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Article Title:
==============

The Family Does Not End with the Marriage

Article Description:
====================

One of the most painful aspects of divorce is how to tell the
children that Mommy and Daddy will not live together anymore.
Children are the innocent victims when a marriage falls apart.
Your feelings toward your soon-to-be-ex may be bitter and even
vengeful. Your children's feelings are not the same. Daddy is
still Daddy, no matter what. Your children have every right to
love each parent unconditionally. Even though that marriage ends,
the family you created is forever. Your ex will forever be tied
to you through the children.


Additional Article Information:
===============================

504 Words; formatted to 65 Characters per Line
Distribution Date and Time: 2008-12-01 11:12:00

Written By:     Cathi Adams
Copyright:      2008
Contact Email:  mailto:mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]



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The Family Does Not End with the Marriage
Copyright (c) 2008 Cathi Adams
Divorce Secrets
http://www.DivorceDefense.com



One of the most painful aspects of divorce is how to tell the
children that Mommy and Daddy will not live together anymore.
Children are the innocent victims when a marriage falls apart.
Your feelings toward your soon-to-be-ex may be bitter and even
vengeful. Your children’s feelings are not the same. Daddy is
still Daddy, no matter what. Your children have every right to
love each parent unconditionally. Even though that marriage ends,
the family you created is forever. Your ex will forever be tied
to you through the children.

The difficulty of divorcing with children is lost on those who
divorce when they are childless. If there are no children, most
exes have no reason to see each other again. Divorcing with
children involves custody agreements, visitations schedules and
child support negotiations.

Most states require a workshop for parents who divorce in hopes
of giving them tools to deal with the ex during an acrimonious
time. These tips are often forgotten when the ex brings back the
children two hours late or refuses to help pay for a dental bill.
If you are still in the middle of divorce and custody
proceedings, the judge is going to look for the parent who has
been the most cooperative. Developing a spirit of cooperation
takes practice and self control.

 * Never, never get the children involved you any squabble or
disagreement with your ex. No matter what their age is, let them
be kids. The children are going through enough with the
dissolution of the marriage. Children are not stupid. They know
that Mommy and Daddy have problems or they would be together.
Shield them from as much as you can from the circumstances of the
divorce. Avoid arguing with your spouse in front of the children
if at all possible. Never mention any problems with child
support.

 * You are in the business of raising your children. Treat your
ex as you would a business colleague. You may have people you
don’t like at work, but you still maintain civility because you
have to see them every day. Offer your spouse this same type of
courtesy.

 * The ideal situation for the children is to see Mommy and Daddy
become friends. This may be impossible if there was abuse in the
marriage. Friendship will require forgiveness, grace and
practice. Try to remember what you liked about your ex that made
you marry him. Concentrate on those things. You will be much more
comfortable sitting next to your spouse at your child’s
graduation or wedding one day if you can have managed to put the
past behind you.

 * Make a plan soon after you separate on how to keep holiday
traditions. Visitation agreements are the most difficult part of
any divorce. Planning ahead (even years ahead) can quell future
arguments and give the children a sense of tradition and
security.

Parents determine their children’s future. Even if you are
deciding that future from separate homes, remember you have one
common goal in mind---to raise happy and healthy children.






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(c) 2003-2008 Cathi Adams.

Cathi Adams is the author of "Divorce Secrets: What Every Women
Should Know." This invaluable resource provides steps to ensure
financial security to woman faced with the possibility of
divorce. 

Visit her web site for a FREE report -What You 
Absolutely Must Know Before You Even THINK About Getting 
A Divorce: http://www.DivorceDefense.com



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http://www.DivorceDefense.com



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