The landmark verdict by the Supreme Court on 27th March 2018 declared the
interference of Khap Panchayats or any such quasi-judicial body with an
intent to scuttle a marriage between two consenting adults, within the
permissible codes of the Hindu Marriage Act 1955, as illegal. It brought
relief to those from the rural or the interior areas of North Indian states
like Haryana, Rajasthan and UP who lived under the diktat of the Khaps. The
question here is, are these laws in accordance with the rules as stated in
our Shashtras or relevant in today’s time?
In Hinduism, marriage or Vivaha is a sacrament and not a contract. It
is not simply a ritual; mantras uttred binds the souls; there are no
soul-mate; but souls uniting. it is an institution in itself. It is
considered to be one of the most sacred bonds between two individuals, a
union not only of the body but also of the mind and soul, to bring forth
and nurture the progeny of life and to repay the debt of our ancestors. For
such a sacred union to form, true and honoured companionship between
individuals is necessary. A man without a wife is never considered
complete. Without a wife, he might also be prevented from performing
various religious sacraments. Only a wife can complete him, in his journey
of life for attaining the four aspects of life, Dharma (obligation), Artha
(possession), Kama (love and desires) and finally Moksha (emancipation).
That’s why a wife is not only known as “Patni”, but more significantly
“Sahadharmini”, “Dharampatni” or “Ardhangini”. It is a union which is not
confined to one life only. It’s a union that extends to seven lives and
beyond. This union is considered irrevocable and indissoluble and hence
words like divorce, separation is alien to Hinduism in literal terms. WHERE
MARRIAGE IS CONSIDERED AS A CONTRACT ONLY, ALL PROBLEMS WILL DIVIDE THE
COUPLE OUT OF PRESUMED ILLEGITAMATE EMOTIONS. HOWEVER, WHERE THE TIES GETS
STRENGHTENED BY A SMALL THREAD WITH THE TURMERIC VALUE, THAT IS THE
WONDER. {KR:
today 8 hours before we lost my CO-BROTHER @ NEWJERESY USA ON 13 11 24
WHICH ALSO HAPPENS TO BE THEIR WEDDING DAY; BONDAGE REAL FOR >50 YEARS}
The institution of marriage and the virtuous practice of fidelity was
introduced by a sage named Svetaketu, whose references can be found in the
Upanishads. He was the son of sage Uddalaka, who was the grandson of sage
Aruni. One day, a Brahman made a proposition to his mother for a physical
desire to which she readily agreed and moved ahead with him, without any
resentment from Uddalaka. This deeply annoyed Svetaketu, and he questioned
Uddakala for not averting his mother from going with the other man.
Uddalaka tried to soothe down the infuriated Svetaketu by telling him that
since antiquity, women have had the freedom to do so. However, Svetaketu
condemned such customs, and he finally envisaged the concept of marriage
and ethics of absolute fidelity between a husband and wife.{KR: THIS IS IN
UPA PURANA}
A Hindu marriage predominantly follows the principles as stated in the Manu
Smriti, the types of marriages, the permitted and forbidden decrees, the
roles and responsibilities of husband and wife and more importantly the
purpose of marriage.
The Vedic Hinduism recognises eight types of marriages which are mentioned
in the Manusmriti, describing it as below:
1. *Brahma Vivaha* – This is considered as the ultimate form of marriage,
where the maiden decked with fine ornaments and clothes given in hand to a
suitor who has completed his Brahmacharya Ashram and has knowledge of the
Vedas, whose family goes to the bride’s place, asking her hand to be the
GrahaLakshmi of their household.
2. *Arsa Vivaha* – In this type of marriage a girl is married off to a
groom whose family has paid the kanya-shulkam or bride-price to the parents
of the bride. The price would generally be a cow with half a calf and a
bull. In ancient times, the brides were given in hand to sages or rishis
whoever paid the kanya-shulkam.
3. *Daiva Vivaha*:- After waiting for a considerable period of time, if the
bride’s family isn’t able to find a suitable groom, the girl is given as a
Dakshina along with jewelleries and fineries to young priests as a
sacrifice for appesing the Devas or Gods. The royals used this vivaha as a
medium to create diplomatic alliances with foes or superior kings, by
gifting their daughters as rewards for these ties.
4. *Prajapatya Vivaha*:- In this marriage the bride is handed over to the
groom similarly as in Brahma Vivaha, the only difference being is that in
this marriage the father of the bride goes to fetch the groom, instead of
the groom’s family searching for the bride.
5. *Gandharva Vivaha*:- In this marriage the two individuals can marry out
of their free will. They have the freedom to start a conjugal life with or
without the consent of their parents, by exchanging vows in presence of
some deities, sages or nature.
6. *Asura Vivaha*:- In this marriage though the groom may not be compatible
with the bride or lack in many qualities, but by paying wealth and treasure
to the bride’s parents and kith and kin, he can marry the woman.
7. *Rakshasa Vivaha*:- In this marriage after slaying or wounding the
girl’s family, by forging battles with them, the girl is then forced or
convinced to marry against her will.
8. *Paishacha Vivaha:*– This is considered as the most degraded form of
marriage. When the girl is in an unconscious state, intoxicated or mentally
challenged, while being married and thus marrying without her consent or
knowledge, is condemned as a sinful act.
The first four matrimonial bonds reflect the paradigm behind arranged
marriages. The last three are prohibited as per Manu Smriti, out of which
the last two are condemned. The Gandharva marriage is an analogy to the
modern day love marriages, where the individuals have the liberty to choose
their partners. Though Gandharva marriage had its due prominence in our
Shahstras, but with advancement of time, Vedic Hinduism giving way to
classic Hinduism, the concept of arranged marriage rose to prominence,
which till today is predominant ritual for a marriage between two
individuals.
Manu Smriti also supported Anuloma, where a girl marrying within her caste
or a caste higher than hers. But it shunned Protiloma, a nuptial or
marriage where a girl marries to a caste which is lower than her own caste.
In today’s time, Anuloma and Protiloma are determined by the financial
status of the groom rather than the caste. Definitely for a secure future,
a woman would want to marry someone with higher financial status known as
hypergamy, whereas the reverse is known as hypogamy where a woman marries
someone without considering financial status, but out of sheer emotion,
despite the angst of her family or well-wishers. Hindu code bill neither
encourages Anuloma nor condemns Protiloma, unless the consenting adults are
forcefully married.
Prevalent at that time was prohibition of marriage within the same Gotras. It
is believed the Hindu Gotra system has evolved from the eight Rishis or the
Saptarishi, namely, Gautama, Bharadwaja, Vishvamitra, Jamadagni, Vashista,
Kashyapa, Atri and Agastya borne out of Brahma’s mind through yogic powers.
Marrying within the same Gotra implies marrying someone from the same
bloodline. The offspring conceived out of such consanguineous marriage
suffers various disorders and congenital anomalies because of the genetic
mutation that takes place at the time of conception. Owing to different
Gotras, the marriage between maternal cousins could be acceptable, but due
to to the same bloodline, these nuptials are ideally not encouraged in
India, other than some specific regions. Scientifically, in consanguineous
marriages, the problem arises when one of the partners carries a defect in
the genes, when it mutates with a gene from the same community, which too
might be the carrier of the same abnormality, then the offspring conceived,
inherits two copies of the faulty genes thus triggering the defect. But
marriage within different Gotras reduces genetic disorders to a larger
extent as the genes that mutates are basically from a larger pool. The same
Gotra or Sagotra marriage is possible, if the individuals are not related
to six generations both from maternal and paternal side. The Gotra system
has been significant in preventing genetic abnormalities since its
inception thousands of years ago. But with changes in Indian demographics,
the Gotras becoming wider, this prohibition barely exists, even in the
Hindu Code Bill, unless they are linked as Sapindas or don’t fall within
the decree of prohibited relationship marriage.
Sapinda marriage is basically marriage amongst cousins. Though prohibited
under Hindu Marriage Act 1955, it is permitted only under special customary
practices. Sapinda relationship extends to five generations within the line
of ascent on the paternal side and within three generations on the maternal
side.
Who are these so called moral keepers of the society? How and why were
they formed? Are they within the parameters of Indian law and judiciary or
outside it? It is not exactly known how they were formed. In ancient times,
as people started giving up nomadic lives and were heading towards
civilization, villages were formed. Now, to resolve the disputes and for
meting out justice, a group of senior members from the upper clans came
together forming assemblies or Sabhas for governing these villages. They
came to be known as Panchayats. In India, even after this rapid development
or civilization, the rural and the tribal areas have hold on to their
ancient cultures and traditions and their own methodologies for delivering
justice. The elected Panchayats from atleast 12, (though originally it was
84), individual villages come together to decide on matters at the
highest level
and all the Khaps of state collectively are known as “Sarv Khap Panchayat”.
Every Khap elects a member to represent their Khaps at the Sarv Khap level.
The irony is, though these are arbitrary judicial systems outside the
parameters of Indian judiciary, their promptness in delivering a verdict in
just one sitting has kept them intact, contrary to Indian courts where
cases linger on for months and years. Despite changing times, these Khaps
haven’t kept pace with changing mindsets or laws. Though in 2014, the
Satrol Khap in Hisar gave its go-ahead to inter-caste marriages,
inter-village as well as intra-gotra in some special cases.
In order to unify different sects of Hinduism, the historic Hindu Code Bill
was introduced in 1951, leading to criticism from various spiritual
leaders, groups and devotees. This Hindu Code Bill also introduced the
Hindu Marriage Act, to amend and codify the Sastrik law (the classical
Hindu laws prior to the Hindu Marriage Act) as our civilization progressed
rapidly. It piloted the abolition of practices like polygamy, polyandry,
dowry, child marriage and introduced concepts like divorce, separation,
widow remarriage, which had its own pros and cons. Finally, more than the
rules laid out in the Vedas, the doctrines of this act became the
foundation of a valid Hindu marriage. Section 5 of this act mentions the
mandatory conditions for solemnizing a marriage between two consenting
adults.
*1. Neither party has a spouse living at the time of marriage *(thus ruling
out polygamy or polyandry),
*2. At the time of marriage, neither party:-*
1. *is incapable of giving a valid consent to it in consequence of
unsoundness of mind;*
2. *though capable of giving a valid consent, has been suffering from
mental disorder of such a kind or to such an extent as to be unfit for
marriage and the procreation of children;*
*3. The bridegroom has completed the age of twenty-one years and the bride
the age of eighteen years at the time of the marriage; (thus
prohibiting child-marriage).*
*4. The parties are not within the degrees of prohibited relationship
unless the custom or usage governing each of them permits of a marriage
between the two;*
*5. The parties are not Sapindas of each other, unless the custom or usage
governing each of them permits of a marriage between the two.”*
The Hindu Marriage Act also doesn’t discourage Sagotra marriages (until it
doesn’t violate the decree of prohibited relationship), nor it encourages
or discourages Anuloma and Protiloma, hypergamy or hypogamy as discussed
above. Also, it doesn’t prohibit or support exogamy (inter-caste, community
even religion) marriages or endogamy (marriage within its own caste, clan,
community).
As these codes became progressive, there was some degeneration in this
sacred institution. In present day, with the advancement of western
culture, marriage is no longer a compulsory obligation. It has become more
of an individual choice. As marriages started becoming a lavish affair or a
measure for financial status, persons with economic difficulties also
prefer not to enter into matrimony. With girls becoming more educated and
financially independent, there is no compulsion to get married.
There has always been a debate on the process of selection of suitable
mates in Hinduism. Classical Hinduism emphasised on the selections made by
the families rather than considering the opinion of the bride and the
groom, considering marriage more as a contract than a sacrament. But our
puranas tell a different story awhere there was freedom in choosing one’s
life partner. The marriages of Gods like Shiva, Krishna exemplifies the
same. The swayamvara of Draupadi where she had the freedom to choose Arjuna
over Karna, or the swayamvara of Sita testifies the same. With the Hindu
Marriage Act ruling out Sagotra or inter-caste marriages, there has been
rise in exogamy with more increase in inter-caste, community and religion
marriages.
A Hindu marriage was never considered accomplished until Saptapadi or the
seven rounds around the sacred fire were taken. But in the modern world,
where people are constantly running short of time and concerned with their
financial wellbeing, they prefer not to get into the hassle of elaborate
and lavish ceremonies. Today, marriages can be solemnized in the civil
courts as per the Act and in other social institutions like Arya Samaj with
simplified rules.
To safeguard against domestic violence and other forms of harassment,
concepts such as divorce and separation have been introduced, so either a
man or woman can come out of such relationships and start life afresh. But
over the years, divorce has become a mockery. The sanctity of this nuptial
bond has diminished. With a fast-paced life, nobody has the patience to
understand the purpose of this sacrament and thrive towards its
accomplishment. Divorce has become an easy escape. Thus, Hindu marriage no
longer holds as an unbreakable bond for life.
Also, in today’s time the concept of marriage has become more of a social
contract than the union of two souls. More than the bonds of love and
compassion, it is based on financial, social or hormonal illusion.
Traditionally, “Dharma”, “Praja” (progeny) and “Rati” (pleasure) were the
basic aims of a Hindu marriage, where attaining Dharma was a priority,
followed by Praja.and then Rati. But presently, it is seen that Rati has
been gaining prominence over Dharma. The bond too has become fragile.
In the Mahabharata, the committed friendship in marriage is emphasized. Out
of the 120 questions asked by the Yaksha to Yudhistira, one of the
questions is “*kimsvin mitram grihesatah*?” meaning “Who is the friend of a
householder”? To which he replied “*bhaaryaa mitram grihesatah” *implying
“the friend of a householder is his spouse”. In another question he is
asked, “*kimsvid daiva krutah sakha*?” which states, “Who is man’s
god-given friend?” to this he responded, “*bhaaryaa daivakrutah sakha*”,
implicating, “A man’s God-given friend is his wife”. Though the Hindu
marriage Act of 1955, strives its best to safeguard this sacrosanct union
between two individuals by implanting various laws under Indian panel code,
again it basically depends how an individual perceives the concept behind
this sacred union. But to sum it up, in India. marriage is still a sacred
union not only between two individuals but between two families as well.
k Rajaram IRS 141124
---------- Forwarded message ---------
From: 'venkat giri' via iyer123 <[email protected]>
Date: Thu, 14 Nov 2024 at 12:43
Subject: [iyer123] Re: Kadi - jokes
To: Rama <[email protected]>, Iyer <[email protected]>
☔மழை, 💃மனைவி - இரண்டிற்கும் என்ன ஒற்றுமை???
ரெண்டுமே இல்லாதப்போ எப்ப வரும்ன்னு ஏங்குவோம்..
வந்தா ஏண்டா வந்ததுதுன்னு புலம்புவோம்.
😂😂😂😂
-----
*Real FACT*
*----*
*குடும்பத்தில் கணவன் மனைவி இடையே நடைபெறும் உரையாடல்கள் சில சமயங்களில்
சண்டையை வரவழைத்து விடும். சில சமயங்களில் அதிக நேரம் காமெடியாக நீளும்.
அதுவும் மாமனார் மாமியாரை வைத்து சீண்டி மனைவியின் கோபத்தை உரசிப்பார்ப்பது
கணவர்களுக்கு அலாதியான சுகம். மனைவிகள் சும்மா விடுவார்களா? பதிலுக்கு கணவர்
வீட்டு பரம்பரையையே சந்திக்கு இழுத்து விட்டு விடுவார்கள். அப்படி ஒரு
வீட்டில் நடந்த சம்பவத்தை ஒட்டு கேட்ட போது நமக்கு கிடைத்த கண்டென்ட் தான்
இந்த காமெடி.----கணவன் 🤔 மனைவி 🤣 தமிழ் இன் கடிஜோக்ஸ் mokka kadi jokes
tamil kadi jokes #tamilkadijokes
<https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nvfDmY39b-k>கணவன் 🤔 மனைவி 🤣 தமிழ் இன்
கடிஜோக்ஸ் mokka kadi jokes tamil kadi jokes ...
<https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nvfDmY39b-k>கணவன் மனைவி உறவு எப்படி இருக்க
வேண்டும்..? | Bharathi Baskar Wonderful Speech | Tamizhi Vision |
<https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L4oC69QlFs4&list=PL8rP6ZhayjuwW6pr5Dm6b-6ik2jj7sKJm&index=2>கணவன்
மனைவி உறவு எப்படி இருக்க வேண்டும்..? | Bharathi Baskar Wonderful S...
<https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L4oC69QlFs4&list=PL8rP6ZhayjuwW6pr5Dm6b-6ik2jj7sKJm&index=2>---ஒரு
சிறந்த கணவன்-மனைவி உறவு எப்படி இருக்க வேண்டும்? - திருமணம் உலகெங்கிலும்
ஆயிரக்கணக்கான மேற்கோள்களை உருவாக்குவதற்கு உத்தரவாதம் அளிக்க முடியும். -
திருமணம் என்பது இரண்டு சரியான நபர்களை ஒன்றிணைப்பது அல்ல என்கிறார். இது
இரண்டு அபூரண மனிதர்கள் ஒருவருக்கொருவர் குறைபாடுகளை ஏற்றுக்கொண்டு ஒன்றாக
வாழ்வதைப் பற்றியது. அவர்களின் வேறுபாடுகளை அனுபவிக்க கற்றுக்கொள்வது.எல்லாம்
நன்றாக இருக்கும் போது பிசினஸ் கிளாஸை ரசிப்பது மட்டுமல்லாமல், சூரியனுக்கு
கீழே உங்களுடன் நடப்பது திருமணமாகும்.- கணவன் பால் எனில் அதில் கலக்கப் படும்
தண்ணீரைப் போல் இருந்திட வேண்டும் மனைவி.பாலில் எவ்வளவு தான் தண்ணீர்
கலந்தாலும், தண்ணீரை தனியே பிரித்துக் காட்டும் குணம் பாலுக்கில்லை. பாலை
தனியே காட்டும் குணம் தண்ணீருக்கு இல்லை.தண்ணீர் கலந்த பாலை அடுப்பில்
வைக்கையில், தண்ணீர் நீராவியாகப் பிரிந்து செல்ல, அதை தாங்காத முடியாத பால்
கோபத்தில் பொங்கி எழுந்து மேலே வரும்.பொங்கி வரும் பாலில் சிறிது தண்ணீர்
தெளிக்க தன்னை விட்டுச் சென்ற தண்ணீர் தன்னிடம் திரும்பியதும், பால் கோபம்
தணிந்து பாத்திரத்தில் அடங்கும். ஒரு வேளை அப்படி தண்ணீர் தெளிக்கப்படவில்லை
எனில் பால் பொங்கி ஊற்றி அடுப்பையே அணைத்துவிடும்.கணவனும் மனைவியும்
ஒருவருக்குள் ஒருவர் அடங்கி இருக்கும் வரையில் தான் குடும்பம் எனும் நெருப்பு
அணையாமல் இருக்கும்.புரிந்து கொள்ளும் காலம்தான் வாழ்க்கையின்
வசந்தகாலம்.....எத்தனை காலம் வாழ்ந்தோம் என்பதைவிட எப்படி வாழ்ந்தோம் என்பதே
வரலாறு..*
On Thursday 14 November, 2024 at 11:38:51 am IST, Rama <[email protected]>
wrote:
😊கணவன்: நேத்து ராத்திரி ஒரு அழகான பொண்ணு என் கனவுல வந்தா
மனைவி: தனியா வந்துருப்பாளே
கணவன்: அது உனக்கு எப்படி தெரியும்
மனைவி: அவ புருசன் தான் என் கனவுல வந்தானே
-இனி பேசுவ
🤔😳😇
____________________________
கணவன் : எதை பார்த்தாலும் உன் முகம்தான் தெரியுது டார்லிங்,
மனைவி : அப்படியா எங்க இருக்கிங்க..?
கணவன் : "Zoo"ல இருக்கேன்..ma
மனைவி : 👊👊👊👊👊
____________________________
மனைவி:உங்களை பார்க்காமலே
கல்யாணத்துக்கு OK சொன்னேன்.
நான் தான் தியாகி...!!
கணவர்: உன்னை பார்த்த பின்னாலும்,
கல்யாணத்துக்கு OK சொன்னேன்.
நான் தானே பெரிய தியாகி....!!!😄😄😄
____________________________
மனைவி: நேத்திக்கு நான் வைரத் தோடு கேட்டப்ப முடியவே முடியாதுன்னு தலையை
அங்கிட்டும் இங்கிட்டுமா ஆட்டுனீங்க.. இப்ப மட்டும் வாங்கி வந்திருக்கீங்க...?
கணவன்: ஓ அதுவா... பொண்டாட்டி ஆசைப்பட்டதை வாங்கித் தராட்டி, அடுத்த
ஜென்மத்திலேயும் அவளே பொண்டாட்டியா வருவானு பெரியவங்க சொன்னாங்க.. அதான்,
எதுக்கு வம்புன்னுதான் .. !
மனைவி: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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மனைவி: ஏங்க இறந்து போனதுக்கு அப்புறம் பெண்கள் எல்லாம் சொர்க்கத்துக்கு
போவாங்களாமே? அப்படியா?
கணவன்: அப்படித்தான் சொல்றாங்க..
மனைவி: அப்ப நீங்க எங்கே போவிங்க?
கணவன்: நீங்க எல்லோரும் அங்கே போயிட்டா இங்க எங்களுக்கு சொர்க்கம்தானே?
____________________________
☔☔☔☔☔🙆🙆🙆🙆🙆
☔மழை, 💃மனைவி - இரண்டிற்கும் என்ன ஒற்றுமை???
ரெண்டுமே இல்லாதப்போ எப்ப வரும்ன்னு ஏங்குவோம்..
வந்தா ஏண்டா வந்ததுதுன்னு புலம்புவோம்.
😂😂😂😂
____________________________
மின்சாரம் இல்லாதபோது
ஃப்ரிஜில் இருக்கிற பொருள்களுக்கு
குளிர்விட்டு போயிடுது...!!
😜😜
சம்சாரம் இல்லாதபோது
வீட்டில் இருக்கிற கணவனுக்கு
குளிர்விட்டு போயிடுது,,!
😜😜
---------------------------------
வாய் விட்டு சிரிச்சா நோய் விட்டுப் போகும்
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