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For Better or For Worse -- Divorce Can Usually Be Prevented

Article Description:
====================

It's likely that the number of couples who do turn to divorce
because they feel as though it's just not possible to resolve
their disputes have not really looked closely at all of the
options that are available to them. If a couple on the brink of
divorce were willing to make an effort to improve their
communication with the help of relationship counseling, then
divorce could possibly be averted.


Additional Article Information:
===============================

854 Words; formatted to 65 Characters per Line
Distribution Date and Time: 2008-02-01 10:24:00

Written By:     Cyndi Fortin
Copyright:      2008
Contact Email:  mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]



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For Better or For Worse -- Divorce Can Usually Be Prevented
Copyright (c) 2008 Cyndi Fortin
The Family & Marriage Counseling Directory
http://family-marriage-counseling.com/



Ask a few comedians - or for that matter, anyone whose marriage
failed - what the top cause of divorce among married couples is,
and a fair number of them are going to say that the answer is
obvious: marriage. It may be because of this assertion that more
and more couples are opting to not get married at all; if you
aren't married, there's not any reason why you would have to
get divorced. 

The rate at which couples are taking the plunge and getting
married is decreasing even though the overall population is
continuing to grow. Based on a recent study on marriage, 7.5 of
1000 individuals get married during the course of the year; 3.6
of 1000 individuals will get divorced. Though this still seems to
give credence to the idea that half of the marriages that take
place in a year end in divorce, the reality is that the number of
people who are divorcing has decreased during the last twenty
five years.

It's likely that the number of couples who do turn to divorce
because they feel as though it's just not possible to resolve
their disputes have not really looked closely at all of the
options that are available to them. If a couple on the brink of
divorce were willing to make an effort to improve their
communication with the help of relationship counseling, then
divorce could possibly be averted.

It's not that couples are unable to communicate without marriage
counseling so much as it's the case that many people are better
able to fully express themselves when they're prompted by a
marriage counselor - someone who serves in part to facilitate the
conversation, in part as an objective observer and in part to
help the husband and wife to work though the conflicts that they
are facing.

For example, in many cases, the couple is considering divorce
because they are finding that the time they have together isn't
like it was before the marriage. Therapists can help the husband
and the wife to talk about the ways in which they feel isolated
from their partner, to discuss possibilities that could help to
break down the barriers that are between them. 

In many cases, these barriers include one spouse bringing too
much work home from the office or simply working long hours. In
many other cases, a husband and a wife who, while they were
dating, saw each other only a few nights each week or who still
had an evening to go out with friends outside of the relationship
have trouble adapting to spending so much time with one another.

When the challenge that a couple is facing relates to the time
that they have, the time they spend together and the time that
they wish they had for themselves, a marriage counselor is able
to work with them to uncover what they are missing and to work
out ways in which they can stay together and have their needs
met. Similarly, if the issue that the couple is facing has to do
with money, relationship counseling can create a neutral ground
where the issues can be brought up with less anxiety and
frustration.

In most marriages there are struggles around money. Maybe the
husband believes he needs the most up to date technology and
spends extra money on the latest accessories. Maybe the wife is
concerned about spending or maybe she tends to go out and spend
money on things that she doesn't need because she's feeling
isolated, lonely and does not know how to process it. A
relationship counselor can help the couple to work out a
solution, and can work with the couple to discuss both the
surface issues and those that are deeper down.

Unresolved hurt is another frequent cause of divorce that family
counseling can help to resolve. When the wife feels that she
needs more help with the kids or when the husband feels that his
needs are in some way being ignored, it's easy for resentments
to build - resentments that, if left unacknowledged, could lead
one or both partner to look for companionship and intimacy with
someone else. 

Marriage counseling, on some levels, can help couples to address
their problems while they are still manageable - before the lines
of communication become so shredded that there's nothing left
connecting the husband and wife. It can also serve couples who
are considering divorce because there has already been hurt or a
breach of trust; talking it out, learning to communicate - to
talk and to not only hear but also to listen - can be the first
step on a path to a stronger, healthier, better relationship.

If marriage were easy, "for better or for worse" would not be
included in a couple's wedding vows. However, just because there
are challenges for those who are married doesn't justify
throwing in the towel - at least not before you've tried to work
it out. Remember that you love one another and wanted to share
your lives; things may not work out, however at least you'll
know you've tried your best.





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Cyndi Fortin writes about family and relationships. 
The Family & Marriage Counseling Directory provides a 
wide range of Family and Marriage Counseling Articles 
and Resources. Phone Counseling is available for those 
in immediate need. You can even browse therapists at 
our website, who are willing take your calls now:
http://family-marriage-counseling.com


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