|
Louis and Jamie
entered into the whorehouse.
"Monsieur De Pointe du Lac," Big Sally said cheerfully, hurrying
to him. Her apparel clean from the grisly operation she performed
moments ago.
She stopped before any more words of greeting fell out of her
mouth.
Monsieur De Pointe du Lac looks as if he has the malaria, she
thought with a stiff smile on her face, or he may have consumption.
She recovered her aplomb, waving her arm about, "Monsieur, no one
is occupying your room as of yet. Are you expecting someone? Did you
forgot to tell me about your rendezvous?"
The young man and myself shall use it tonight," Louis said
calmly, ignoring the sullen look on Jamie's face.
"Well who would have thought it?" Big Sally said with pleased
astonishment, "Take yourselves upstairs then."
She couldn't help but give Jamie a hearty slap on his butt,
whispering in his ear, "Lookie here my boy, my cut is sixty percent,
and none of your whining. Don't I put a roof over your head, not to
mention all the grubs you can eat? Don't be cheating on your old
friend, I shall frisk you myself inside and out after he's done with
you for my part if I think you be cheating on me."
"There is no need to frisk him," Louis said coldly, having
overheard her, "I'll pay you now for the use of the room."
He slipped the excited madam a more than generous payment. She
was beside herself, thinking about the others who would be soon
seeking Jamie out once word got around he was in the trade.
"Madam," Louis sighed, having read her every thought, "I will pay
you extra on the condition. Jamie is my," Louis blushed, displeased
at the vulgarity of the words he was forced to say, "As long as
Jamie is for my use only."
"Oui, Monsieur, oui," she cried in her thickly accented Irish.
Every word out of her mouth was a butchery of the musical quality of
both her own Irish tongue and her French adopted language.
Scooping up the coins, she burrowed them deeply in her pocket.
Louis led Jamie up to the room, shutting the door behind them.
Louis placed his hands behind his back. "Would you like to take a
seat, please?"
"Where there is no chair?" Jamie said resentfully, " I will not
get on that bed."
"I don't blame you," Louis said, his lips smiling blandly, not
betraying the aggravation he felt for his past behavior.
Louis cleared his throat, pondering over the significance of each
word contained in the little speech he mentally prepared before
hand, "Jamie, my father had, he perhaps, my father was not unbiased
in his decision for you to be treated as if you had no claim to de
Pointe du Lac blood in your veins. I would like to make amends for
my father's mistaken assumption of your lack of blood line."
Why not make amends for your putting me up for sale?" Jamie
cried, his face feeling hot and red, "Please leave Louis. Whoever
you now are, or whatever you are, please leave me alone. I want
nothing to do with you."
"What do you mean whatever, whoever I am?" Louis said
suspiciously.
I can tell you're not alive in the same sense as I am alive,
because I believe what my eyes and instincts tell me about you. I
have faith in you being a ghost of some sorts."
"Ah, you are confused as Paul was once, I suppose, confused.
Paul's grasp of reality too was none too tight either. Non, Jamie I
am not a ghost of some sorts, and if I were, you would be wise to
fear me."
Louis smiled gently to take the sting out of his words, "Now
enough of this voodoo nonsense. Tell me. Do other's like yourself at
Pointe du Lac say the same thing about me?"
"How would I know? They might talk. But they will convince
themselves as much as they can not to believe it. What else can they
do.? You have them all trapped. They would go to pieces with fear if
they admitted to themselves what their master is. We're not as
simple as you suppose us to be, Monsieur De Pointe du Lac. We
coloreds are well aware of the magical side of life.. We have a
belief in the monsters that we see everyday."
"They are mistaken about me, as you are too" Louis said sternly,
blushing. "This belief in the supernatural is the very thing which
caused Paul's mental condition to deteriorate I am here out of
respect for my uncle, my father's brother, your supposed father,
Alexandre. Out of love and sympathy for Alexandre's memory I am
determined to rectify the possible mistake my father more than
likely made against you."
Louis walked over to the bed, sitting upon it. "I do not wish to
criticize my father, nor will I. What has been done is done. For
myself, Jamie, I wish to apologize for how I mistreated you. I was
intoxicated, which is no excuse for my taking out my temper and
grief out on you. I tried to avenge you for how you and Paul was
dishonored by inviting anyone to kill me after I set you free."
"What dishonor did you do to me? Animals like myself are sold
everyday. You didn't think any thing at all about what you did to
me. You're doing this, not for me, not for my father, but for Paul,"
Jamie said shivering with anger and emotional pain.
Non, this is for your father, to honor the wish he had that we
treat you as his son should have been treated. I will have a deed
written up for you Jamie for land. Enough land for a small farm. I
will buy you the slaves, the equipment, and seed you will need to
start with. If you bring in a successful crop I will use my
influence to insure you a fair profit. I will also loan you the
money for you to buy more land, but only if you are successful."
"I have no wish to be a planter," Jamie said, "I wish to be a
priest."
Louis stifled a sigh, "Jamie, you," Louis tried to find the least
hurtful words to say, "Jamie, please be sensible and remember your
situation in life. You will be scorned by every seminary you apply
for admittance to. You will only be put in your place. The path you
want to take will only cause you despair, rejection, and heartache.
Instead think of what I am offering to you. Nothing is more valuable
or more lasting to a man than land."
"You think it's too late for me to be a priest because I'm a
seventeen year old boy who neither knows how to read, nor how to
write," Jamie said, fearing to say the words, You think I can't be a
priest because I'm colored. He didn't want to hear the cruelty of
Louis' true unspoken argument, what Louis was implying about his
situation in life, knowing Louis could well be right.
"Jamie," Louis said helplessly.
"I want to learn, please I will pay you back at least a portion
of what it will cost for you to provide a tutor for me."
"I shall provide you with a tutor but not to become a priest!
This is unhealthy! Jamie for you to desire this is destructive You
only want it because it's what Paul wanted."
"I could be put in a parish of freed coloreds, or I could be sent
to a mission up West. I would have sympathy for the red man's native
beliefs. I have my own native customs and beliefs I've learned about
since I have came to New Orleans. I have reconciled my beliefs to
Paul's faith, " Jamie said, trying not too sound too excited,
fearing a flat refusal, "I want to become a surgeon first before I
become priest. In this way I can help the poor in my parish both
spiritually and physically. I can help those who want nothing to do
with my spiritual comfort. With practical kindness I could bring
people to understand that compassion is a reality in the world. If I
can not turn souls to the faith of Paul's Jesus Christ, at least I
could turn souls to experience what God and men are truly supposed
to be all about. Service, duty, and love. Even more than the
forgiveness of sinners; I believe in having compassion and
understanding for why people commit the sins they do. I would make a
fine priest."
Louis felt astonished that words like this were coming out from
Jamie's mouth. Servile Jamie who barely had a word to say for
himself, who never risked publicly giving his opinion. It amazed
Louis and shook his preconceptions of Jamie a little bit.
"You're a childish dreamer," Louis declared, "And did you not
know that it was dreams and fantasies which finally killed Paul?
Non! Not a priest!" Louis said sternly, "No more on this subject.. I
will arrange for a tutor to see you."
"You don't want to imagine, you can't imagine, that I loved and
still love your brother can you?' Jamie said slowly.
"I think out of loneliness the both of you imagined yourselves to
be in love with one another," Louis said deciding to be cruel to
protect Jamie from the misplaced, ruinous devotion he had of Paul,
"Jamie my brother was but a child, a boy. You too are nothing but a
boy. The both of you would have eventually gone your separate ways
as young boys do. You both had superficial, intense, brief, physical
feelings for each other. The kind of feelings which arise between
two inexperienced, terribly, young people. Neither of you were
destined to belonged to each other. It was impossible! Listen to me,
for your own sake forget about Paul except for his being a sweet,
sad memory of your past."
"You think I'm the sort who does not take things as hard as your
kind does. I am taking Paul's death hard," Jamie whispered.
"Time will soften the hardness you feel right now, and make it
into a more mature ache which you will often find yourself
forgetting about while your busy being a someone with someone else.
Someone who is more appropriate and who can give you the happiness
you deserve."
"Your words are so far from the truth. What different reality
from mine do you dwell in?"
"I dwell in the very same reality you dwell in. Find yourself a
boy to be with. Perhaps you were only experimenting with my brother.
Try a woman. You may soon, I trust, find yourself a nice, young,
free colored girl. Think of what I am offering you Jamie. Land which
belongs to no one but you. A place to bring a wife to, a place to
raise your children on. Think Jaime you can pass your land to your
children, and they to their children, I am offering you a chance for
prosperity not only for you, but to those who come after you."
"How can you imagine I can forget Paul?' Jamie said crushed, "You
can't bribe me. You were the last person to talk Paul before he
died. The slaves all think evil spirits killed Paul. What do you
think?"
"I think the slaves are right. It was evil spirits Paul conjured
up in his mind. He died seeing things which wasn't there," Louis
said, hating to talk to Jamie about Paul's death.
"Why can't you believe it was evil spirits? Paul was a very
special person to his God. The enemies of his God killed him."
"Don't speak of such things," Louis said, rasing from the bed,
shivering, thinking of Lestat.
Jamie bowed his head, slowly he said, "If it were spirits. There
is no help for it. What can a man do against spirits? Did he say
anything abut me? Was he angry at me for going to Rodin de Bones for
a love charm? Did, did he blame me like you blamed me?'
"Paul was delirious the night of his death," Louis said smoothly,
looking down at his hands, "Whatever Paul said can not be taken
seriously. You have to go on with your life. I think of my brother
as a child who I thought was merging into manhood. I was wrong. Paul
was immature for his age, his mind and his sensibilities
undeveloped. I should have never bought you two together to, to, to
appease the earthly urges you both had. Maturity, for your sake,
will perhaps cure you of the urges you had for Paul."
"You think I was incapable of being in love with him? That there
was nothing but sex between us? Stop dancing around with fancy
words, be crude, be an honest man. You think that I would have out
grown Paul because a person like me doesn't have the depth do love a
person like Paul. How would you know? Have you ever been in love?
Did you out grow these urges you had for someone?"
"I pray I do someday out grow my urges to care for anyone.
Emotions and urges are more trouble than they are worth to a man,"
Louis said, "Feelings taken too seriously can only unbalance you.
Jamie. I swear to you, that you will have someone else in your life.
I promise you. Be practical in the face of your loss. I will deed
the land in your name in case you change your mind. I will also
arrange for a tutor. You will leave here as soon as I have found a
small house for you. I will send a house servant Yvette to take care
of your needs. You'll be put on an allowance of course."
"I told you I would pay you. And I do not want a house, nor do I
want Yvette. Yvette has family on the plantation it would cause her
sadness to be separated from her two small boys. Why do you always
dismiss what people like myself feel as if we were nothing! Arrange
for a tutor, tell me of the address, and I will go during the day."
Jamie sat on the bed, pulling off his boot. Tied to his calf was an
envelope. Untying the string, Jamie took from the envelope several
bills. "This is for you. For my lessons. I will give you more
later."
"Merci," Louis said surprised, knowing for the sake of Jaime's
pride he must not argue with him.
Louis shook Jamie's hand. He felt a shamed resentment for the
young boy standing across from him who was shaking his hand. He
still could not help but blame Jamie for his involvement in what
happened to Paul.
"Open up, open up I say you dusky moor! I know you are in there,"
yelled a voice. A fist violently pounded on the door.
| 