When I was teaching in graduate school, a student approached me right
before class to explain he had not been in class the week before because
his grandmother had died.  I expressed sympathy for his loss and said I
certainly understood the situation because, in fact, I had not been
there the week before either because I was at MY grandmother's funeral
out of state (the truth).  I got a blank stare in response.  This same
student's father called me some weeks later to complain that I was being
"unreasonable" in not letting his son take a make-up exam when his son
had the mumps at the time of the exam.  Although I explained I was
unable to specifically discuss his son's performance in class due to
privacy issues, I let the father know that I did receive a note from his
son that he had the mumps and could not attend class.  However, that
note was dated three weeks prior to the test date in question.  I asked
in the nicest voice, "Do mumps last three weeks?"  A period of silence
followed.  I then expressed my sincere condolence to the father for the
loss of his parent.  A longer silence followed, with a very
uncomfortable "Well, I don't know anything about that!"  Needless to
say, junior didn't get a make-up exam, and his pattern of missing class
came to an abrupt end.

Shelley A. Theno
Assistant Professor of Psychology
University of Alaska Southeast
11120 Glacier Highway
Juneau, Alaska  99801-8671
(907) 465-6403
[EMAIL PROTECTED]

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