American
Vampire
(USA, 1997)
Alternative Titles:
An American Vampire Story
Running Time: 139 minutes
Video Certificate:
its a PG-13 in the States
Directed By: Luis Esteban
Starring:
Carmen Electra, Trevor
Lissauer, Deborah Xavier, Adam West, Johnny Venocur
Genre: Comedy/Drama
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In the same Vein:
Fright
Night (1985) Its another 'coming of age film' in which the heroine
won't sleep with the hero and gets seduced by a suave vampire who has just
moved into the neighbourhood.
Tag
lines:
"She's Out for Blood"
"They're
Hungry and They Want You!"
"You're not going
anywhere" Plot: Frankie's (Trevor Lissauer) parents go on vacation to Europe
for the summer, leaving him in charge of the house. All he has to do is
walk the dog Fluffy twice a day and leave the gate open for Nacho the
gardener. Frankie's best friend Bogie has other ideas, and wants Frankie
to throw a huge party. They hang on the beach when they meet a mysterious
stranger called Moondoggie (Johnny Venocur). Bogie lets slip about the
party when Moondoggie mentions he has babes.
Next evening,
Moondoggie arrives on Frankie's doorstep and moves into his parent's
bedroom along with two stunning babes Katrina (Deborah Xavier) and Sulka
(Carmen Electra). Disgusting human servant Bruno takes over the kitchen...
preparing vile meat dishes made from the neighbourhood pets. Moondoggie
seems to have everyone under his spell from Bogie to Dee Dee, Frankie's
girlfriend. Who can Frankie turn to? The answer is the Big Kahuna (Adam
West) formerly known as Dr. Ludwig Van-Helsing-Meister. With the help of
the Big Kahuna how can Frankie loose?
Vampires:
The head Vampire is Count Eric
Von Zipper aka Moondoggie (Johnny Venocur). He is a little greasy man, the
type you would imagine should play a DJ or Bookie. Most of the conventions
hold true, he sleeps in a coffin, bites on the neck uses mind control,
can't go out in sunlight, can morph into a bat and can be exploded by a
stake through the heart. The vampires are evil, no question, referred to
as "bloodsucking freaks." There is some attempt at making the vampires
original in that crosses and garlic don't have any effect even though the
Big Kahuna says they will, however this is never explained. There is also
some intimation that the vampires might be from outerspace... His name is
Moondoggie and he mentions that his friends have to land, however this is
never followed though. The 'Brides of dracula' are also present in the
form of the babes Sulka and Katrina, they seduce and squabble. No surprise
there then.
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Hunters:
Adam
West plays the big Kahuna also known as Ludwig Van-Helsing-Meister
(Bram stoker apparently dropped the Meister because it didn't trip
off the tongue). He is an immature surfer dude who feels its his
destiny to slay vampires... eh? yeah right? Oh Dear, Oh Dear, Oh
Dear... how the mighty are fallen! Terrible acting and an even worse
character. Does have some of the best lines though.
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Dee Dee (Daisy Tormé) is Frankie's girlfriend who
refuses to go all the way and gets seduced by Moondogie. Yawn Yawn...
haven't seen that before! Sulka and Katrina are far moe interesting as the
squabbling leather clad 'brides of dracula'
High
Points:
![]() The
dialogue isn't bad, there are quite a few choice lines that manage to
raise a smile
![]() It
stars Carmen Electra and Deborah Xavier both very beautiful ladies. Petty
jealousies between the 'brides of dracula' or the women newly turned is
always fun and Sulka and Katrina's squabbles over who gets to go first are
amusing.
Low Points:
![]() The
camera work is amateur, the quality is poor the set boring and you keep
seeing the mike and the boom.
![]() There
is very little plot to fill the time and the film is largely boring.
![]() The
acting is atrocious particularly Adam West and Johnny Venocur. Its not
easy to relate to the characters.
![]() The
marketing for this film is misleading. They emphasised the fact that
Carmen Electra's in it. She has a very small role, and the whole film is
totally non-gratuitous. The lovely ladies keep their clothes firmly in
place at all times. There is little use of sexual innuendo or anything
which would justify the use of playboy star Carmen Electra and Debora
Xavier. This film could easily be shown to children, which is fine except
its marketed at teens/young men offering the promise of at least T&A
and delivering... nothing.
![]() I
found Bruno (Sydney Lassick) really annoying. I found his murder of pets
rather sickening and severely out of context with the nature of this film.
![]() The
special features on the DVD are crap. you get limited filmographies of
Adam West and Carmen Electra and the trailer.
Logic let me introduce you...
In the letter Frankie gets from his parents, it says they have left
enough food in the fridge. They are going to be away for the whole summer.
It must be one huge fridge!
The camera work is so shoddy the boom
is often visible. I counted 8 times, but there could be more.
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Say What? Cool Quotes:
Best answer to the 'it was all a dream'
syndrome:
"Dreams, dreams, even the
most ludicrous can be significant. But we must search far deeper, look
much closer than what meets the eye. If we are to surface and truly live!"
You must be bats!
"Lets get out of here, its probably some psychotic seagull or
something!"
Biggest Sign of Imminent Doom, when a stranger
you've just met says:
"What are you
a doctor or something?"
"No, but I know a lot about bites!"
Most deluded fool goes to Bogie:
"I'm telling you, Moondoggie is probably the best thing
that happened to you."
Denial thy name is Dee
Dee:
"There's no such thing as
vampires"
Must resist temptation:
"But his neck is so jugular!"
The Big
Kahuna says:
"Now what's this
brouhaha about these bloodsuckers?"
Must Keep
Focused:
"Woah... Babes? What did
they look like?"
"ah, I dunno, two
beautiful...sexy...voluptuous...scantily clad...girls."
"Alright! Did
they try to seduce you?"
"Hell Yes. But luckily I got away."
"Why?
are you gay?"
"No. I just didn't want to end up as a mixer in some
vampire's Bloody Mary mix"
"Oh right... How many babes did you say?"
Shall we call it even?
"You violated my trust."
"You violated my girlfriend!"
Like thats gonna work:
"Stop that sucking!"
Meeting between vampire and his
nemesis:
"You know your family has
been a hemorrhoid in my family's arse for centuries."
Rules of the Game:
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"Everything you've heard about bloodsucking fiends is true"
References:
The film cites Bela Lugosi and plays along with the Dracula mythos,
having a character called Van-Hellsing-Meister. The pop group Kiss are
also mentioned.
Soundtrack:
Surf Beat 2000 performed by Dick Dale and his
Deltones
Its Not My Fault performed by The Giggle Twins
Disintigrate performed by Abercrombie
Caught
performed by Blue Colar Special
Do it Now performed by
Charlie C
Dance With Me performed by the Bluebeats
Evolution performed by Out of Order
Don't Get Crazy
performed by the Bluebeats
Pour Me Over You performed by
Willie
You Make Me Youperformed by Shawn Thompson
Just
Seventeen performed by the Giggle Twins
X-Rated Superstar
performed by Home Cookin'
Armaggeddon performed by Whats Up
with Q
In your eyes
Anorak
Connections:
Dick Dale also
performed songs on the soundtrack to From Dusk
Till Dawn II: Texas Blood Money (1999)
Adam West played
Batman in the original TV series. He is also in the awful psychic vampire
film Night of Darkness (1987).
Trevor Lissauer is better
known as Miles Goodman in Sabrina the teenage witch.
I'm sure you
need no intoduction to Carmen Electra star of Baywatch (Lani McKensie)
with cameos in Scary Movie and Get Over It.
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Links:
Official site
Theres not much here except
mini cast bios and a few pics.
Final Word:
American Vampire is number 58 on the Internet Movie
Database's worst 100 films of all time. It sucks. Its boring, non
gratuitous, badly acted, badly filmed and just plain bad. Imagine if
Baywatch was a vampire movie, only without the babes in swimsuits...
BORING. Its supposed to be a 'coming of age film' yet it has very little
depth, and Trevor Lissauer is supposed to have a Matthew Broderick like
appeal which would be better described as bad acting. Honestly most of the
characters are like cardboard. But really, what do you expect from a
surfer vampire film with a vampire called Moondoggie and a vampire hunter
called the Big Kahuna? Some of the dialogue is spot on and there are lots
of mermorable quotes, but thats it. The novelty of having a surfer vampire
film soon wears off. I hated the character of Bruno killing pets, its sick
for the sake of it and does not sit well with the atmosphere of the rest
of the film.
Verdict: 2/10
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Come one come all Mortals who are willing to stick their neck out for a vampire to feed upon. We will be willing to share our Dark Gift to you mortals if you pass our test.
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