Disclaimer: I do not own Harry and co. The wonderful JK Rowling is their mistress. Characters unknown are mine.
Author: Caliadragon
Title: How Did I Get Here?
Fandom: Harry Potter
Category: AU
Parts 9/?
Pairings: Harry/Severus, Ron/Draco, Hermione/ OFC, Lucius/Remus
Archives: Any list I send it to, those with prior permission and BC.A/N 1: This is completely AU. I do not write canon. Though some will appear in this tale. This is an Mpreg story and will contain m/m and f/f slash.
A/N 2: This is the first Harry Potter story I have ever written so please be kind. I seem to have plot bunnies on acid attacking me left and right so I do not know how long it will be between chapters or how long it will take me to finish this. Sorry.
Warnings: Mpreg, Character Death, Rape and Torture mentioned.
Summary: What if the Malfoys were not what they seemed? What if they were also spies?
PLEASE READ A/N 3!!!
A/N 3: This fic has been a long and ongoing process for me and has managed to evolve from what I originally intended it to be. It was my first Harry Potter fic and I am ashamed to say it has a way to go before it is finished. Thank you to everyone who has kept with it and is still interested in seeing what will happen to our beloved characters. The time line is going to jump in this chapter and we will be witnessing Harry and Severus' wedding. Harry is now six months pregnant. For those of you who are wondering there will be no sex yet. Harry and Severus are getting closer, but Harry has been abused his entire life and violently raped.
As such I do not believe that he is either emotionally or physically ready to commit to such a relationship. I have been accused by a few detractors of making Harry feminine in his reactions to the changes in his body as well as the reactions to his trauma. I do not believe this is the case. Rape is not just a physical invasion; it is an emotional one as well. Not only does the victim experience the loss of their physical safety, they are raped in their minds and have their sense of self damaged.
For Harry this would have been worse; the man, who raped him, while under the control of another, was someone that Harry not only loved, but trusted as well. On top of that he witnessed Sirius kill himself so that Harry might escape with his life. Add in the visions that he is constantly assaulted with - Harry will be very fragile. This has made him revert to the shy, uncertain boy he was when he first met Hagrid.
Through the course of this fic you will see Harry get stronger and see the spark that makes him Harry return, but in the meantime he will be a shadow of the boy we have come to love in the books. If this is something you do not like, please stop reading the story and insulting my view on things. I have known victims, both male and female, of rape, abuse and neglect and they do not completely bounce back even if they show that view to the world. Harry is not doing so, simply because both Mione and Ron would know that it was a facade and because he is simply too tired to do so. Anyway if you continue to read, thank you for listening to me ramble and for reading my work. Now on to the fic.
Previous Parts can be read here ~~~
Chapter 9: Month 7: The first Kiss
Harry sat with his eyes closed, his legs stretched out in front of him and a soft smile upon his face. The warmth of the sun felt wonderful against his skin. In the last few months he had tanned again and he had begun to truly heal from the traumas he had faced. Being married and bonded to Severus had changed his life completely. They had decided to go on a honeymoon despite the nature of their marriage. To Harrys surprise and delight they had ended up on the Snape family island in the South Seas.
Severus had made it clear that all Harry had to do was relax and get stronger. During their time there Harry had also learned Occlumency and no longer suffered from the visions of what Voldemort was doing. This had come at an opportune time as it seemed that Voldemort had learned of their connection and was purposely sending visions to Harry. From what they had learned Voldemort was furious, but there was nothing he could do to Harry and Harry was under orders to forget about the bastard while they were on the island.
One other benefit for Harry was that he had also begun to learn more about the man he had bonded to. Severus was a quick witted, brilliant man. Harry loved listening to him talk and Severus was a brilliant teacher, something that Harry had never realized, since both of them were so busy being at odds or protecting themselves from one another.
Harry had learned a great deal about potions in the last month and was finding himself fascinated by the process and theory. He could not of course brew any due to his condition, but that didnt bother him. He knew once his child was born he would be able to do so and that he would get to work on the potions that Severus had told him about. Another bonus was that he was now able to do magick without his wand. He still used it, but unlike Voldemort he was not dependent on it. Harry felt that this could only help him in the long run.
What Harry was at peace with today was what had happened the night before. He and Severus had prepared for bed as usual and Harry had turned to say good night to Severus, finding himself face to face with the older man. Going with an impulse he couldnt name, Harry had kissed Severus. Not a mere brushing of lips, but a true kiss. Harrys body was awash with sensation as he remembered the kiss, and a soft blush suffused his face.
It was there first real kiss, but not their last. They had fallen asleep with Severus spooned against his back. When they woke this morning Severus had kissed him again. It was a heady experience, and Severus had pulled away before Harry could begin to feel overwhelmed. After breakfast Harry had come out to the deck and Severus had gone to gather potions ingredients.
Harry could not remember a time when he was so happy, it was a first step, but Harry felt heat in his belly and warmth in his heart. He could not wait to see what happened next.
AN: Sorry this has taken so long to get out. I have a question for you all. Should the baby be a single birth or twins? Do you want a boy or a girl? Let me know what you think.
Thanks
Calia
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