internet with the vampire A Vampire Chronicles story by _Twi_ (mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]) , January 1998. Winner of the 1997-1998 Silver Rat award for Best Silly. Rated PG. Louis awakes, as the violet sky darkens to navy and black at twilight. He stretches, yawns. He almost bonks his head on the lid of the coffin as he sits up - he keeps forgetting, even after all these years. He pads over to the dresser to get dressed, when he hears the uniquely annoying sound of a modem connecting. "Lestat! Are you online?" "Maybe." Louis comes down the stairs to the computer room, and seeing Lestat sitting in front of one of the PCs, starts reading over his shoulder. He is not surprised when he sees his own name on the screen. "Lestat, are you reading those stories about us again?" "Louis, I've told you not to read over my shoulder." "I can't believe you read this rubbish. Look at this - it's mostly an excuse to write about us...sleeping together! You might as well read romance novels." "Oh yes, I can see it now: 'Louis' bosom heaved as he touched Lestat's throbbing member...'" "Lestat, your member hasn't throbbed in centuries. And since when do I have a bosom?" "Since you started taking major roles in romance novels." "I won't even ask how it is that you know what romance novels are like." "I won't ask you, either, then." Louis turns sideways, examining himself in a mirror. "'Bosom'." Lestat winks at him. "Don't worry, Louis, your chest is looking much more concave than convex. Though it is an idea for a story..." "You wouldn't dare." "'The Passion of Louis.' They'll love it." "They won't." "Louis, these are the same people who think Armand is really dead." "You were the one who thought it would be fun to let Anne write a book. Not me. I told you it would turn out badly, but did you listen? Nooo..." "I wonder what the fans would do if I gave them proof that he's still alive?" "Lestat, I know you. You wouldn't do that. You would think it was a hilarious idea to post a 'Before and After' pictoral, with a 'Before' picture of Armand, and an 'After' picture of a bag of Kingsford charcoal briquettes." "Louis! I would never do such a thing." "Oh yes you would." "I wouldn't. I would use one of those 'victim-of-spontaneous- combustion' pictures from a tabloid." "How tasteful." "I know." Louis squints at the screen, despite his perfect vision. "So what are you reading now? Something by _Heather_ (http://members.dencity.com/specarchive/) ? _Theresa_ (http://www.geocities.com/BourbonStreet/2561/) ? Myst? _Torch_ (http://www.strangeplaces.net/torch/) ?" He shudders. "_Auden_ (http://www.siliconhenge.com/nightshades/) ?" "There's nothing wrong with Auden." "It'd be nice if she would explain exactly how we could start having explicit sex after centuries of celibacy." "I've read worse. Much worse." "'Dhampyr de Lionc' doesn't count, 'Stat." "It does too. That was the most plotless, nonsensical piece of--" "Lestat!" "Ok. But I'd really like her to explain how we were having sex in 1771, when I was eleven and you were five, or why I would kidnap some nurse and get her pregnant, even if I could." "Lestat. Be nice. I just assumed she was drunk." "Fine. The benefit of the doubt it is, then." He sulks, just a bit. "But you didn't answer my question. What are you reading?" "Something by this girl, Twilight." "Not her! She always characterizes me as a repressed whiner." "You? Never!" "I heard that." "I thought you didn't read fanfic, anyway." "I don't," Louis sniffs. "I've got better things to do with my time than feed my ego with that garbage." "I won't mention your collection of Patricia Mitnacht stories on your laptop, then." Louis' voice gets dangerous. "How would you know what I have on my laptop?" Lestat tries to look innocent. "You BASTARD! You went through my files!" Louis slaps Lestat across the back of the head. In retaliation, Lestat grabs Louis and pins him to the wall. He grins fiendishly, bearing wicked fangs. "You hit me. Now we'll have to discuss your punishment." "No way. Let me go, you brute." He struggles half-heartedly, trying to hide the smile starting to cross his face. "I was thinking we could act out one of the specs...fitting, hmm?" "Which one? '_Love's Mystery_ (http://www.siliconhenge.com/nightshades/specfolder/btd.html) '? '_Legacy of Darkness_ (http://members.dencity.com/specarchive/Specs/Joanne/Legacy.txt) '?" "'_Demons in the Dark_ (http://dangerousgames.simplenet.com/talset/Library/sins/demon1.html) '." "Nooo!!!" Louis shrieks, laughing, as Lestat drags him to the floor. The End...? _back_ (http://star.less.as/) ************************************** Get a sneak peek of the all-new AOL at http://discover.aol.com/memed/aolcom30tour
