Paul Brandon wrote:

>and there's always the Ballad of Sigmund Freud ....

By coincidence someone sent me this last week:

The Complaint of the Wife of a Psychoanalyst 

I never get mad, I get hostile;
I never feel sad, I'm depressed;
If I sew or I knit, and enjoy it one bit,
I'm not handy, I'm merely obsessed.

I never regret, I feel guilty;
And if I should vacuum the hall,
Wash the woodwork and such, and not mind it too much,
Am I tidy? Compulsive, that's all.

If I can't choose a hat, I have conflicts,
With ambivalent feelings toward net,
I never get worried or nervous or hurried --
Anxiety, that's what I get.

If I'm happy I must be euphoric;
If I go the the Stork or the Ritz
And have a good time making puns or a rhyme, 
I'm manic, or maybe a schiz.

If I tell you you're right I'm submissive,
Repressing aggressiveness, too!
And when I disagree, I'm defensive, you see,
And projecting my symptoms on you.

I love you, but that's just transference,
With Electra rearing her head;
My breathing asthmatic is psychosomatic,
A fear of exclaiming, "Drop dead!"

I'm not lonely, I'm simply dependent;
My dog has no fleas, just a tic --
So if I act hateful, never mind -- just be grateful,
I'm not really a stinker -- I'm sick!

http://hiw.kuleuven.be/phorum/read.php?f=5&i=8&t=8

Allen E.

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