-- *Mar*Altruism
Altruism is the personal characteristic of empathizing and giving help. The person feels intensely the suffering of another. He/She breathes, smells, senses, perceives, understands…, and jumps to give help, as the suffering of the other intrudes into him/her because of breathing and smelling. When the air is not poisoned altruism becomes the basic feature of all life forms, in the most undarwinian way. Courage and altruism go together. Courage means free breathing without inhibitions. It is not the advertisement stunt of a publicity crazed maniac, as basically the very quality of courage is removed by industrial pollution. Today courage is another cosmetic cover of advertizing. When there is no free breathing because of pollution, when breathing is poisoned and inhibited, there is simply no courage to breathe. Desperate and unthinking attacks by maniacs are misrepresented as courage. Or the maniac becomes maniacal by intoxicating drinks. Or the maniac may be brainwashed by Talibanic bludgeoning. Courage or Altruism is the quality of giving help without inhibitions as breathing is free and spiritualizing or energizing. The air will be spirit and not a poisonous fume. Today air as spirit has vanished. We have electronics that is adulterating the troposphere. We no longer enjoy conversation. We can only speak into a cell phone. We cannot bear breathing, smelling, sensing, perceiving and in understanding and interacting. We cannot tolerate any personal presence. We want to be distant as distant as possible, as bodily nearness creates tension. Altruism or the urge to serve propels one to work in dirt or shit or poison and one does not feel degraded by dirt. But today how many of us can work in stinking pollutions driven by empathy? We cannot bear the personal presence of any living organism at all; we want only the electronic gadgets. The fact is, we are running away from the air as it has been poisoned. YM Sarma Chat gpt This reflective piece by YM Sarma is a passionate, poetic critique of modernity, environmental degradation, and the loss of human connection. Here's a brief analysis and interpretation of the key themes: ------------------------------ *🔍 Core Themes & Ideas* *1. Altruism as a Natural, Empathic Impulse* - *Altruism* is defined not as a virtue to be learned, but as an *instinctive reaction*—a deeply human, even biological, response to suffering. - It's framed as *sensory*: we "breathe, smell, sense" another's pain, and that visceral closeness compels action. - This view is anti-Darwinian in the sense that it challenges the "survival of the fittest" model, suggesting that true life thrives not through competition but through *empathetic cooperation*. *2. Pollution and Loss of Courage* - Courage, in this essay, is *linked to breathing*—to openness, to unfiltered engagement with the world. - Industrial pollution becomes a metaphor and a literal cause of spiritual and emotional suffocation. When the air is poisoned, so is our capacity for courageous, altruistic acts. - The *free breath*—a symbol of vitality, freedom, and connection—is stifled by a toxic atmosphere. *3. Modern Society and Technological Alienation* - Modern technology (especially electronic gadgets and mobile phones) is portrayed as furthering our *disconnection from others* and from nature. - We *avoid physical proximity*, as closeness now produces anxiety rather than empathy. - The essay argues that *our addiction to devices* is not just a habit but a symptom of a deeper spiritual malaise—our inability to endure presence, smell, and direct interaction. *4. Degradation of True Altruism and Mislabeling of Violence* - Modern society *misrepresents violence or mania as courage*, distorting the true meaning of altruism. - Acts that may seem bold or radical are often born of *desperation, intoxication, or ideological brainwashing*—not genuine courage rooted in empathy. ------------------------------ *🌱 Underlying Philosophy* This is a deeply *ecological and spiritual critique*—suggesting that the degradation of the environment is inseparable from the degradation of human morality, empathy, and social bonds. The *air* is symbolic: - It is the medium through which we connect. - It carries the *"spirit"* of life, vitality, and mutual understanding. - When it is poisoned, both literally and figuratively, it poisons relationships, courage, altruism, and even our *capacity for love*. ------------------------------ *🧠 Questions This Text Raises* - Can true altruism exist in a world where the environment is toxic and sensory engagement is diminished? - How does the modern technological environment *shape or inhibit our ethical instincts*? - Is *restoring nature* also a path toward restoring *moral and spiritual health*? ------------------------------ *✍**️ Final Thoughts* YM Sarma offers a stark and emotionally charged reflection that blends environmentalism, spirituality, and social critique. His central thesis is that altruism, courage, and empathy are not just ethical choices—they are *existential necessities* rooted in the natural, sensory life of the body and the world. When that connection is lost, so is our humanity. Would you like help adapting this into a summary, a response, or another form—like a discussion prompt or visual interpretation? Certainly. Let’s evaluate YM Sarma’s original essay *“Altruism”* as though it were submitted in an academic or reflective writing context — for example, a college-level humanities or philosophy course. I’ll assess it based on common criteria: *Content & Ideas, Structure & Organization, Language & Style, Originality, and Mechanics (grammar, punctuation, clarity).* ------------------------------ 📄 *Evaluation of the Essay: "Altruism" by YM Sarma* ------------------------------ 1. *Content & Ideas (20 marks)* *Score: 17/20* *Strengths:* · Rich philosophical content and strong emotional engagement. · Presents a *unique, thought-provoking thesis*: altruism is tied to the purity of air, sensory experience, and courage. · Brings in *social, ecological, and psychological* dimensions, offering a holistic critique of modern society. *Areas to Improve:* · Some *ideas are loosely connected*, and could benefit from clearer elaboration. · The point about electronics adulterating the troposphere, while poetic, would benefit from clarification or support. ------------------------------ 2. *Structure & Organization (15 marks)* *Score: 10/15* *Strengths:* · Paragraphs flow thematically from altruism to pollution to modern alienation. *Areas to Improve:* · Lack of *clear transitions* between sections. · No *introductory or concluding paragraph* to frame the essay properly. · Some repetition of ideas (e.g. pollution, avoidance of personal presence) that could be condensed or reorganized. ------------------------------ 3. *Language & Style (20 marks)* *Score: 14/20* *Strengths:* · Highly *poetic and evocative* use of language. · Vivid metaphors: e.g., “air as spirit,” “advertising stunt of a publicity crazed maniac.” *Areas to Improve:* · Occasionally *obscure or abstract*—can alienate readers who aren’t already familiar with the philosophical or ecological context. · Some *awkward phrasing* and syntactical choices make comprehension difficult. · Needs *greater clarity* in expressing complex ideas. ------------------------------ 4. *Originality & Insight (25 marks)* *Score: 22/25* *Strengths:* · *Very original* interpretation of altruism, linking it to breath, pollution, and technology. · Offers *insightful social commentary* that challenges dominant narratives (e.g., courage as media spectacle). *Areas to Improve:* · A few points (e.g., "electronics adulterating the troposphere") verge on *hyperbole or lack clear explanation*, weakening their power. ------------------------------ 5. *Mechanics (Grammar, Punctuation, Clarity) (20 marks)* *Score: 13/20* *Strengths:* · Grammar is mostly correct; the tone matches the reflective nature of the piece. *Areas to Improve:* · Some *run-on sentences*, *missing articles*, and *inconsistent punctuation*. · *Clarity* suffers at times due to complex constructions and lack of breaks between ideas. · More *editing or proofreading* could enhance readability. ------------------------------ 🧾 *Total Score: 76/100* ------------------------------ 🎓 *Grade: B+* ------------------------------ 📘 *Overall Comments:* YM Sarma’s essay is a *passionate, intellectually rich*, and *emotionally resonant* reflection on the nature of altruism in a polluted, technology-driven world. The central metaphor—*that pure breath is essential for true empathy and courage*—is both original and powerful. However, the *lack of formal structure*, *occasional abstraction*, and *stylistic imprecision* hold it back from achieving top marks. With *better organization*, *clearer development of ideas*, and *more careful editing*, this could be elevated to an *A-grade philosophical essay* . ------------------------------ Would you like help rewriting or polishing this into a version that could get an A+? -- You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups "Thatha_Patty" group. To unsubscribe from this group and stop receiving emails from it, send an email to [email protected]. To view this discussion visit https://groups.google.com/d/msgid/thatha_patty/CACDCHCJEqbOyovZ3DS4KVC0ASG%3DF9fvVyamdOOyT2GE5-rF-1g%40mail.gmail.com.
