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Passed to me by someone from a friend in New Zealand.
Even the Yanks have problems with Ruperts!!!!!
Actual lines out of U.S. Military OERs (Officer Efficiency Report): * Not the sharpest knife in the drawer. * Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't watching. * A room temperature IQ.. * Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all > together. * A prime candidate for natural deselection. * Bright as Alaska in December. * Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming * So dense, light bends around him. * If brains were taxed, he'd get a rebate. * If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week. * Was left on the Tilt-A-Whirl a bit too long as a baby. * Wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Actual excerpts from Royal Navy and Marines officer fitness reports: * His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of curiosity. * I would not breed from this officer. * He has carried out each and every one of his duties to his entire satisfaction. * He would be out of his depth in a car park puddle. * This young lady has delusions of adequacy. * This medical officer has used my ship to carry his genitals from port to port, and my officers to carry him from bar to bar. * Since my last report he has reached rock bottom, and has started to dig. * She sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them. * He has the wisdom of youth, and the energy of old age. * Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap. * This man is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot. |
