Free-Reprint Article Written by: Kathy Stafford See Terms of Reprint Below.
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Additional Article Information: =============================== 611 Words; formatted to 65 Characters per Line Distribution Date and Time: 2007-11-02 11:12:00 Written By: Kathy Stafford Copyright: 2007, All Rights Reserved Contact Email: mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] Kathy Stafford's Picture URL: http://www.dearkathy.com/images/kls_article_photo.gif For more free-reprint articles by Kathy Stafford, please visit: http://www.thePhantomWriters.com/recent/author/kathy-stafford.html ============================================= Special Notice For Publishers and Webmasters: ============================================= If you use this article on your website or in your ezine, We Want To Know About It. Use the following URL to let us know where you have used this article, and we will include a link to your website on thePhantomWriters.com: http://thephantomwriters.com/notify.php?id=5389&p=load HTML Copy-and-Paste and TEXT Copy-and-Paste Versions Of Article Are Available at: http://thePhantomWriters.com/free_content/db/s/desperately-seeking-forgiveness.shtml#get_code --------------------------------------------------------------------- Desperately Seeking Forgiveness Copyright (c) 2007 Kathy Stafford, All Rights Reserved Dear Kathy http://www.dearkathy.com Let's assume that you've messed up and you want your girlfriend to forgive you. It's not just as simple as apologizing and asking her to forgive you. Take a little time to think about the situation before you act. First, understand what you did that requires her to forgive you. Second, find out how much generosity of spirit your girlfriend has. Third, figure out why you did what you did. There are little mistakes that you can seek forgiveness for, and then there are major blunders. Let's say that you've forgotten your girlfriend's birthday or that you were hanging out with the boys on Friday and you didn't mention that to her. Those are not earth-shattering events and the odds are that you'll be able to get through this situation without having to jump through any major hoops. In fact, giving her some sort of peace offering flowers, candies, a romantic dinner at her favorite restaurant will probably be enough to get her to ease up a little bit. Oh, you might have a little resistance, but it's nothing that will be serious. On the other hand, if you've made a serious mistake, things are totally different. Let's say that you cheated on her but now you want her back. First of all, it doesn't make any difference if you slept with another girl or if you just went out with her behind your girlfriend's back as far as she's concerned, you're cheating. And that means you've got a much larger problem that you're going to have to deal with. Get ready to really work to get her to forgive you. Understand that cheating is more than kissing someone else or making a pass at another girl or taking someone else on a date. You've broken the trust that your girlfriend had placed in you. That's pretty serious. In order to have a strong relationship you need a foundation of trust, and if that trust isn't there, you've got to really put an effort into fixing things. You shook the foundations of your relationship by violating trust, and now, if you want that relationship to continue, you've got to make sure that trust returns. This is going to take time and a lot of patience, because you're going to hear her say something like "I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to trust you again." When that happens, you need to remember to stay cool and calm. You shouldn't get defensive or mad at her because you're the person who ruined that trust in the first place. The first step is to get her speaking to you again. It's almost impossible to fix a relationship that is ruled by silence. Even if she's mad at you and she yells, that's better than dealing with the "silent treatment." Besides, the only reason that she's yelling is because she's angry and hurt at being betrayed, and that means that you'll have to deal with that. Explain what happened. Apologize for what you did. Remember not to get mad at her because she's the victim here. You created this situation so make sure you don't make it worse by telling her to just get over it. If you're sincere in wanting her back and if you're honest about what happened you have a good chance of making things right again. Sure, she's going to be hurt for a long time and she's not going to come around right away, but when you approach things in the right way and make her understand how much you need her in your life, she might come back to give the relationship one more chance. --------------------------------------------------------------------- Kathy Stafford, Relationship Coach, I show singles how to get married and couples how to STAY married Do you want more from your relationship? Go to http://www.dearkathy.com for relationship articles, advice, and programs. Get Kathys new book, Relationship Remorse: Mistakes Women Make When Shopping for a Man. and learn the right way to find a loving and committed life-partner. Order the book at http://www.relationshipremorse.com Copyright © 2007 Kathy Stafford / dearkathy.com. 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