Here's what I got working:
\define myactions()
<span style=background-color:red; class="tc-tag-label">
<$action-sendmessage $message="tm-delete-tiddler" tooltip="delete" 
class="tc-btn-invisible"/>
<$action-listops $tiddler="Today List" $field="list" 
$filter="[tag[today]!tag[exclude]!tag[done]sort[priority]]"/>
</span>
\end
\define justDelete()
<$button actions=<<myactions>>>{{$:/core/images/erase}}
</$button>
\end
<<justDelete>>


Your comments reset my tiddly-thinking, and that led to this other thread 
that also helped:
https://groups.google.com/forum/#!searchin/tiddlywiki/action$20sendmessage$20%22delete%22$20tiddler%7Csort:relevance/tiddlywiki/dDtYhMUQgFY/xITWKkZSAQAJ

I appreciate your diligent help here :)

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