Talking to Yourself or talking to your SELF
Talking to oneself is a behaviour that, at first glance, may appear unusual
or even alarming to some. However, upon closer inspection, it becomes clear
that talking to oneself is a natural and beneficial process for many
people. It can take many forms, from verbalizing thoughts aloud to having
an internal dialogue, and it plays a significant role in our mental,
emotional, and cognitive well-being. This essay aims to explore the meaning
of talking to oneself, its psychological and practical functions, and the
reasons behind why individuals engage in this behaviour.
At its core, talking to yourself refers to the act of expressing
thoughts, emotions, or ideas aloud when there is no one else around. This
behaviour is often seen as a form of self-talk, and it can be either silent
(internal dialogue) or vocalized. While the term may initially evoke images
of people speaking to themselves in public or during moments of stress,
self-talk is much more common than it might seem. In fact, it is something
that nearly everyone does to some extent. The key distinction lies in
whether the person is aware of this process and how it is utilized.
Talking to yourself can serve a range of purposes: from organizing
thoughts, calming down, and making decisions, to working through emotions,
reflecting on personal experiences, or even problem-solving. It allows
individuals to process information, clarify their thinking, and strengthen
their cognitive functions. But what makes talking to oneself so meaningful
and valuable?
The Psychological Functions of Self-Talk
Self-talk can be categorized into two main types: positive and
negative.
Positive self-talk involves using affirmations, encouragement, or
solutions-oriented thinking to address challenges or reinforce self-worth.
For example, telling oneself, “I can do this,” or “I am capable” can help
build confidence and overcome obstacles.
In contrast, negative self-talk tends to focus on self-criticism, doubt,
or pessimism, such as saying, “I’ll never be good enough,” or “This is too
hard.” While negative self-talk can sometimes highlight areas for growth or
serve as a catalyst for change, excessive negative self-talk may contribute
to feelings of anxiety, depression, or low self-esteem.
On a deeper level, self-talk plays a role in *cognitive processing* and
executive functioning. Psychologists believe that the process of
verbalizing thoughts enhances problem-solving abilities and improves memory
retention. When we talk things out, we externalize our internal thoughts,
making them easier to analyse. This is why people often find that speaking
aloud helps them understand difficult concepts or come to decisions more
effectively. Additionally, research has shown that self-directed speech can
enhance performance in tasks that require attention or focus, such as
studying or navigating a complex situation.
Self-talk is also essential for emotional regulation. When someone is
upset, anxious, or angry, talking to oneself can help process those
emotions and gain a sense of control. For instance, by calmly repeating
statements like “I can handle this,” individuals may be able to soothe
their emotions and reduce stress levels. This is why people often find
themselves talking to themselves in high-pressure situations, such as
before a big presentation or during a moment of anxiety.
Beyond the immediate psychological functions, self-talk can also play
a significant role in personal growth and self-awareness. Talking to
oneself can serve as a form of self-reflection, where individuals review
their actions, assess their goals, and evaluate their progress. By engaging
in regular self-reflection through dialogue, one can better understand
personal motivations, strengths, and areas for improvement. Self-talk also
promotes a sense of autonomy, as individuals take ownership of their
thoughts and feelings. This is particularly important in the development of
emotional intelligence and resilience.
Self-talk is also associated with mindfulness practices. By speaking
to oneself in the present moment, people can become more attuned to their
thoughts, emotions, and surroundings. This awareness can help individuals
make conscious choices, rather than acting impulsively or on autopilot.
Furthermore, cultivating a mindful approach to self-talk can foster a
positive and non-judgmental attitude toward oneself, allowing individuals
to accept their flaws and progress without excessive self-criticism.
*Why Do People Talk to Themselves?*
There are several reasons why people talk to themselves. One common
reason is problem-solving. When faced with a challenging situation,
individuals may verbalize their thoughts to clarify their options, weigh
the pros and cons, and decide on a course of action. This can be especially
helpful in scenarios that require quick thinking or decision-making. Talking
to oneself can provide a structured way to break down complex issues and
explore solutions.
Another reason people engage in self-talk is for emotional
support. During difficult times, individuals may use self-talk to comfort
themselves, reduce anxiety, or stay focused on their goals. By offering
words of reassurance or understanding, people can create a supportive
internal environment, which fosters resilience and coping strategies.
Talking to oneself can also act as a form of self-companionship, reducing
feelings of loneliness or isolation, especially when no one else is present
to offer support.
Additionally, some individuals engage in self-talk as a way to
maintain focus. Athletes, for example, are known to use verbal cues or
phrases to stay mentally engaged during high-stakes moments. Phrases like
“stay strong,” “keep pushing,” or “focus” help athletes maintain their
performance levels, block out distractions, and stay in the present moment.
This same approach is often seen in other high-pressure scenarios, such as
during exams or presentations.
*Talking to oneself is more than just an eccentric habit*—it serves a
fundamental role in our psychological and cognitive processes. Through
self-talk, we are able to make sense of our thoughts, regulate our
emotions, solve problems, and engage in self-reflection. While it may seem
unusual to some, self-talk is a powerful tool for personal growth and
mental well-being. Whether it’s in the form of internal dialogue or spoken
aloud, talking to oneself is a natural and essential aspect of the human
experience, one that helps us navigate life’s challenges with clarity,
confidence, and insight.
Thus, far from being a sign of instability, talking to oneself is an
expression of cognitive and emotional intelligence, a method through which
individuals process their world and their place within it.
NB: self-talk is also attributed by avivekis as words of madcap.
II In Vedic scriptures
In the Vedas, the concept of "self-talk" is closely linked to the idea
of "Atman" (the soul or true self), where the focus is on introspection and
contemplating one's inner nature through practices like "Svādhyāya" which
translates to "self-study" or "study of one's own self" - essentially
engaging in internal dialogue to understand the deeper reality beyond the
physical body and mind; this is seen as a path towards spiritual
liberation.
The Vedas emphasize the Atman as the core of our being, a pure
consciousness that exists beyond the limitations of the physical world.
This practice involves deep reflection, meditation, and studying the
scriptures to gain self-knowledge and understand the nature of the Atman.
(svadhyaya)
By engaging in self-talk, one can observe their thoughts, emotions, and
desires to identify patterns and ultimately transcend the limitations of
the ego.
The Vedas often use metaphors and imagery to describe the Atman as a part
of the universal consciousness, leading to a sense of oneness with the
divine through self-reflection.
According to the Vedas, there are four degrees of human speech. As
the information age gathers momentum, the most primitive level–the spoken
and written word–is drowning out the higher, more subtle tongues. The
result? Confusion, cynicism, and a flat, homogenized view of the world.
Many of us who love Ganesha, the roly-poly remover of obstacles, recite the
Ganapati Atharva Shirsha Upanishad daily, invoking his blessings as we seek
unwavering awareness (Atharva shirsha means “unwavering head”). Early in
this text appears the vow ritam vachmi, satyam vachmi, which expresses our
determination to speak words that will strengthen both ritam (cosmic truth
and order) and satyam (worldly, human truth). Shortly after we make these
promises there follows a clarifying declaration: Tvam chatvari vak padani
(Thou art the very syllables of the four varieties of speech).
Unpacked from its upanishadic terseness, the message is clear: In my
pursuit of steadfast consciousness, O Lord, I shall endeavor always to
speak words that are both relatively and absolutely true, using as many of
the four categories of speech as I am fluent in. Aid me in my resolve!
Ekam sat, vipra bahudha vadanti, a Vedic proverb tells us: Truth is One;
the wise express it in many ways.
The prayer’s author was a rishi (a wise, God-intoxicated seer who served as
a vessel for reality, a conduit through which truth could flow). Each rishi
“saw” reality from a unique perspective; each spoke an inimitable truth.
Ekam sat, vipra bahudha vadanti, a Vedic proverb tells us: Truth is One;
the wise express it in many ways. Each rishi ushered universal truths into
particularity by spontaneously condensing ritam (cosmic truth) and satyam
(worldly truth) into hymns. Quivering with ecstasy, shaking with exaltation
and realization, vibrating to the tune of the music of the spheres, these
vipras (those who tremble) expressed truth in the four “tongues” that are
the four degrees of human speech: vaikhari, madhyama, pashyanti, and para.
Each degree of speech embodies a different kind of perception; each
transmits a different reality. Vaikhari, which is ordinary verbal speech,
the kind we all hear and use daily, is an expression of kriya shakti, the
power of action. You speak in vaikhari when you focus on deeds past,
present activities, exploits to come.
Madhyama is mental speech, verbalized but unspoken, the internal monologue
and dialogue; it expresses jñana shakti, the power of knowledge and wisdom
(or lack thereof). Madhyama measures, evaluates, questions, harnessing your
rational and emotional minds to formulate the intentions that precipitate
into words.
Pashyanti, single-minded speech, is perceptible but not particularized. It
is the vehicle for iccha shakti, the power of desire. When you speak at the
pashyanti level, you are sure of your message; your intentions (selfish or
altruistic) are always clear.
Para is pure intention—pure because it is a direct expression of the will
of reality, unadulterated by any personal preference. Para is the power of
ambika shakti, the supreme Mother Goddess, speech that flows directly from
the cosmic creatrix. Abhinavagupta, the great genius of a thousand years
back, eulogizes para as the form of speech that displays absolutely no
thought of this, thus, here, or now. vPara (which means, literally,
“beyond”) is beyond all objects, of any sort, motionless, eternally
equipoised, so subtle that it is commonly perceptible only to those who are
highly evolved. Pashyanti does not distinguish between subject and object.
Perceptible but not yet particularized, it covers the middle ground between
para’s pure intention and madhyama’s verbalized but as yet unspoken mental
speech. Madhyama is particularized into phonemes, directed to mental
objects, the objects of the inner senses. It straddles the gulf between the
noiseless conviction that is pashyanti and the spoken word that is
vaikhari. Vaikhari, the speech of maya, is physical speech, the outward,
audible manifestation of phonemes that refer to and are directed toward
physical, external sense objects.
Vaikhari lies within the purview of the conscious mind and jagrat
(waking-time consciousness). The subconscious mind uses madhyama in svapna
(dreaming consciousness). Pashyanti represents sushupti (the dreamless
sleep that occurs when the unconscious mind takes over). Succeed at uniting
the conscious mind with the unconscious and subconscious minds and you
create the superconscious mind, whereupon you can go beyond the three
common states of consciousness to reach turiya (the fourth state). Join
vaikhari seamlessly with madhyama and pashyanti and you may gain access to
para, which expresses turiya and other higher states of consciousness.
Knowing this, the rishis in their unbounded compassion created mantras
like the Ganapati Atharva Shirsha to bring our irresolute heads back into
alignment with our hearts and haras. Ganapati means “lord of the ganas,”
and one salient meaning of gana is “sense organ.” Ganesha steadies your
head by bringing your sense organs into line, withdrawing them (pratyahara)
from their unwholesome attachments to external objects, attuning them to
the point at which they value perception of truth more highly than more
conventional gratifications.
One way the Ganapati Atharva Shirsha does this is by helping you to
recall how sacred words can be. The act of speaking was once taken far more
seriously than we take it today. Misuse of speech was regarded as
unfavorably as misuse of body or mind; loose lips, after all, sink ships.
The energy inherent in words of truth is verily creative; speak your
intention clearly and sincerely, in pashyanti or para, and the power in
your words will lead that goal into manifestation. To declare that you will
speak truth can become a self-fulfilling prophecy if you will but speak it
deeply, with attention—which you can best do by speaking it silently, with
intention.
Arrogating to ourselves dominion over all the Earth, we take a
nature that we see as disorderly and strain to mold her into domestication.
Vaikhari science, which limits itself to the external, material world,
seeks guaranteed truth, the certainty of hard physical evidence. Trusting
in analytical logic alone, materialistic science purifies, separates,
isolates, and concentrates, reducing the chaos of the natural world into
unambiguous “thises” and “thats,” defining land by sculpting and exploiting
it, defining species by revising their genetics. And all the while the
narrowed perspective of the vaikhari world’s consensus reality makes it
hard for us to imagine how caribou, chimpanzees, wild herbs, and tropical
forests might have any rights of their own. Conventional science reassures
us that we need not weep for what we have lost, and what we will lose, as
we thus “progress”; our technological gains, we are told, are worth any
environmental price that we might pay as we proceed on our path to the
stars. The voices of the Vedic rishis, though, continue to remind us that
Truth is One; the wise express it in many ways. Listen carefully to the
natural world and you cannot but hear each living species, every inimitable
plant and animal, expressing a unique formulation of truth, a
one-of-its-kind proclamation addressed by wise nature to her beloved
reality, echoing him in his infinite intricacy.
Above all, people habituated to perceive, think, and express their
truth in vaikhari will have to learn eloquence in other levels of speech.
Vaikhari spirituality, however beguiling at the outset, leads ultimately to
dead ends, for only those words that are spoken in madhyama and pashyanti
(and para) as well can illuminate both satyam and ritam. Only such creative
words are worthy of being said; only they can give life. Vedic mantras
yield their deepest secrets only when spoken simultaneously in each of the
four speeches. To sing Vedic hymns rightly you must master the
pronunciation, inflection, and melody of the words (vaikhari), sing those
words with all the erudition and passion that your heart can muster
(madhyama), concentrate all the prana (life-force) at your disposal into a
single-minded vision of your message (pashyanti), and surrender wholly to
reality as you speak, so that truth is all you convey (para). The word
pashyanti derives from a Sanskrit root that means “to see.” Pashyanti
allows you to eyeball your world, to measure it accurately at a glance with
your darshana, which is both your sight (what your outer eyes see) and your
philosophy (what your inner eyes perceive). In pashyanti, seeing is
believing, literally. When you become so aligned with reality that you can
look out on the world and “see,” discerning reality clearly without
intervening rationality and sentiment, then you can be confident of your
pash-yanti-speaking ability. Go beyond even the personal need to see what
you are saying, and you reach para.
Thus, self-taking is a modern energy psychologically. And at the same
time, you are talking to your SELF atma, and therefore, purifying your
Gunas; other than these, self-talking is also the madness unknown to many.
K Rajaram IRS 20225
On Thu, 20 Feb 2025 at 04:16, Jambunathan Iyer <[email protected]>
wrote:
> Talk to yourself
>
> Look in the mirror, look at yourself, and talk. Talk to yourself about
> your day, about the ups and downs, what you wished to change, what you will
> do differently tomorrow, and the likes. Slowly, your interactions with
> others will also be more confident.
>
> N Jambunathan Rengarajapuram-Kodambakkam-Chennai-Mob:9176159004
>
> *" What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you
> become by achieving your goals. If you want to live a happy life, tie it to
> a goal, not to people or things "*
>
>
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