DISCLAIMER: OK. Do NOT
get mad at me for this one. Purely off the top of my head and just
speculative, not permanent. Don't hurt me please!
Lestat de Lioncourt
and all related elements copyright Anne Rice respectively. This is not an
attempt at infringement. The lyrics from Evita have been changed in places
to represent a male instead of a female. Spoilers: Hell if I know! All the
Vampire Chronicle books I guess.
**************
Curtain
Call
By
Kabuki
"The choice was mine
and mine completely.
I could have any prize
that I desire
I could burn with the
splendor of the brightest fire
Or else ... or else I
could choose time."
--
Evita
"Lament"
Dearest
Louis,
I know that by the time you read this I will be gone. I never
wanted it to be this way. I never planned to hurt you the way I did by
giving you my blood all those years ago. I have both loved and hated you
through the years of our relationship in the same breath, as I know you
have felt towards me. There is no need to hide such things now. It doesn't
matter.
You know, it's kind of funny the way things turn out. You loved me
and I loved you, but we never could quite see eye to eye now, could we?
All those years we spent reinforcing our silence towards each other in
that flat in New Orleans with Claudia. All those years wasted. But now is
not the time for regrets, now is the time for
apology.
Yes, apology. I know you never imagined such a thing from me, but
lo and behold here it is. As I write this I know I must hurry, for you
will be home soon and I want this to be visible with the rising sun as you
lay down to sleep in our bed. I don't want you to have time to save me or
follow my lead. You see, Louis darling, this new way of life is killing
me. Has been killing me for years. No adventures are allowed. No rules are
to be broken. Normally I would have overcome such obstacles simply because
they posed a challenge, something to occupy my aching mind. It is
impossible, though. There are no more adventures to be
had.
I tried to send a forensics laboratory a sample of my blood a few
weeks ago. You probably heard about what happened, as I'm sure the entire
population of vampires has by now. I was flying to the laboratory to
deliver the sample personally so they could study it when I was plucked
from the sky. Khayman and Maharet captured and dragged me kicking and
screaming back to the Sonoma Compound. I was given the old lecture, except
with a very clear threat to my life if I did such a thing again. If you've
read my book, you'll see the parallels between this humiliation and what
my brothers did to me time and again. I can no longer tolerate such
restriction. I shall go mad if I live this way any longer! I thought being
a vampire would provide freedom, and for awhile it did, but now it is
merely another prison. I cannot even turn to the stage for love and
acceptance -- or escape. Once again I find myself trapped and drowning.
I have asked for advice before and already know what everyone will
say. There have been so few new fledglings, and they are so inexperienced
that they cannot provide me with proper council either. I myself am not
allowed to make another fledgling, for to do so would be to open up both
myself and my child to an attack from the others.
I cannot thrive under a dictatorship, which is what Maharet's reign
has become. I do not know what has become of Mekare, nor does anyone else,
but if she gave a damn about us then surely she would have interfered by
now. No, the twins are far too detached from we of the younger generation
-- especially from me: chosen of Akasha.
Raging against the machine, so to speak, has proven useless. Been
done, and I am bored and strained and hurt and angry. As someone once
said, Death is the last great adventure. I fear it, but it must be better
than this. I have seen the eyes of my victims alight with a strange joy as
they die in my arms. I have tried to see what they see, but the mind gives
out and I am unable to perceive the vision. But I do know Hell exists. And
I have been to Heaven, or so I thought at least. There is only one way to
find out, and at the moment I do not care anymore. One can only fear death
for so long.
I loved you, and will love you always. Do not cry for me. Do not
follow me to my end tomorrow night. You have eternity and if at all
possible we will be reunited in the next plain of
consciousness.
Du calme, du calme. Adieu, mon amour.
Forever yours in body
and soul,
Lestat de
Lioncourt
"Hang your head for
he's no longer there
To shine, to dazzle,
or betray.
How he
lived!
How he
shone!
But how soon the
lights were gone!"
--
Evita
"Lament"
~Fin~
