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Article Title:
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How Do I Fire My Son Toby? My Wife Won't Allow It...

Article Description:
====================

I love Toby. He's my oldest son, he's Vice President of Sales
but he just doesn't get it. The key word here is family and the
closer the family member is to you the owner, the more difficult
the decision and action becomes.


Additional Article Information:
===============================

1406 Words; formatted to 65 Characters per Line
Distribution Date and Time: 2006-08-08 13:48:00

Written By:     Rick Johnson
Copyright:      2006
Contact Email:  mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]


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How Do I Fire My Son Toby? My Wife Won't Allow It...
Copyright © 2006 Rick Johnson
CEO Strategist  LLC
http://www.ceostrategist.com



"I love Toby. He's my oldest son, he's Vice President of Sales
but he just doesn't get it. My daughter should be running this
business as I transition into retirement, she's brilliant but
she's married to a surgeon and doesn't want anything to do with
wholesale distribution. She's quite happy with all the charity
work she is involved in. My youngest son has potential but he's
only twenty two and just isn't ready to take over a $200 million
dollar distribution business. Two events have occurred recently
that are wearing on me a little. First, I transferred 75% of my
stock equally to my three kids, 25% each. All three receive a
salary although my daughter rarely appears at the office due to
her charity work. The second event occurred after I hired a
succession consultant to help me transition into retirement. He
told me that Toby was incompetent, destructive to the business
and I should fire him."  Excerpts form a real world conversation
disguised to protect confidentiality.

Does this conversation sound familiar? Maybe it's not about your
son or your daughter. Maybe it's about Aunt Lilly or Uncle
Chester. The point is if you own a family run business with
multiple family members working in the business, chances are you
have or will face the dilemma of what to do when a family member
just does meet satisfactory performance standards.

The key word here is family and the closer the family member is
to you the owner, the more difficult the decision and action
becomes. If the non performing party happens to be your son or
daughter it is even more difficult, after all you have your home
life to consider and that son or daughter has a relationship with
their mother who happens to be your wife. Don't kid yourself
about your level of control at home being equal to your level of
control at the office.


You Will Ride the Roller Coaster

Terminating a family member will likely be the most difficult
decision you will ever have to make as a CEO. There will be ups
and downs in the process. However, before you come to the
conclusion that you are actually going to hand Aunt Lilly or your
son a pink slip, you must be sure that you have exhausted every
possible option and scenario imaginable to solve the problem
short of termination. Your closeness to the family member is the
major determinant to the amount of patience and effort you put
into the process. And of course, the amount and type of
destructive behavior is also paramount to the decision you make.
It is possible that this family member can be placed in a
position that is not detrimental to the company and does provide
value. This can be a drawn out process that starts with frank,
open & honest communication with the family member. It will most
likely require some form of counseling to be effective and may
require a separate family discussion dependent upon
circumstances.

If you enlisted the aid of a consultant, remember that as an
outsider it is very easy for them to see a clear picture of the
business side of the situation due to not being involved in the
actual culture of the business. However, it is likely that they
can't come close to feeling or understanding the emotions that
you will experience during this process unless they themselves
have gone through it in a family business they owned. I say that
because having fired my own wife, brother-in-law and nephew from
my own family business exposed me to the turmoil, the pain, the
frustration, the guilt and the personal second guessing that you
too may experience as you go through the process.


Accept Your Circumstance

If you have exhausted every effort to salvage the situation and
feel you have no other alternative, understand going in that it
is going to be extremely difficult to terminate a family employee
in the same effective manner that you would terminate a non
family regular employee. Complications are even greater if that
family member is a stockholder regardless of the type of legal
agreements your lawyer may have drawn up. The first thing a
family member will do when facing termination is to seek the
support of other family members. If it is your son or daughter
this could actually create a serious challenge at home. It is no
secret that one of the primary reasons an entrepreneur starts a
business in the first place is to provide income and security for
his family. "Blood Is Thicker Than Water".

Personally, I believe the last thing you should want to do is
sacrifice family for the business. If you actually get to that
point in the process ----- Don't sacrifice your family life,
your relationship with your children or the relationship between
brothers and sisters. Sell the business. I repeat --- If it comes
to that - Sell the Business.


Put Business Needs Ahead of Personal Needs

This sounds contradictory to my previous statements doesn't it?
Well, I am not recanting. I am assuming that the situation has
not deteriorated to the point of family destruction. Often times
there are situations where a family member is relieved to not
have to work in the family business. Johnny is there because he
doesn't want to disappoint Dad. Johnny feels he is supposed to
act like an incumbent president because the family expects it but
he would rather be a missionary in Africa or build his own auto
parts dealership or pursue some other passion they have.

Remember, firing a family member doesn't necessarily mean
cutting them off financially without some form of remuneration.
Every thing is negotiable. This is especially true if they own
stock even if there is no legal buy out obligation. The last
thing you want is an angry ex-employee that is a family member
and a stockholder. They most likely will know about all the
skeletons in the closet, the aggressive tax position the company
has taken and many other issues that the company may not want to
go public. So, although the family member may not have a legal
position to force a minority stock buy-out, it may be in your
best interest to negotiate some form of buy-out that is fair to
the family member.

Consult your attorney, but remember, this is still a family
issue.


Don't Apologize

If you can turn this family/business problem in to a win-win
situation, there is no need to apologize. Don't backpedal and
don't be afraid to confront other family members that may not be
supportive of the process.

This is a business and once you have determined that this
situation will not destroy the family you must treat it in a
professional business manner. Remember, if it is going to destroy
the family --- Sell the Business.


All This Can Be Avoided ---- Right!!!

As a family business consultant in wholesale distribution, it
would be easy to preach to you about how to avoid this situation
in the first place. You can read all the articles, the advice,
research on the internet and the books that give advice on family
management offering solutions like the following;

1. Establish specific job descriptions for family members

2. Establish expectations up front

3. Create advancement criteria up front

4. Establish official family compensation programs paying family
members based on the position

5. Establish accountability and structure up front

6. Create a Board of directors that is not family dominated

7. Define a philosophy and stick to it

8. Make no exceptions for family regarding performance

9. Set specific education requirements

10. Annual training, coaching and mentoring requirements


And Wolves still Roam the Streets of Chicago.  Yes, these are all
good ideas but give me a break. This is not reality when we are
talking about your sons and your daughters, your wife's brother
or sister, your brother's son or daughter or even Uncle Joe.

In the end ---- immediate family does come first. If you find
yourself in a difficult situation, take a step back. Evaluate
your circumstance form both the business side and the family
side. There is no easy answer but nothing is impossible. Keep the
faith. E-mail [EMAIL PROTECTED] for template tools like the
family doctrine, the family management partnership agreement or
the family code of conduct that may help you resolve some of your
internal family issues.





---------------------------------------------------------------------
http://www.ceostrategist.com - Dr. Rick Johnson 
([EMAIL PROTECTED]) is the founder of CEO Strategist LLC. 
an experienced based firm specializing in leadership and the 
creation of competitive advantage in wholesale distribution. CEO 
Strategist LLC. works in an advisory capacity with distributor 
executives in board representation, executive coaching, team 
coaching and education and training to make the changes 
necessary to create or maintain competitive advantage. 
You can contact them by calling 352-750-0868, or visit   
http://www.ceostrategist.com for more information. CEO Strategist
- experts in Strategic Leadership in Wholesale Distribution.


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