Very interesting! And he makes me guilty. NO never I am. Tamil is
your tongue and my mom can speak Malayalam as my wife can by education and
living in. But as I am good at Tamil and learnt well , I took only French
in the college so that though I am not a french tongue fluently due to non
practice, my French connections served my purpose at the right time. And
once in Pondicherry my Pondy inspector brought a letter in French, and when
quizzed, the assessee was evasive, my recording of the statement in
pure Eng giving the french text, sealed him there with the disclosures.  So
even a small twig is helpful, somewhere in life. KR IRS 28824

On Wed, 28 Aug 2024 at 09:21, Chittanandam V R <[email protected]>
wrote:

>
> *Received from Shri Sitendra Kumar*
>
> *                             Punjabi as ‘father tongue’*
>
> *Atul Joshi *
>
> *MY mother often reminisces that theirs was one of the first Punjabi
> weddings in Yorkshire, England, in the 1960s. She shows newspaper cuttings
> to bolster her claim. The headlines read: ‘The teacher weds the lady
> twice’. This was to acknowledge that my parents first had a conventional
> marriage at my maternal grandparents’ place, followed by the registered
> court marriage. Though the Punjabi community in England was small, to begin
> with, the common thread of the native language of the early settlers wove
> them together.*
>
> *When I was a child, one of my father’s university colleagues (a British
> woman) wisely advised him to retain Punjabi as the language of conversation
> at home so that I could learn it and be connected to my roots. She opined,
> ‘Your son would absorb English from the air, but the challenge would be to
> make him understand Punjabi.’ As a rule, my parents would speak in Punjabi
> at home; I picked it up with ease and that made my father’s heart swell
> with pride.*
> *He had an intense attachment to his mother tongue, while having respect
> for other languages. It was no surprise that his PhD thesis in linguistics
> from the University of London was titled ‘The phonology of the Punjabi
> verb’. Eventually, he returned to India, took up a university position, and
> we settled here. He was content that I went to a school that laid emphasis
> on teaching and learning Punjabi.*
>
> *A generation later, my school going son had just been promoted to the
> senior section. It was time for him to choose an additional language, and
> he decided to take French. I asked him, ‘Is there another choice?’
> ‘Punjabi,’ he replied nonchalantly.*
>
> *I was quick to suggest that Punjabi should be his automatic choice. He
> claimed that most of his friends had picked French. He said it gave them an
> advantage to learn an international language, and it was fashionable to
> learn French. If at all he opted for Punjabi, his existing class section
> with all his friends would be changed. I looked at him and then played a
> masterstroke, ‘But your mother tongue is Punjabi.’ He carefully thought
> over it and then announced, ‘I agree that my nana-nani speak Punjabi
> occasionally, but my mother tongue is Hindi since mom is from Ambala. She
> always speaks in Hindi.’ I was nonplussed. Finally, I said, ‘Son, in that
> case, your father tongue is Punjabi and that should be a good reason for
> you to consider taking it up!’*
> *My argument convinced him and he dutifully opted for Punjabi. His section
> did get changed and his friends of five years were separated from him, but
> he honoured my pride in my mother tongue. I could see my deceased father’s
> appreciation mirrored in my son’s beaming eyes once he started learning
> Punjabi. May everyone’s mother tongue flourish… with or without a nudge
> from the father!*
> *Atul Joshi *
> **************
> *Chittanandam*
>

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