Christopher: Wonderful and nearly too true. Did you see the inside back of New Yorker a week or two ago (an application to emigrate to Canada)? DKH
David K. Hogberg, PhD Professor of Psychology, Emeritus Albion College, Albion MI 49224 [EMAIL PROTECTED] home phone: 517/629-4834 >>> [EMAIL PROTECTED] 11/29/04 7:58 PM >>> My gosh, Ken, it's been really astounding. Americans keep washing up on the shores of Lake Ontario! One even ignited spontaneously after a particularly oily swim. :-) -- Christopher D. Green Department of Psychology York University Toronto, Ontario, Canada M3J 1P3 e-mail: [EMAIL PROTECTED] phone: 416-736-5115 ext. 66164 fax: 416-736-5814 http://www.yorku.ca/christo/ ============================ . Ken Steele wrote: > > > -------- Original Message -------- > >> >> Canada busy sending back Bush-dodgers (Headline in the Columbus >> Dispatch on >> 11/16/04) >> >> The flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada >> has >> intensified in the past week, sparking calls for increased patrols to >> stop >> the illegal immigration. The re-election of President Bush is >> prompting the >> exodus among left-leaning citizens who fear they'll soon be required to >> hunt, pray and agree with Bill O'Reilly. Canadian border farmers say >> it's >> not uncommon to see dozens of sociology professors, animal-rights >> activists >> and Unitarians crossing their fields at night. >> >> "I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a Hollywood >> producer huddled in the barn," said Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield, >> whose >> acreage borders North Dakota. The producer was cold, exhausted and >> hungry. >> "He asked me if I could spare a latte and some free-range chicken. >> When I >> said I didn't have any, he left. Didn't even get a chance to show him my >> screenplay, eh?" >> >> In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higher >> fences, >> but the liberals scaled them. So he tried installing speakers that blare >> Rush Limbaugh across the fields. "Not real effective," he said. "The >> liberals still got through, and Rush annoyed the cows so much they >> wouldn't >> give milk." >> >> Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet >> liberals near >> the Canadian border, pack them into Volvo station wagons, drive them >> across >> the border and leave them to fend for themselves. >> >> "A lot of these people are not prepared for rugged conditions," an >> Ontario >> border patrolman said. "I found one carload without a drop of drinking >> water. They did have a nice little Napa Valley cabernet, though." >> >> When liberals are caught, they're sent back across the border, often >> wailing >> loudly that they fear retribution from conservatives. Rumors have been >> circulating about the Bush administration establishing re-education >> camps in >> which liberals will be forced to drink domestic beer and watch NASCAR. >> >> In the days since the election, liberals have turned to >> sometimes-ingenious >> ways of crossing the border. Some have taken to posing as senior >> citizens on >> bus trips to buy cheap Canadian prescription drugs. After catching a >> half-dozen young vegans disguised in powdered wigs, Canadian immigration >> authorities began stopping buses and quizzing the supposed >> senior-citizen >> passengers. "If they can't identify the accordion player on The Lawrence >> Welk Show, we get suspicious about their age," an official said. >> >> Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants are >> creating >> an organic-broccoli shortage and renting all the good Susan Sarandon >> movies. >> "I feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian economy just can't >> support them," an Ottawa resident said. "How many art-history majors >> does >> one country need?" >> >> In an effort to ease tensions between the United States and Canada, Vice >> President Dick Cheney met with the Canadian ambassador and pledged >> that the >> administration would take steps to reassure liberals, a source close to >> Cheney said. "We're going to have some Peter, Paul & Mary concerts. >> And we might put some endangered species on postage stamps. The >> president is >> determined to reach out." >> >> :) www.coconutharrys.com >> >> --- You are currently subscribed to tips as: [EMAIL PROTECTED] To unsubscribe send a blank email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] --- You are currently subscribed to tips as: [email protected] To unsubscribe send a blank email to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
