5 Reasons Why People Gossip People gossip behind your back and the reasons are discussed here; in Tamil Tirukkural contains adikarams on PURAM KOORAL.
1. Low self-esteem Poor self-esteem is a common reason for mindless gossip. If a person doesn’t feel confident in themselves or perhaps believes that they don’t have anything interesting to say, they might think that talking about you behind your back makes them more exciting. And a few including the writer Gopalakrishna is one such. A purring cat ; a devil incarnation. Cannot sleep peacefully if some one is not lashed every day. People with low self-esteem also try to avoid being the focus of the conversation, so talking about others is a way out. Don't worry about what people say behind your back Don’t worry about what people say behind your back. They are the people who are finding faults in your life instead of fixing their own. -Unknown 2. Jealousy Jealousy can be a factor. Even excellent friends can harbor secret envy, whether it’s because of your career success or your amazing new partner! Some people just have the unfortunate habit of comparing themselves with others. They may feel like your grass is greener and they deserve better things in life than what they have. Oftentimes, this habit stems from self-esteem issues. 3. Negativity Negative people thrive on gossip and rumours. Sometimes, a person who is talking behind your back loves the drama of sharing secrets. This is their way of making themselves more included in a social circle. However, the most evident truth about negative people who talk behind your back is that they simply enjoy it. They never see the bright side and focus on the negative aspects of life and people. This is their level of perception – such personalities are often unable to see and say something nice about someone. 4. Shared dislike ( a kind of groupism; about aa less than a dozen including the leader villains as Duryodhanas , dwelve long in the imaginary world where only they exist, thing like cat closing the eyes. Shared dislike is a common reason for people to get together to talk about somebody else. When this happens, neither person is a friend and may simply be trying to get close to you to satisfy their curiosity. 5. Attention seeking Someone who turns the conversation around to you might be hoping it gets back to you. In this case, they might be trying to get your attention! A friend who struggles with anxiety or self-esteem issues shouldn’t say negative things about you to bolster their confidence. Still, if this is happening, it might be possible to repair the relationship if they can try to work through the vulnerability that has prompted such unkind behaviour. How to Deal with People Who Talk Behind Your Back The greatest paradox of social relationships: Everyone talks about everyone, and yet, no one cares about each other. -Unknown There isn’t any ‘one size fits all’ solution here because how you deal with people who gossip about you depends on several factors: How much you value the relationship and whether you believe it is worth saving. How hurtful or spiteful the things said about you are. Who has been talking about you behind your back – and whether they are someone you cannot avoid dealing with. Whether any confidences have been broken, and how serious they are. Here are five ways to manage this situation: What to Do When People Talk Behind Your Back 1. Do nothing It’s normal to want to retaliate or clear your name if people have been talking about you. But the reality is that this behavior says much more about the person gossiping than it does about you! If you can, rise above, disregard the jealously, and keep doing your thing. You must be rather exciting to be the topic of conversation even when you are not around! Keep in mind the quote: Gossip dies when it hits a wise person's ears -Unknown 2. Talk about it You should also consider whether what you have heard is true because gossip can spread in all sorts of ways! If you have been told that a friend is talking about you behind your back, do you trust this information, or is it worth asking whether it is accurate? Most people who talk behind your back won’t expect to be caught out. Or conversely, they expect you to find out and confront them. Either way, it can help put your suspicions to rest once and for all. 3. Make it public When it comes to the workplace, rumors can be extremely damaging to your relationships and reputation. If someone you work with is talking about you behind your back, it is essential to report this to a person in a position of authority to investigate and put a stop to it. In this instance, making the situation public can be a powerful way to mitigate the value of any gossip, and clear the air with other colleagues. 4. Cut them off Sometimes, a breach of confidence is irreparable. If you don’t feel comfortable spending time with somebody you know has been saying negative things about you, it is healthier to walk away. 5. Rethink your relationship If somebody has betrayed your trust, but you don’t feel that it’s right to cut him or her out of your life altogether, a middle ground can be to re-evaluate your relationship. You will likely not want to share secrets or private information with somebody prone to gossip. So it would be well worth dialing back on the friendship and dealing with them in a less personal capacity when your paths cross. Is It Best to Confront Someone Gossiping about You? Whether or not to confront people who talk behind your back maliciously about you very much depends on what you would like to get out of the conversation. It is easy to feel angry, but make sure that you have heard all the sides of the conversation before lashing out. Likewise, walking away might feel like you are emotionally defeated. You might feel strongly that you need to stand up for yourself and set the record straight before considering the situation finished with. Oftentimes, people who talk behind your back are very skillful manipulators. In this case, putting yourself into a position where you are forcing a confrontation may not work out well. But if you need closure or would like to ask why, then this might be beneficial and help you move on. Gossip gives dopamine to people’s brains, and dopamine is the neurotransmitter of pleasure, so low dopamine types are going to be especially fond of it. And low dopamine types are usually people who are genetically predisposed to have magnesium and B complex vitamin absorption issues. And since magnesium and B complex vitamins are needed to synthesize dopamine, anyone who has trouble properly absorbing magnesium and B complex vitamins, will tend to be more dopamine deficient and then tend to be more likely to want to stimulate dopamine release in their brain by gossiping. According to phrases.org.uk, ‘Chinese whispers’ is a game in which a message is distorted by being passed around in a whisper. It refers to a sequence of repetitions of a story, each one differing slightly from the original, so that the final telling bears only a scant resemblance to the original. K RAJARAM IRS 5724 6724 References: https://www.wikihow.com https://www.scienceofpeople.com On Fri, 5 Jul 2024 at 20:05, 'gopala krishnan' via iyer123 < [email protected]> wrote: > Respected sir, > > Mr Rajaram is having bull's nature. *Coming and hitting*. Recently I > responded to your mail. Picking it up, he wanted one to one > attacks/reaction/ responses. > > I avoid maximum the hitting bull since it's nature cannot be changed. > Unless negatively responded or post irrelevant copy paste, he will not get > mental rest. > > Mr Sai, has expressed after clear observation how pleasant our iyer123 > group now. > Gopalakrishnan > > > > On Saturday, 6 July, 2024 at 06:20:30 am IST, Narayanaswamy Iyer < > [email protected]> wrote: > > > > Dear most respected and most understanding moderator > > Am humbled by the encouraging words. > > Reminds me of Lord Mahaa Vishnu who, when kicked in the chest by an > enraged rishi who found him sleeping, exclaimed, "My Lord, your feet might > have been hurt," and to this day wears the marks of the two feet on his > chest. > > The most regrettable "conversations carrying the acrimony" were merely > knee-jerk responses to intolerable attacks on our scriptures and religious > practices, or > obscenities and blasphemies in Thamizh. > > One example is the insinuation that Lord Sree Krishna was having "an > affair" with Draupathi. > > S Narayanaswamy Iyer > > On Fri, Jul 5, 2024 at 9:02 PM 'gopala krishnan' via iyer123 < > [email protected]> wrote: > > Than you Mr Sai for intimating the improved condition of our group. > Gopalakrishnan > > On Friday, 5 July, 2024 at 06:20:39 pm IST, Indian R < > [email protected]> wrote: > > > Dear subscribers, > > I have a few observations to make on the current state of the group. > 1) *Thank you all* for ensuring that you DO NOT begin any of your posts > by cross-posting to other groups (which means, in layperson terms, adding > other group names to the TO or CC address). > 2) This has ensured that the noise pollution that used to prevalent in > this group earlier, has ceased to be. > 3) All this has been accomplished due to the diligence of the subscribers > and contributors to this group. > 4) The only conversations still carrying the acrimony are threads that > have been prevalent since before this new practice. > 5) And imagine - this was accomplished PURELY because ONE email address > has been prevented from writing to this group. > > I *thank you all once again*, and hope and pray that this peace > continues. > > Your humble moderator, > Sai > > -- > You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups > "iyer123" group. > To unsubscribe from this group and stop receiving emails from it, send an > email to [email protected]. > To view this discussion on the web visit > https://groups.google.com/d/msgid/iyer123/89464cb8-76f6-41e0-8615-5059096d04een%40googlegroups.com > <https://groups.google.com/d/msgid/iyer123/89464cb8-76f6-41e0-8615-5059096d04een%40googlegroups.com?utm_medium=email&utm_source=footer> > . > > -- > You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups > "iyer123" group. > To unsubscribe from this group and stop receiving emails from it, send an > email to [email protected]. > To view this discussion on the web visit > https://groups.google.com/d/msgid/iyer123/1182311382.1224399.1720184542591%40mail.yahoo.com > <https://groups.google.com/d/msgid/iyer123/1182311382.1224399.1720184542591%40mail.yahoo.com?utm_medium=email&utm_source=footer> > . > > -- > You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups > "iyer123" group. > To unsubscribe from this group and stop receiving emails from it, send an > email to [email protected]. > To view this discussion on the web visit > https://groups.google.com/d/msgid/iyer123/CAL4idhMFhVH%3D92hiJcJiTY656EQse5LOuxLjDajb-qEEUvQeBw%40mail.gmail.com > <https://groups.google.com/d/msgid/iyer123/CAL4idhMFhVH%3D92hiJcJiTY656EQse5LOuxLjDajb-qEEUvQeBw%40mail.gmail.com?utm_medium=email&utm_source=footer> > . > > -- > You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups > "iyer123" group. > To unsubscribe from this group and stop receiving emails from it, send an > email to [email protected]. > To view this discussion on the web visit > https://groups.google.com/d/msgid/iyer123/2094693729.1277939.1720227900293%40mail.yahoo.com > <https://groups.google.com/d/msgid/iyer123/2094693729.1277939.1720227900293%40mail.yahoo.com?utm_medium=email&utm_source=footer> > . > -- You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups "Thatha_Patty" group. 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