Tuesday is Election Day. Here are some pointers to keep in mind when heading to the polls:
- If at all possible, vote before work. That way, you can make smug comments to non-voters all day long.
- The new electronic voting machines are complicated. But don't worry: Octogenarians will be on hand to troubleshoot any technological problems that might arise.
- You might think it's funny, but it's disrespectful to submit write-in candidates like "Don Knotts," "Mickey Mouse," or "Michael Badnarik."
- Tip for those on the go: Voting a straight ticket can save you up to 15 seconds.
- Remember that, as a member of a participatory democracy, you have a duty to make your voice heard on Election Day. If you find that idea hard to grasp, think of it like the lotto: You can't win if you don't play.
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