CULTURALQA 04-2024-11 Allthe below QA are from QUORA DIGEST tome on 11-04-2024.
SelectedQuora answers by generally interesting are included. Still they need not be 100% correct answers. One joke is included. Compiled and posted by R Gopalakrishnan, 80, on 11-4-2024 Q1 Canyou share a Catholic church joke that you find funny? A1 RobertFarnsworth,12h A ten year old public school boy wasfinding fifth grade math to be a challenge. He didn’t care, and hardly wanted toeven try. He ignored his homework and tossed his books into a corner of hisroom, where they stayed gathering dust. His mom and dad did everything andanything to help their son...private tutors, peer assistance, Nothing worked. Finally they they thought they mighttry enrolling him into the local Catholic school.. After the first day of school the boywalked in the house with a stern expression on his face. He walked right pastthe parents and went straight to his room He quietly closed the door. Fornearly two hours he toiled away in his room -with math books strewn about hisdesk and the surrounding floor. He only emerged long enough to eat, and afterquickly cleaning his plate, he went straight back to his room, closed the door,and worked feverishly at his studies until bedtime. Overjoyed, she and her husband rushedinto their son's room, thrilled at the remarkable progress of their young son! "Was it the nuns that didit?", the father asked. The boy only shook his head and said,"No." "Was it the one-on-one tutoring?The peer-mentoring?", asked the mother. Again, the boy shrugged,"No." "The textbooks? The teacher? The curriculum?", asked the father. "Nope," said the son."It was all very clear to me from the very first day of Catholicschool." "How so?", asked his mom. "When I walked into the lobby, and I saw that guy they'd nailed tothe plus sign, I knew those people meant business!" Q2 Whatare some of the funniest one-liners? A2 YahiyaAli,12h He who smiles in a crisis has foundsomeone to blame. Light travels faster than sound. Thisis why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is afruit. Wisdom is not putting a tomato in a fruit salad. You spend the first two years oftheir life teaching them how to walk and talk. The next sixteen? Spent tellingthem to sit down and shut up. Politicians and diapers have onething in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the samereason. If I agreed with you, we'll both bewrong. To steal ideas from one person isplagiarism. To steal from many is research. A bus station is where a bus stops. Atrain station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station. A computer once beat me at chess, butit was no match for me at kick boxing. War does not determine who is right.It determines who is left. Q3 Canyou tell a police and guy weaving on road joke? A3 RebeccaC.,13h A police officer pulls over this guywho had been weaving in and out of the lanes. A police officer pulls over this guywho had been weaving in and out of the lanes. He goes up to the guy's window andsays, "Sir, I need you to blow into this breathalyzer tube." The man says, "Sorry officer Ican't do that. I am an asthmatic. If I do that I'll have a really badasthma attack." "Okay, fine. I need you to comedown to the station to give a blood sample." "I can't do that either. I am ahemophiliac. If I do that, I'll bleed todeath." "Well, then we need a urinesample." "I'm sorry officer I can't dothat either.I am also a diabetic. If I do that I'll get really low bloodsugar." "Alright then I need you to comeout here and walk this white line." "I can't do that, officer." "Why not?" "BecauseI'm too drunk to do that." Q4 Whatis an intelligent Husband and not less intellegant wifejoke? A4 WayneAlberts,14h A WIFE Sends a Message to Her HUSBAND WIFE: “Honey, please don't forget tobuy bread when you're coming home from work and lest I forget... Yourgirlfriend Elizabeth is also here and says hello to you.” HUSBAND: “Who is Elizabeth?” WIFE : “Nobody, I just wanted you torespond, so I can have confirmation that you saw my message.” HUSBAND: “But I’m with Elizabethright now, I thought you saw us!” WIFE: “What! Where are you?” Husband: “Near the neighbourhoodbakery.” WIFE: “Wait, I’m coming right now!” After 5 minutes, his wife sends amessage: WIFE: “I’m at the bakery, where areyou?” HUSBAND: “I’m at work. Now that you’re at the bakery, please buy thebread and go home! Q5 Behonest, why do you write on Quora? A5 SanyamSadana, Avid reader | Author | Masters in Political Science7h I was in the local bookstore. A girlentered, wearing a simple yet elegant saree, her beautiful hair untied, lookingsomething like this- I was busy searching for an aptnovel. She came and stood next to me, gazing at the book stack as if wonderingwhat to pick up. After a couple of minutes, she took out a book. I turned my gaze to look at this bookshe chose. The Alchemist, it was. I smiled. She looked at me withamazement. I didn’t want her to think of me as a creep, so I said, “goodchoice”. “Wait, are you Sanyam Sadana?” she exclaimed. “Yeah, I am. How do you know?” I wassurprised. “You are a famous writer, dude!” “Oh, you have read one of my books I guess.Which one, ‘Limericks on Nature’ or ‘The Mad Man’s Dream’?” I was curious toknow and visibly excited to meet someone who already knows me. “Neither, I have read your Quora answers. Theyare hilarious man!” she seemed eager to talk. “Wow, to be honest I never expected to meetsomeone from Quora in real life”, I smiled. After exchanging a few more wordsregarding my Quora answers, she said, “For now I am buying ‘The Alchemist’, butwho’s to tell me what to read next? Can you suggest some more books?” “Sure, fiction or non fiction?” I asked. “Um… not here, actually there’s a cafe justten minutes walking distance away. Maybe you can recommend me some good booksover a cup of coffee?” she said with a smirk. I buy books from Amazon only.Before Icould fathom what’s happening, I heard a sound, tring tring… And I woke up tothe alarm. It was a dream -- You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups "Thatha_Patty" group. To unsubscribe from this group and stop receiving emails from it, send an email to [email protected]. To view this discussion on the web visit https://groups.google.com/d/msgid/thatha_patty/320540390.1302519.1712848028131%40mail.yahoo.com.
