Notes and Disclaimes in Part 0 ----------------------------- Leverage and Momentum
3/3 ----------------------------- Carl was sorely disappointed, but not surprised, when he woke alone. He sat on the edge of the bed for a long time, telling himself he'd been foolish to believe that Van Helsing's affections went any deeper than friendship and physical need. Van Helsing said he wanted Carl now. Not that he loved him. Carl hurried through his morning rituals--clean, dress, pray, eat--and then wondered why he was in such a rush. Was he planning on searching out Van Helsing? And for what? The man knew how he felt. If Van Helsing didn't feel the same about him, what more could he do? He tried to hang on to Van Helsing's certainty that no matter what, Carl wouldn't lose him. Carl slogged toward the lab. To his surprise, Van Helsing waited for him, his long leather overcoat already on, a large satchel on his shoulder. The other occupants of the room milled about, busy forging and building and experimenting, but Van Helsing stood almost perfectly still next to a worktable. The only movement, his long fingers tracing the seam where a severed corner had been reattached. Carl didn't even pretend to not be disappointed as he approached. "A mission?" Van Helsing nodded, a bit sadly, Carl thought, unless it was wishful thinking on his part. "Monaco. A man they believe is changing into some sort of large cat at night, a panther or a leopard, they weren't specific. Three dead so far." Then they were all business. "Technically a type of were-creature," Carl said to himself as he ensured Van Helsing would have all the proper implements and weapons. When he was finished, he looked at the man, wishing desperately they were alone so he could kiss him once before he left. But not really knowing if Van Helsing would want that. He thought so. He hoped. "Monaco, Carl. That's not too far," Van Helsing said. "I shouldn't be gone long, if I find him quickly." Carl nodded and tried to smile a little. "Of course, Van Helsing. Be careful." "I'll see you soon." Van Helsing squeezed Carl's shoulder, and was gone. ------------------------------------- For days Carl analyzed those last few moments in the lab. Van Helsing seemed to be trying to reassure Carl he would back soon. That was new. He had been known to grouse a bit about long journeys, or journeys through less-than-friendly territories, but he'd never used that phrase before, or the tone. *I shouldn't be gone long. . . *. But then there was the parting squeeze to Carl's shoulder. That was typically what he always did before he left. Carl had thought for a moment the hand was moving toward his face, but in the last two weeks he decided that was just his imagination giving him what he most wanted. Carl desperately wished they'd had more time, at least a few more days ideally, before Van Helsing had to leave. Even if it was to find that Van Helsing had wanted him only that one night, at least he would know. And not be forced to wonder while he was away. Van Helsing had cabled three days ago, and should have already been back. So now Carl wondered when he would arrive and if he was all right, on top of the turmoil he already felt over the night they spent together. To try to keep his mind off such things, he worked late into the night, as usual, most of his time spent on making the hand-blade release switch. Aside from the two days he'd been forbidden to enter the lab. Carl had rushed into testing a hastily constructed switch on a just-as-hastily-constructed model. He flung his arm to hurl it toward a target and when nothing happened he turned back to his table to figure out the problem. The blade finally popped free, dropped to the table and rolled across, with Carl shouting a warning at Brother Caleb. Caleb, who didn't look long enough to realize that all he had to do was step out of the way of the slowly rolling blade, assumed he was about to fall victim to one of Carl's lethal weapons gone awry. The portly man turned and ran, hands above his head, shrieking a prayer, and tumbled over a Muslim who had bent over to pick up a spring. Neither Caleb nor the man he tripped over were seriously injured. Just sore, and perturbed. But it cost Carl two days of progress on his design. And in those two days, he'd gone over every moment he'd spent with Van Helsing, every word, every touch, and nearly gone out of his mind. Carl sighed and looked at the model he had in pieces in front of him. He'd really hoped to perfect the design before Van Helsing returned, but there was little hope of that now. He might as well go to bed and start fresh tomorrow. Maybe he would actually get some sleep this time, instead of tossing and turning, rolling things over in his mind. He turned to leave the lab and gasped in surprise. Van Helsing stood at the top of the stairs. Carl smiled instantly. "You're back." "Yes." "What are you doing?" Van Helsing smiled and cocked his head. "Watching you." Carl's smile faded. "There's nothing to see, I'm finished here." He made his way up the steps and brushed past Van Helsing, who still hadn't moved. "I'm glad you're home safe." "Glad I'm. . . ?" Van Helsing followed him out of the lab and smirked. "Carl, I'd only been standing there a few moments. You turned just as I was coming down." "You were being very quiet." "Meant to surprise you." Van Helsing had trouble keeping up with the friar, despite his longer gait. "You mean, you meant to catch me." Van Helsing grabbed him from behind and hugged him tightly. "I mean, I was going to do this." "Van Helsing! If someone--" "If someone saw I'd say you were choking and I was trying to save you." He spun Carl. "Then I was going to do this." His hands cupped the back of Carl's head as he kissed him, quickly. Carl blinked several times and exhaled. "What would you say if someone saw that?" "Your dear Aunt Ida in Monaco asked me to kiss you for her." "I don't have an Aunt Ida." "Stop making this difficult." Carl pressed his lips into a thin line and turned, once again headed for his room, unsurprised that Van Helsing followed. His mind was set at ease on one point--it seemed their night together was not going to be the only one, unless Van Helsing had gone mad on his trip and that explained why he'd just kissed him in the hall. But, Carl thought, he may just need to relieve stress from the mission. He'll be gone in the morning and that'll be that, and I'll feel just as lost as I have all this time. Until next time he returns from a mission, and wants me again. And Carl realized, almost disgusted with himself, that he didn't care. He wanted more, yes, but if that was not to be, he would take what he could get. Whenever, however. . . whatever Van Helsing wanted, Carl would give him. Carl walked into his room first but didn't turn when he heard the door close behind them. "So how was your trip?" "Lonely." Carl faced him and opened his mouth to speak, but Van Helsing cut him off. "I really was only standing there for a moment, Carl, because I was thinking how glad I was to be back. . . to see you." Carl sighed and let his expression soften at the look on Van Helsing's face. "You're all right, then? You didn't get scratched or bitten, or injured in some other--" Van Helsing lunged forward and kissed him. ---------------------------------------------- This time, when Carl tried to roll him onto his back, Van Helsing let him. Carl took his time exploring the body beneath him with his hands and his cheeks and his tongue. When Carl took Van Helsing into his mouth, he thought he would lose himself just from the man's reaction. Van Helsing's fingers tightened in Carl's hair as he bucked off the bed and moaned. Soon after, the fingers were tightening again to pull Carl away. "Stop. . . I can't. . . " "Go ahead, it's all right--" Van Helsing rolled on top. "No, I want you." This time, Van Helsing moved slower, doing his own explorations of Carl's body, mimicking what was done to him. When he took Carl into his mouth, it was awkward at first, and then instinct or memory or both kicked in, and he soon had Carl in a state of need to match his own. Carl pulled him up to kiss him, and Van Helsing was stretching him, slowly and easily, and then he was inside and moving, kissing Carl and stroking him in time with his thrusts. Carl's hands were everywhere on him as he moved--on his back, his ass, in his hair--and his legs were wrapped tightly around the man's waist. Van Helsing kissed Carl's chest, and felt him tense. He lifted his head to watch Carl's face, and was struck to see those blue eyes looking back at him. When Carl gave a soft cry and jerked beneath him without looking away, Van Helsing whispered *Carl* and felt himself tumble over the edge. Their mouths were no more than a few inches apart and Van Helsing wanted to kiss him, but Carl's gaze held him in place. When they were both spent, Van Helsing did lean down to kiss him, eyes still open, before he let himself drop next to Carl. He wanted to say something, but had no words that seemed right. Neither man spoke as Van Helsing wound himself around Carl and they fell asleep, a twist of arms and legs. ------------------------------------------- "Carl. Carl!" Van Helsing shook him gently. "Wha?" Carl squinted at him. "Sorry, but you're snoring's going to disturb people in England. You need to sleep in a different position. Something." Carl turned his head and squinted at the window, and then sat up. He was still tired, and subtlety was not one of his strong suits this early in the morning. He eyed Van Helsing incredulously. "It's almost daybreak and you're still in my bed." Van Helsing propped himself up on an elbow, frowning. "If you'd rather I weren't in your bed, Carl, I can go to my own room." "No! No. I'm glad you're here. I just didn't think you would be." Carl yawned and rubbed his face with both hands. "Why not?" "You weren't last time, as I recall." "Last time I woke up and couldn't go back to sleep." Van Helsing sat up at the tone in Carl's voice. "So I took a walk. To think. About what happened, what you said about. . . loving me. Everything. And on my way back here I got cornered by a monk who had just gotten word from Jinette about the trouble in Monaco. By the time I had a chance to come and get you I knew you'd already be on your way to the lab, so I waited for you there." He took Carl by the shoulders. "If not for that, Carl, I would have been here when you woke up." "You were coming back?" "Of course. I was even planning on waking you when I got back." Carl couldn't help but smile at that, but then his expression darkened. "You still hadn't gotten the mission out of your system?" He could have slapped himself for saying it, but it was out and couldn't be taken back. At least he'd know. Van Helsing let go of his shoulders. "What?" At the hurt expression on Van Helsing's face, Carl tried to wave the comment away. "Nothing, nothing, never--" "My God, Carl. Is that all you think this is to me? A way to get things out of my system?" Carl could only stare for a moment, again desperately wishing he'd kept his mouth shut. Then he shrugged slightly. "Isn't it?" Van Helsing sat silently for a moment, examining his hands, before looking at Carl and speaking. "Remember that night, when you'd asked what took me so long to follow you to your room?" When Carl nodded, Van Helsing continued. "After you left the lab, I tried to distract myself with something. . . unexciting. Anything but the thought of you, here, waiting for me. So I thought of some of your more complicated experiments, the ones you claim make my eyes glaze over. But that made me think of you, explaining them to me. I tried thinking of some of the most horrible creatures I've encountered, which made me think of how I fought and slayed them. All with weapons you created. Then I tried to conjure the taste of some of the worst food I've ever eaten, but that made me think of many meals I've had courtesy of The Order. . . ." Van Helsing smiled at the slightly confused look on Carl's face. "When I got here, you pointed out that my efforts to make my. . . state less obvious hadn't worked, remember? That's because everything I thought about, everything I tried to distract myself with, everything I know, Carl. . . it all leads me back to you. It always has." Carl smiled. "I was going to wake you that morning to tell you that I have always loved you, Carl. You're my dearest friend." Carl looked down, nodding. Just as he'd suspected. Friend. "But now what I feel is. . . different. Bigger, somehow. Better. I can't even explain it, it's just. . . more." Carl sucked in a breath. "You love me?" "Yes. I think I do." Carl pushed Van Helsing down by his shoulders and rolled on top of him, kissing him until Van Helsing needed a breath to speak. "I was going to wake you that morning to talk about some other things, too. You remember talking?" "What else did you want to talk about?" Carl kissed his neck. "A number of things. For instance, clearly, you've done this before. And I was curious. About him." He looked up. "Which him?" Van Helsing's eyes widened as he laughed. "God, Carl, all this time I thought you were an innocent. How many hims have there been?" "Not many. But I'm just a friar, you know, I haven't taken a vow of celibacy." Carl thought for a moment. "Innocent? Does it bother you, not being the first?" "As much as I liked thinking I might have been, no, it doesn't bother me. As long as I'm the last." "Well, I don't know. . . " Carl twisted up one side of his mouth as if in deep contemplation. Van Helsing threw his head back and snorted. "You're terrible." Carl returned to Van Helsing's neck before another thought struck him. "So you were surprised that I'd been with anyone, ever?" Carl wasn't sure if he should be insulted, or flattered. "I was surprised, at first." Van Helsing threaded his fingers through Carl's hair and kissed him--a slow, almost tentative kiss--before whispering, "But now I realize that not everyone is as blind as I've been." They kissed again, deeply and unhurried, and Carl rolled them both so that they were on their sides, facing one another, with one of Carl's legs coming to rest between Van Helsing's. As he was pulled forward by his waist, Carl wrapped his arms around Van Helsing and buried his face against the man's neck. "So, Gabriel," Carl said, as he nuzzled, "tell me all about Monaco." ------------------------ End 3/3 Feedback, if you're so inclined, to [EMAIL PROTECTED] Feedback is lovely. And might even save baby seals or rainforests or something. Cousin Shelley David Wenham Daily--http://www.livejournal.com/community/daisy_daily/ Purple Prose--http://www.geocities.com/csnshelley Crap--http://www.livejournal.com/users/cousinshelley/ Carl and the Beholder shook their heads while the chicken feigned indifference. -- Splice Outtakes, nikoru sanzo ____________________________________________________ Yahoo! Sports Rekindle the Rivalries. Sign up for Fantasy Football http://football.fantasysports.yahoo.com this list is archived at: http://www.squidge.org/~peja/ Yahoo! Groups Links <*> To visit your group on the web, go to: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ThereBeSlashHere/ <*> To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to: [EMAIL PROTECTED] <*> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to: http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
