Well, it's only been a week into the new semester and I've heard the
bemoaning and
seen the smileless "if only" pouring out from some of my colleagues' mouths and
warping
their faces. That's sad. In fact, if you watched PBS' "Declining By Degrees,"
you'd see
that "if only" is probably the biggest problem we have on our campuses. Every
one of us
wants to be uplifted by being fulfilled and happy and yet so many of us allow
"if only" to
drag us down, and we take so many of the students with us.
Do you know how many of us academics live "if only", wishful, starved
for
happiness, "ah, me" lives on campus: "if only I was in a tenure track
position;" "if only
I had tenure;" "if only I get that promotion;" "if only I was paid more;" "if
only I get
that article published;: "if only I had that grant;" "if only there were better
students;"
" if only I could get a reduced load;" "if only I had more time;" "if only the
students
cared;" "if only I was at a better school;" "if only the students were
prepared;" "if only
we had more resources;" "if only the administration....;" "if only my
colleagues....;" "if
only the students....;" "if only the Board of Regents....;" "if only the
public....." If
only, if only, if only. We think all we need is an answered prayer or a
granted wish upon
a star; we delude ourselves into believing if only these yearned for "if only"
came true,
our dissatisfaction would be swept away by a flood of positive, productive,
nourishing,
soaring, and optimistic "I would...." and "I could...."
Ah, wouldn't that be wonderful. If we're honest with ourselves,
however, it
doesn't often happen that way, does it? So many of us are unhappy because we
so focus on
the things we don't have that we get a myopia which makes it hard for us to see
and enjoy
the things we do have. We feel short-changed, unappreciated, taken-for-granted,
unnoticed, used. Think about it. Do you feel peaceful and relaxed inside? Do
you get up
each morning with a purposeful and meaningful "yes" attitude towards the
classroom? Are
you filled with a sense of accomplishment and fulfillment at the end of the
teaching day?
The problem with living a mournful, resigned, grumpy, unappreciative,
dissatisfied
"if only" life is that it's always living a few steps behind happiness and
fulfillment and
meaning. That is, whatever and whenever an "if only" desire is fulfilled we
always find
more "if only" to wish for. Get a grant, you want another; get a salary
increase, you
need another; get what you call good students, you want better ones; publish an
article,
you feel you have to publish another. And, so on and on and on goes the
demanding and
depressing and distracting "rat race" so many of us have created for ourselves.
We put
ourselves in such a disappointing and frustrating and resigned position, that
we make it
painful, almost futile, to make the attempt to struggle against the current of
seemingly
overwhelming disappointment and negativity.
What makes this all sad, as Daniel Goleman discusses in his SOCIAL
INTELLIGENCE,
all this short-circuiting of happiness, all this discontentment, all this
disconnection
with ourselves and others, is contagious, especially since we're in positions
of classroom
authority. All this woeful modeling and living out "if only" not only subtly
or overtly
sadden us, whether we know it or now, whether we want to know it or not, it
sends out
signals that have a negative effect on the lives of everyone around us and puts
both the
joy of teaching and the joy of learning on the list of endangered species.
Make it a good day.
--Louis--
Louis Schmier
http://therandomthoughts.edublogs.org/
Department of
History http://www.newforums.com/Auth_L_Schmier.asp
Valdosta State University www. halcyon.com/arborhts/louis.html
Valdosta, Georgia 31698 /\ /\ /\ /\
(229-333-5947) /^\\/ \/ \ /\/\__/\ \/\
/ \/ \_ \/ / \/
/\/
\ /\
//\/\/ /\
\__/__/_/\_\ \_/__\
/\"If you want to climb
mountains,\ /\
_ / \ don't practice on mole
hills" -
---
To make changes to your subscription go to:
http://acsun.frostburg.edu/cgi-bin/lyris.pl?enter=tips&text_mode=0&lang=english
