Vedas do not deny family life and duty. In fact, they are deeply
intertwined with the concepts of dharma and family responsibilities. The
Vedas, and the broader Hindu tradition, view family life as a central
aspect of living a fulfilling life, with specific duties and expectations
for each member.
Vedic Emphasis on Family: The Vedas describe rituals and ceremonies related
to birth, marriage, and death, highlighting the importance of family life
within the Vedic context.
Varnas and Dharma: The Varna system, a social structure within Hinduism,
assigns roles and responsibilities to different groups, including family
life and household duties.
Family as a Path to Spiritual Growth: While the path of sannyasa
(renunciation) is also recognized, many traditions emphasize that spiritual
merit can be attained by fulfilling family duties and responsibilities.
Legal and Social Frameworks: Hindu law and customs also provide a framework
for family life, addressing issues like marriage, property inheritance, and
divorce.
Importance of Marriage: Marriage is considered a sacrament, a holy union,
and a fundamental part of a person's journey through life, according to
ijrpr.com.
Social Hierarchy: The concept of a social hierarchy within families, with
men often making key decisions while women also have significant influence,
is also reflected in Vedic texts and practices.
II Family life according to the Matsya Purāṇa
The bearer and carrier of culture is man and man is a social animal
so it can be said otherwise that society and culture are defined separately
but complementary to each other. Society is an organized group of
individuals that consists of a set of lifestyles as well as social
relations and the sum of human beings and the relationship between them.
And culture is the way of life or relationships of individuals in a society
that is naturally passed down from one generation to the next. In this way
socio-culture and individual are intertwined. It is very important to know
the social structure in order to know about this subject of society and
culture. Social structure is the structure of society. The family comes
first in the context of the concept of social structure.
Several chapters in the Matsya Purāṇa describe about the family.
Family is an important part of society. The family is a special place of
peace and security for the individual. The family is a social organization.
That organization consists of different relationships such as husband-wife,
son-daughters, parents etc. The individual values of these relationships
have been described in different chapters of the Matsya Purāṇa .
In the description of the Tripura fort of Mayadānava in the
chapter 131st. It is said that all the demons lived happily in Tripura with
their families, i.e. wives and children.[1] That is a person’s family would
be filled only by his wife and children, and the reason for happiness was
also that family. This chapter also mentions the religion of their service
to individuals. It is said that their sons served fathers and wives served
husbands.[2] The 100th chapter speaks of the Vibhūtidvādaśī vows.
There is a story about king Puśpavāhana and his wife Lāvanyavati
. This chapter deals with wife’s duty and the sweet relationship between
husband and wife. There is a story of how much king Puśpavāhana loved his
wife and how much king loved his wife in the previous birth.[3] Although
there was no one in the previous birth, his wife did not leave him, but
remained with her husband equally in every misery, duty and iniquity,
startvation.[4] This sacred pattern of husband and wife’s duty is an
important example of building a good family. It has been said that having a
good husband is a sign of a wife’s good fortune. But not only a wife but
also a good wife is a matter of good fortune for a man. Because a woman is
the source of happiness in this world and the hereafter for her patriarch
and husband.[5] Regarding the relationship between husband and wife, it has
been said that no matter how poor, foolish, unlucky a husband may be, he
will always be the absolute deity of the wife.[6] The same thing is said in
chapter 210. There it is said that the absolute god of the wife is husband.
The husband gives them shelter so the wives need to follow the husband. The
father and son give moderate property but the husband is the only one who
gives the wives immeasurable property. That is why wives should always
worship their husbands.[7] The complete joy of a wife’s life, happiness
depends on her husband. The wife cannot enjoy any property independently,
and only her husband has the right to everything.[8] Not only the duty of
the wife but also some rules of punishing the wife have been written in the
Purāṇa . For example, if a wife is proud of the strength of her relatives
and does not fulfill her responsibility to her husband, the king will leave
her in a place surrounded by many people.[9] The husband can punish the
wife by hitting her with a rope or bamboo stick, but not on the head and
back of the wife. If that happen then it would be a crime as steal of the
husband.[10] In the Matsya Purāṇa the sweet relationship between husband
and wife is also highlighted in the form of an ant couple. In the 20th
chapter, in the context of the story of king Brahmadatta and his wife
Sannati, the ant couple is mentioned. There it is shown how the male ants
described the form for the disfigurement of his wife.[11] The husband also
described how satisfied and pleased he was with his wife’s duty.[12] There
is a beautiful picture of how the wife is arguing with her husband by
expressing her pride.[13] Finally, there is a beautiful description of how
the husband is pleasing her by humiliating her.[14] From all these
descriptions it is clear that in the family there should be a sweet
relationship between husband and wife with love quarrel, value-pride. There
will be discipline as there will be love in the relationship. There will be
quarrels and disputes and there will be reconciliation. The assembly of all
these sweet features is found in the descriptions of the Purāṇas . This
pattern is very important in the context of the present time.
The family consists not only of husband and wife but also of
children. Now let us see what features are described in the Purāṇas about
the son and the Father. The Matsya Purāṇa depicts the amicable relationship
between father and son. In the Tripura city of Maya demon, the sons were
always obedient and respected to his father.[15] Bṛhaspati’s son Koch was
so obedient and respected to his father that he voluntarily went to
Śukrācārya , the enemy of the gods, without fear of his own death.[16]
Satyavāna , a dutiful and obedient son, used to leave the palace and live
in the forest with his father out of respect and love for his father.
Although that life was very difficult for him.[17] Puru accepted his
father’s old age and gave his youth to his father, obeying his father’s
orders.[18] Chapter 21 contains the story of Brahmadatta and the four
Cakravākas . There is a record of the birth of four sons in the house of a
poor Brahmin of four Cakravākas . This account shows how the four
Cakravākas acquired property to their father, from king Brahmadatta and
went to do austerities themselves. [19] We also get the example of some
disobedient sons who suffer all their lives for disobeying their father.
When Yayāti grows old under the curse of the demon’s guru Śukrācārya , king
Yayāti begs for youth from his children to fulfill the desire of his youth.
But Devayāni ’s son Yadu and Turvasu refuse to give youth and get the curse
of the father similarly Śarmisthā’s son Druhya and Anu also refused to give
youth to their father and get curse from Yayāti . But when Puru agrees to
donate his youth to his father, king Yayāti is satisfied and rewards
him.[20] Yakṣa Pūrnabhadrā evicted his son Harikesha from his home. The son
named Harikesha who was born in the house of Yakṣa Pūrṇabhadra used to
worship Mahādeva without following the rules of Yakṣā , and lived like a
Brahmin. Angered by this, father Pūrṇabhadra evicted his son Harikesha from
the house.[21] From these signs it is clear that the fathers had complete
authority over the son and expected obedience from him and considered it
advisable to punish him if it did not work.
In the Purāṇa the son has been given much more dignity than
daughter. Everyone gave more importance to having a son as there would be
relief from hell in having a son as there would be relief from hell in
having a son.[22] Even many sons were desired, so that the salvation of the
ancestors could be achieved by at least one of them through Gayāyātra,
Kanyadāna and Taurus sacrifice.[23] verse 512 of the chapter 154 says that
one son is equal to ten lakes. Everyone practiced austerities for the sake
of having a son. For example, king Anuha of Pāñcāla country performed
austerities on Lord Nārāyaṇa for the purpose of having a son.[24] On the
other hand, Vajrānga did austerities to Lord Brahma for the purpose of
having a son who would defeat the gods and win[25], or would be the mourner
of his wife Barāngi .[26] When king Ūrva decided to do austerities without
having children, the Brahmins suggested him to have a son to protect his
dynasty.[27] When king Bharata did yajña of Marutsoma for the purpose of
having a son, the Marutas handed over the infant son Bharadvāja , abandoned
by his parents, to Bharata .[28] From all the patterns discussed it is
clear that sons are held in high-esteem in society. He is for the sake of
genealogy. The son holds the lineage. The son has been determined as the
cause of all welfare and well-being.
Mother and father have the highest place in society. However, along
with the parents, the Guru is also absolutely revered. The Guru was
considered as the Acārya , the father as the Prajāpati , the mother as the
earth (Pṛthivī) and the brother as the soul.[29] Therefore, man should
never insult the father, mother and guru because man attains heaven by
taking care of austerities celibacy, fire and the guru.[30] The debt that
mothers and fathers endure at birth cannot be repaid even in hundreds and
millions of years.[31] That is why human beings should always do the
favorite deeds of parents and gurus. Because only when these three are
satisfied, all austerities are completed.[32] These three are the three
Lokas, three Āśramas , three Vedas and three Agnis .[33] The father is
Gārhapatya Agni , the mother is Dakṣinagni and the Guru is Āhavanīya Agni
.[34] If you take care of your mother, you will get heaven, if you take
care of your father, you will get the middle world (Madhyaloka ), and if
you take care of your guru, you will get Brahmaloka .[35] They should not
be abandoned even if their parents have fallen. But if someone does this,
there is a rule to give him 600 gold coins.[36] Other elders can be
abandoned if they fall, but the mother cannot be abandoned if she falls.
The mother’s glory is considered above the elders for conceiving during
pregnancy.[37]
Matsya Purāṇa depicts a beautiful relationship between
mother-in-law, father-in-law and daughter in law. Sāvitri served her mother
and father in-law well enough. The tried to give them all kinds of
benefits. And when Yamarāja was pleased with Sāvitri and wanted to give her
a blessed, he wanted the vision and kingdom back of his father-in-law.[38]
In the Matsya Purāṇa we see several examples of the relationship of
a daughter with their parents. Just as there are examples of wise and
loving daughters, there are also example of ignorant and grumpy daughter.
In the 32ndchapter, where Devayanī angrily hits Śarmiṣṭhā , on the other
hand, Śarmiṣṭhā shows respect to Devayānī without sacrificing her duty and
dignity even after the injury. The daughters kept the honor and command of
the father. Daughters could give up everything for the sake of their
father. Jayanti is the daughter of Indra. Fearing Śukrācārya’s austerities,
Devarāja Indra surrendered his daughter to Śukrācārya and Jayanti also went
to Śukrācārya on the advice of his father and married him.[39] Although the
relationship between father and daughter is sweet, the Purāṇa says that if
the daughter comes to her father without informing the husband, the father
will not give shelter to his daughter in his house. An example of this is
found in the chapter eleven. Unable to bear the heat of the Sūrya devatā ,
Devī Sañjā goes to her father without informing her husband, but her father
Tvaṣṭa does not give her shelter.[40] However, it is also true that this
Purāṇa also depicts the father’s worried for the well-being of his
daughter. In the face Himālaya worried to hear about Umā ’s future from
Devarṣi Nārada .[41] Mother Menā (Menakā) also became desperate to know
about the welfare of her daughter from Devarṣi Nārada .[42] Although all
these examples are Purāṇaic , they have similarities with real life. Even
now, the parents are always anxious about their daughter’s life and her
future. Just as the marriage of a daughter is an absolute joy to the
parents, so it is very difficult too for the parents to leave the house of
the daughter’s father and go to the house of the husband. All these
feelings are depicted in different chapter of the Purāṇa .{ref:[1]:Matsya
Purāṇa–Chapter 131/2[2]:Matsya Purāṇa–Chapter 131/12[3]:Matsya
Purāṇa–Chapter 100/6[4]:Matsya Purāṇa–Chapter 100/13[5]:Matsya
Purāṇa–Chapter 154/163[6]:Matsya Purāṇa–Chapter 154/1667]:Matsya
Purāṇa–Chapter 210/17, 18[8]:Matsya Purāṇa–Chapter 31/22[9]:Matsya
Purāṇa–Chapter 227/132[10]:Matsya Purāṇa–Chapter 227/153, 154[11]:Matsya
Purāṇa–Chapter 20/30, 31[12]:Matsya Purāṇa–Chapter 20/32[13]:Matsya
Purāṇa–Chapter 20/3[14]:Matsya Purāṇa–Chapter 20/35, 36[15]:Matsya
Purāṇa–Chapter 131/12[16]:Matsya Purāṇa–Chapter 25/14[17]:Matsya
Purāṇa–Chapter 25/14[18]:Matsya Purāṇa–Chapter 208/16[19]:Matsya
Purāṇa–Chapter33/28[20]:Matsya Purāṇa–Chapter21/7, 8[21]:Matsya
Purāṇa–Chapter 180/1422]:Matsya Purāṇa–Chapter 154/155[23]:Matsya
Purāṇa–Chapter 207/39 40[24]:Matsya Purāṇa–Chapter 22/11[25]:Matsya
Purāṇa–Chapter 147/1526]:Matsya Purāṇa–Chapter 147/2[27]:Matsya
Purāṇa–Chapter 175/30[28]:Matsya Purāṇa–Chapter 49/27[29]:Matsya
Purāṇa–Chapter 211/21[30]:Matsya Purāṇa–Chapter 211/22[31]:Cultural History
>From The Matsya Purāṇa, Chapter–3[32]:Matsya Purāṇa–Chapter
211/2333]:Matsya Purāṇa–Chapter 211/2534]:Matsya Purāṇa–Chapter
211/26[35]:Matsya Purāṇa–Chapter 210/11[36]:Matsya Purāṇa–Chapter
227/14[37]:Matsya Purāṇa–Chapter 227/150[38]:Matsya Purāṇa–Chapter
210/2339]:Matsya Purāṇa–Chapter 47/11440]:Matsya Purāṇa–Chapter
11/12[41]:Matsya Purāṇa–Chapter 154/146, 147[42]:Matsya Purāṇa–Chapter
154/143.
Rig vedam says
Rig Veda 9.112.3
कारुरहं ततो भिषगुपलप्रक्षिणी नना । नानाधियो वसूयवोऽनु गा इव
तस्थिमेन्द्रायेन्दो परि स्रव ॥
kārur ahaṃ tato bhiṣag upalaprakṣiṇī nanā | nānādhiyo vasūyavo 'nu gā iva
tasthimendrāyendo pari srava ||
“I am the singer; papa is the physician, mamma throws the corn upon the
grinding stones; having various occupations, desiring riches we remain (in
the world) like cattle (in the stall); flow, Indu, for Indra.”
Commentary by Sāyaṇa: Ṛgveda-bhāṣya
The singeṛ..papa...mamma: kāruḥ = maker of praises; 'maker', 'poet'; tataḥ
and nānā mean father (dada) and mother; or son and daughter respectively.
K RAJARAM IRS 22525
On Thu, 22 May 2025 at 05:57, Jambunathan Iyer <[email protected]>
wrote:
> *Attachment feels like love, but it’s a ghost in disguise. We cling, we
> possess, we obsess—and call it affection. *
>
> *Lord Krishna in Gita warns and advises the same as: desire leads to
> attachment, attachment breeds fear, and fear gives rise to suffering.*
>
> Jembunathan Rengarapuram-Kodambakkam-Chennai-Mob:9176159004
>
> *" What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you
> become by achieving your goals. If you want to live a happy life, tie it to
> a goal, not to people or things "*
>
>
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