darkness falls:
youth in bondage



I was walking home from the Lion Court, a club based on the  "vampire bars" 
in the Vampire Chronicles, in case you couldn't guess. I  went there nearly 
every night now to escape my parents. And the other  reason I went seemed 
insane...there was the crazy hope that maybe I would  find the real thing 
someday. 
The others at clubs like this thought that  playing with capes and black hair 
dye was fun, but they wouldn't want to  be vampires. In my mind, though, the 
playacting was definitely not  "even better than the real thing." There was 
nothing left in mortal life  for me. Oh, don't think I was suicidal. My will to 
live will always be far  too strong for that to ever happen. But mortal life 
was 
a monotonous drone  that I was sick of; what fun is life if you can't really 
live it? I was  seventeen years old and still trapped with my family, a 
prisoner in their  home. There was no way I could get a job that would pay well 
enough to pay  for an apartment; I had escaped kiddie jail, also known as 
"school", 
in  eighth grade, and my family couldn't afford to send me to college even if 
 they wanted to. And they didn't: they wanted me to stay home until they  
found a "proper husband" for me. Jeez, ever heard of "feminism?" Eek. Of  
course, 
if they found out that maybe I didn't want to marry a man  they would have 
hit the roof. I didn't plan on ever getting married to  anyone of either 
gender, 
anyway. But because I was legally theirs,  I had no say, even though I had 
never seen them as my parents. I was  almost certain that I wasn't really 
theirs, just some brat they picked up  from the doorstep to lug around. I 
certainly 
didn't look like anyone in my  family. My mother, my father, my little 
brother, all had dull brown hair  and watery blue-gray eyes and were tall and 
chubby 
and ruddy, sharply  contrasting my coloration and body type. I was (and still 
am) of fairly  average height, slender and pale. I was probably adopted, but 
at  this rate finding my real parents was unlikely at best.  
Deep in thought, I turned at a corner toward my house, staring up at  the 
night sky, a rippling swirl of purple and black and brown, like a ripe  
boysenberry. The night was warm and mild, and I could see the tiny,  glowing 
specks of 
fireflies flitting through the darkness. I smiled,  remembering the days when 
I was a little girl, catching fireflies and  keeping them in a jar to light my 
room.  
I was suddenly aware of footsteps behind me as I walked down  Connecticut 
Avenue. The steps mirrored my own, and when I turned to see  who is following 
me, 
I saw a man duck behind a tree.  
I knew what was about to happen, of course. I had seen that man before,  a 
scruffy slimeball-type who hit on virtually every girl who was over 13  years 
old. He had always scared me. I ran. I could hear footsteps running  in time 
with mine. I could feel fingers reaching out to grab the back of  my t-shirt, 
catching at my hair. ::Talik, run. Get something! Stop  him!:: My mind was 
screaming at me. I fumbled with my purse, trying to  find anything to ward him 
off. 
::The keys:: I grabbed my keyring, slashing  fiercely, unseeing. I must have 
got him, though, as he released me for a  second, and I ran all the way to my 
front door, slamming it behind me.  
My parents were waiting for me.  
"I...he...I'm home."  
"We noticed."  
"Nevermind me, I was attacked and would've been raped, no biggie. I  think 
I'll go to bed."  
"Not so fast, young lady," my father said. I hated it when he called me  
that. "We know what you've been doing."  
"Oh? Well, I don't know what I could've been doing, so clue me  in, please."  
"You watch your mouth. One of your little friends from your old school,  
Mindy Peterson, called us. It seems she saw you with her brother."  
"'With'? What, I was standing next to him? I was doing the Hokey-Pokey  with 
him?"  
"You know what I mean. You have some explaining to do."  
"What is there to explain? I have an idea of what she said, and I would  like 
to point out that Mindy is a pathological liar and would tell lies  about her 
mother to her grandmother."  
They just scowled at me. We scowled at each other. Finally, my mother  spoke. 
 
"We do not need to be told of the lustfulness in your heart. You are a  
sinner, like any human being. We have tried to teach you that the only way  to 
salvation is the Bible, but you haven't listened with an open heart. We  are 
sending you to St. Mary's boarding school tomorrow. Maybe that will  help you 
on 
the path to righteousness."  
If you couldn't guess, I was more than a little shocked and pissed off.  
"Fuck salvation! I'd rather go to Hell after I die than live in it now!  I'm 
not 
going to reform school, and that's that. Goodnight."  
I stomped up the stairs to my room, hearing my father shouting at me  below. 
I locked my bedroom door, leaning against it.  
I couldn't believe this. Boarding school. They had really  lost it now. I had 
always had a problem with their religious craziness, of  course. The fact 
that they were so disappointed that I didn't think  exactly like they did and 
didn't need a god bothered me. Of course,  Christianity in general does that to 
me, since it has always demanded that  not only do you have to believe in a 
god, but you have to believe in  their god or you will be sent to hell. Excuse 
me, but you'd think  if God is such a great and powerful guy, he could stand 
not 
having  everyone in the world kneeling at his feet. And if he gave the earth 
to  man (of course, man) "no strings attached", why do we have  to worship at 
his feet and do everything he says, anyway?  
Ah, forgive me, I'm rambling. Anyway, as I leaned against the door, in  shock 
from their decision, I swore that I would not be on the bus  to boarding 
school tomorrow morning. I had a plan...  







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