A Free-Reprint Article Written by: James Kern Article Title: What's Important in a Relationship
See TERMS OF REPRINT to the end of the article. Article Description: Unless you know what your partner really wants from you, then you have very little chance in hell to have a fulfilling relationship. Find our today exactly what your partner wants from you. Additional Article Information: =============================== 644 Words; formatted to 65 Characters per Line Distribution Date and Time: 2010-01-14 12:45:00 Written By: James Kern Copyright: 2010 Contact Email: mailto:[email protected] James Kern's Picture URL: http://www.backtogetherforever.com/images/jay1234.png For more free-reprint articles by James Kern, please visit: http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Jay_Kern AND http://www.thePhantomWriters.com/recent/author/james-kern.html ============================================= Special Notice For Publishers and Webmasters: ============================================= HTML Copy-and-Paste and TEXT Copy-and-Paste Versions Of Article Are Available at: http://thePhantomWriters.com/free_content/db/k/important-things-in-relationships.shtml#get_code --------------------------------------------------------------------- What's Important in a Relationship Copyright (c) 2010 James Kern Back Together Forever http://www.backtogetherforever.com/ Sometimes, being in a love relationship is so scary that we'll destroy it just to get out. What? Destroy your own relationship? You worked so hard to get it! That doesn't make sense.... or does it? On the surface, you think that being in love is the greatest thing since sliced bread, but underneath you're flailing and kicking and trying to get back to the status quo, which is you being alone and miserable. It sucks, but you're used to life there. If Alone and Miserable were a bar, everybody there would know your name. Did you know that this self-destruction business is coded into your DNA? Yep, you're hard-wired to do this stuff. (What's up with that?) We have a flight or fight instinct. Back in the day, it was what made you either beat up the caveman who stole your cavewoman or run away because he was wearing saber-toothed tiger furs, which meant he was obviously more aggressive than you were. Nowadays, when things get too emotionally difficult, our fight or flight response is triggered and we start doing crazy things like stalking your lover's house at 2am to see if there's a strange car in the driveway or hacking into their email to see whom they've been chatting with. But there's a light at the end of this tunnel! You're not stuck at the Alone and Miserable bar forever. In fact, once you become aware of the things you're doing to sabotage your relationships, you can work toward stopping those behaviors and saying goodbye to Alone and Miserable and hello to Happy and Attached. What Are You Afraid Of In This Relationship? Find your fears. Do you have any deep-seated beliefs about love relationships that have influenced how you view this one? Do you love yourself? Are your fears based on current facts or speculations based on horrible past relationships? Are you engaging in "Worst Case Scenario" thinking? What usually motivates you to start acting crazy and doing self-destructive things? Do you feel better after doing them or worse? (Most likely, you feel worse and have only exacerbated the problem! Does that tell you anything?) Look Inside Are you causing the problems in your relationship? It's a tough question. A lot of people have problems admitting when they are the one in the wrong. Think about the bad experiences you had in your relationship. Did they all start after you triggered them? For example, did you always fight when you were drunk? Did arguments start up because you wanted to wake her for sex at 3am when she had to be at work by 7? Do you throw a fit when he forgets to take out the garbage? Ouch. Maybe you are the problem. It doesn't make you a horrible person. (Okay, it might, but even horrible people can learn from their mistakes and become better!) Remember that humans are very easily conditioned to behave in certain ways based on their past experiences. (If you remember back to Psychology class, there was that guy Pavlov who conditioned dogs to drool at the sound of a bell. It's the same for you except you've conditioned yourself to freak out and get super possessive whenever you're in love. Personally, I'd rather drool.) You can totally re-condition yourself to avoid these relationship destruction tendencies! It will take a while and it will take being 100% honest with yourself, but it's do-able. The key is to focus on the moment. Do not project thoughts into the future or drag up memories of the past. Live in the right now. It might be time to seek help so you can work out your emotions with someone who has helped others through similar problems. It may seem like an impossible dream, but if you fix yourself, you could very well salvage a relationship you thought was doomed. --------------------------------------------------------------------- Written by James Kern. In his video series, he goes through 7 super-ninja ways to open up the lines of communication to get your ex back. Visit http://www.backtogetherforever.com/ to get your free "Magnetic Communication CD" posted out to you today. --- END ARTICLE --- Get HTML or TEXT Copy-and-Paste Versions Of This Article at: http://thePhantomWriters.com/free_content/db/k/important-things-in-relationships.shtml#get_code ..................................... TERMS OF REPRINT - Publication Rules (Last Updated: May 11, 2006) Our TERMS OF REPRINT are fully enforcable under the terms of: The Digital Millennium Copyright Act http://thomas.loc.gov/cgi-bin/query/z?c105:H.R.2281.ENR: ..................................... *** Digital Reprint Rights *** * If you publish this article in a website/forum/blog, You Must Set All URL's or Mailto Addresses in the body of the article AND in the Author's Resource Box as Hyperlinks (clickable links). * Links must remain in the form that we published them. 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Download our F.R.E.E. 108-page Article Marketing Ebook at: http://thephantomwriters.com/ebooks/advanced-article-marketing.html ***************************************************************** * * This email is being delivered directly to members of the group: * * [email protected] * ***************************************************************** ===================================================================== ABOUT THIS ARTICLE SUBMISSION http://thePhantomWriters.com is a paid article distribution service. thePhantomWriters.com and Article-Distribution.com are owned and operated by: Bill Platt 3010 E Raintree Stillwater, Oklahoma USA 74074 Learn more about our article distribution services by visiting: http://thephantomwriters.com/x.pl/tpw/info/article-distribution/index.html The content of this article is solely the property and opinion of its author, James Kern http://www.backtogetherforever.com/ --------------------------------------------------------------------- XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX ---------------------------------------------------------------------
