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She never suspected her husband, who was a leader in their place of worship and community, would be unfaithful. She was blindsided when her husband came home one night and said he wanted a divorce because he had fallen in love with another woman. Additional Article Information: =============================== 536 Words; formatted to 65 Characters per Line Distribution Date and Time: 2008-11-28 11:12:00 Written By: Cathi Adams Copyright: 2008 Contact Email: mailto:mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] For more free-reprint articles by Cathi Adams, please visit: http://www.thePhantomWriters.com/recent/author/cathi-adams.html ============================================= Special Notice For Publishers and Webmasters: ============================================= If you use this article on your website or in your ezine, We Want To Know About It. Use the following URL to let us know where you have used this article, and we will include a link to your website on thePhantomWriters.com: http://thephantomwriters.com/notify.php?id=6412&p=load HTML Copy-and-Paste and TEXT Copy-and-Paste Versions Of Article Are Available at: http://thePhantomWriters.com/free_content/db/a/how-to-heal.shtml#get_code --------------------------------------------------------------------- How to Heal When Your Husband Has Been Unfaithful Copyright (c) 2008 Cathi Adams Divorce Secrets http://www.DivorceDefense.com Lisa knew that something had changed with her husband. He was working longer hours, was tense and showed little interest in her or the childrens activities. She never suspected her husband, who was a leader in their place of worship and community, would be unfaithful. She was blindsided when her husband came home one night and said he wanted a divorce because he had fallen in love with another woman. Lisa was lucky. She had her own job and money and was able to get a good attorney and win custody of their two children. The psychological effects of her husbands cheating proved to be the most difficult aspect of her divorce. Any type of betrayal is devastating. Adultery cuts into the belief that for better or worse, your spouse will be faithful. The key to your healing is in how you view yourself after you have been betrayed. * Its not about you. Your husband didnt cheat because you werent pretty enough, thin enough or interesting enough. Your husband cheated because he broke his marriage vowsperiod. * Revenge is not the answer. Dont have an affair to get back at your spouse. Dont smash out his car windows. These things sound good in songs and may make you feel better temporarily. But your actions could be used against you. You will feel better in the long run if you dont resort to cheap revenge tactics. * Dont compare yourself to the other woman. She may appear to be younger, smarter and richer, but you are you! No one can offer what you can to the world. If your spouse cant see all the wonderful things about you, it is his loss. * If children are involved in the divorce, try to shield them from the details as much as possible. Particularly in small towns, affairs are fuel for gossip. Your husband is still your childrens father and you dont want the children to hear the salacious stories of the fathers infidelity. Even when you are hurting, try to put on a brave front for the children. * Learn to trust again. You are not fully healed if you are carrying the effects of the betrayal into your other relationships. Adultery not only affects future romances, but relationships with co-workers and family. You may feel that if your husband could have betrayed you, anyone can. Dont fall into the trap of believing that all people are untrustworthy and will hurt you. * Take care of yourself. You may be tempted to let everything go and spend your nights crying while watching revenge movies and eating cartons of ice cream. Sleep well and eat right. Give yourself a spa day. Spend time with your friends. Do something your spouse would not do with you. Dont left life stop because someone broke your trust. Give yourself time to heal. Betrayal cuts deep. Dont hide your feelings. If you feel like you are having a hard time, dont be afraid to seek help. You can turn to a professional therapist or seek counseling from a spiritual advisor. The most important thing is to not let your husbands betrayal ruin your life. Life is too short and has too many wonderful things still to offer you. --------------------------------------------------------------------- (c) 2003-2008 Cathi Adams. Cathi Adams is the author of "Divorce Secrets: What Every Women Should Know." This invaluable resource provides steps to ensure financial security to woman faced with the possibility of divorce. 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