evidence.
Negativity: The overall atmosphere tends to be negative and hostile.
Example Evidence:
"During the meeting, a quarrel erupted between team members, with raised
voices and accusations regarding the distribution of workload."
Argument:
Definition: A reasoned and logical presentation of ideas with the goal of
persuading or convincing others.
Properties:
Logical Structure: Arguments follow a logical structure, presenting claims
supported by evidence or reasoning.
Clarity: The main points are expressed clearly, and there is an effort to
make the argument understandable to others.
Persuasion: The intent is often to persuade others to accept a particular
viewpoint.
Open to Refutation: Arguments invite counterarguments and are open to being
challenged.
Example Evidence:
"In the essay, the author presented a compelling argument for the
importance of investing in renewable energy sources, providing data on
environmental benefits and economic sustainability."
Chat:
Definition: Informal and friendly conversation often focused on socializing,
sharing experiences, or exchanging pleasantries.
Properties:
Informal Tone: Chats have a relaxed and informal tone, allowing for casual
conversation.
Diverse Topics: The discussion may cover a wide range of topics, including
personal experiences, interests, or current events.
Non-Contentious: Chats are generally non-confrontational and aim to create
a positive and friendly atmosphere.
Interactive: Participants contribute to the conversation without a strict
structure.
Example Evidence:
"During the lunch break, colleagues engaged in a chat about their weekend
plans, sharing stories about recent movies and hobbies."
In summary, the key lies in the tone, structure, and intent of the
communication. While discussions and arguments aim for understanding and
persuasion, quarrels involve emotional conflict, and chats focus on
informal and friendly interactions.
Hence, whether AFRICA or JAPAN or INDIA or ANYPLACE, it is the
perception of acceptance as received without any envy or mischief. As
ANGER, ROUDRAM, FRUSTRATIONAL OUTBURSTS an EMOTIONAL HYSTERICAL CRY are
ventilations of an emotion, still ROWDRAM alone is good. So too, where the
receptive mind thinks he is only airing his thinking (not even shadows of
any views) and while doing so, are those, thoughts are, evidence based and
raising only applicable to universally-only are matters of importance.
Perception is broad-minded; jihadi is narrow-minded; the perception is
dharmic based; Jihadis are self-biased; perceptions have an infinite
vision; others, are missiles to wound. BG 2.14: O son of Kunti, the contact
between the senses and the sense objects gives rise to fleeting perceptions
of happiness and distress. [Means like Punch dialogues spoken in films; it
will appear to be of high value , as long as inside the theatre; but will
disappear and faded away ; this is also a perception of the senses of the
body] These are non-permanent, and come and go like the winter and summer
seasons. O descendent of Bharat, one must learn to tolerate them without
being disturbed. On the contrary, 13 8-12 says what is really a
knowledge;” Humility;
pridelessness; nonviolence; tolerance; simplicity; approaching a bona fide
spiritual master; cleanliness; steadiness; self-control; renunciation of
the objects of sense gratification; absence of false ego; the perception of
the evil of birth, death, old age and disease; detachment; freedom from
entanglement with children, wife, home and the rest; even-mindedness amid
pleasant and unpleasant events; constant and unalloyed devotion to Me;
aspiring to live in a solitary place; detachment from the general mass of
people; accepting the importance of self-realization; and philosophical
search for the Absolute Truth – all these I declare to be knowledge, and
besides this whatever there may be is ignorance.” And any view will be
evidence based, perceptions applicable universally, if absorbed, with the
right thinking.
For example, one is thinking that TOO MUCH OF DISCUSSION LEADS TO
QUARREL. How was one who uttered the idea? Discussion is mutual; argument
is mutual; anger is unilateral; as long as the mutual agreement exists,
even by force, (diplomacy), discussions may stretch for months or till the
garland becomes blister less. WHO WILL DEFINE “TOO MUCH”? If the intention
is a society, how can either know that discussion is only 5 or 50 minutes
or 50 Days? Parkinson’s Board room is an example. Discussion is live only
as long as the party to discussions, are equally or to greater extent are
aware of the subject. When unison of mind is absent, or the mind to the
righteousness is lacking, the argument starts. Again, the argument is also
mutual, only with a perception of knowledge, to sift the truth. However,
where there is a misapprehension that he always thinks too much, degrading
our whimsical complexes on either side, the argument turns into a quarrel.
So quarrel is the outcome of the individual reflections; and that of the
discussions; if discussions can be ended, just before the quarrel, the
purpose of the discussions should have been arrived at. Then it has nothing
to do with the loss of the ego properties of either. THUS ANGER IS NOT
CAUSED BY THE DISCUSSION OR THE ARGUMENTS BUT ONLY BY THE PERCEPTIONS
THROUGH THE SENSES AND NEVER THROUGH THE BALANCED MIND. So, such quotes
have to be viewed in depth rather than flexing it to the needs to support
as a back-rest.
Thank you K Rajaram IRS 281223
---------- Forwarded message ---------
From: 'N Sekar' via iyer123 <[email protected]>
Date: Thu, 28 Dec 2023 at 08:18
Subject: [iyer123] Fwd - Quote
To: Iyer <[email protected]>, Kerala Iyer <
[email protected]>, Rangarajan T.N.C. <[email protected]>,
Chittanandam V. R. <[email protected]>, Mathangi K. Kumar <
[email protected]>
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