Zhengzhou, Wednesday morning, June 1. Diary, after celebrating National
Children's Day with a bunch of Chinese K-8 students I'm leaving for the States
to be with my Susan. I'm biting at the bit to be with her. I felt a heavy
weight lift from my shoulders and soul as soon as I changed my flights to head
home early I have to admit it has been a yin and yang experience in China this
year. On one hand, I am glad, maybe ecstatic, I am helping students expand
their world by entering another culture's world and realizing we different
peoples at our essence aren't really different and are all members of the same
world. On the other hand, I was not a happy camper that I was not at Susan's
side tending to her unexpectedly extended post-operative needs. But, you know,
diary, during my three day travel from Valdosta to Zhengzhou I realized
something: yearn as I might for better times, I was building a wall around me
insuring that nothing good was going to come in or go out. Yearning leads to
nothing more than more yearning, unhappiness leads only to additonal
unhappiness, regret begets only more regret. I ask you, diary, what time is
ever idyllic? When I look for things to complain or to be sad about, I’ll find
plenty; when I look for things to be joyful about, I’ll also find plenty. It's
just a matter of what kind of world do I want to live in: a weighty,
self-centered, and self-pitying world fraught with annoyance and frustration
and resignation and regret and sadness, or an uplifting caring and serving
world filled with opportunities for joy, fulfillment, and significance. My
attitude in every moment defines what I am seeking. And what I seek, is what I
find.
I can choose to find happiness now in any way and anywhere with
whomever I choose. Any reality in my life begins with on what I focus, and if
I use the power of my focus to focus on reasons to be happy, I will see those
reasons and be happy. I can see empty or fulfillment, poverty or richness,
where and when I am. It's always my choice. Instead of focusing solely on not
being with Susan, I can focus on having been here to help John, Dominique,
James, Rachel, Liz, Dylan, Casey, Ngoc, Leigh Anne, and Erin. What I'm trying
to say, diary, is that while life can be tough on me, I don’t have to be so
tough on myself; that while I can't hold back the winds, I can be a windmill
to harness the power of the wind and be electrifying; that while I can't stop
the sun from rising or setting, I can fill each day with a rich and significant
meaning. There's a lot I can't control, but there's a lot I can. I can
control whether I'll be anywhere other than in this "here and now;" whether
I'll live with care, with faith, with love, and with a positive purpose no
matter where I am and no matter what may come; whether I'll see and bring a
uniqueness and beauty to today; and, whether I'll do significant things and
make a difference.
But, diary, keep this in mind, as Helen Keller said, no pessimist or
sad sack ever discovered the secret of the stars, or sailed an uncharted land,
or opened a new doorway for the human spirit. Diary, to those who want to be
happy with life in general and with whatever they're doing with that life in
particular, I say there's nothing magical to it, and there's nothing saintly
about it: just work, live to serve others, and have an upbeat heart. Live as
if the entire world depends on you, act knowing that all that you think, all
that you do, and all that you are, truly matters, for it goes far beyond you
and makes the world what it is. It's called "caring," "relationship," or
"community."
You know, diary, it is said that when human beings are caring for each
other, angels are born. The clerics have always told us that. The
philosophers have always told us to connect with others. They both have always
told us that we are social beings, that service to others is the payment we
make to live in this world. It is the very purpose of life and everything we
do in life, not something we do in our charitable spare time. It's about your
life mattering to the world as well as to you. They quiet your mental chatter,
settle your emotional turbulence, and weaken your fears; they brighten your
mood; they instill joy; they open you up to new experiences; they expand each
of your moments; and, they give life extra-special meaning.
Is this "feel good" stuff? You're doggone right! And, we shouldn't
demean it, for now the latest neuroscience is telling us the same thing: we're
hardwired to connect, and to connect in a caring way. It's the philosophy,
religion, and hard neuroscience of a caring, connected, and serving
relationship. Caring and connection and service. In a primal way, they offer
comfort and safety and peace of mind--and happiness. They keep strong the
cycle of life. They keep your soul alive. They're about a transcendent
purpose that roots your life in something greater than yourself. They're about
cultivating generosity and gratitude. They are about waking up each morning
asking yourself what you can do significant today and looking for ways you can
help those in the world with you. They do magic to your face and wonder to
your eyes and amazement to your actions; they anchor your faith, stir your
love, and endow significance upon you. They make you beautiful. Where caring
and connection and service are, there are miracles.
Those miracles, however, come in incremental reflective, faithful,
hopeful, and loving steps on a demanding journey from who we are now to who we
want to become; they don't just fall into your lap unless you move your lap to
where they're falling. I say demanding because we evolve and look at ourselves
as we help others evolve, and the process of facing such scary unknowns needs
all the love and empathy, all the tenderness and watchfulness, all the strength
and courage, all the sympathy and support and encouragement we can muster.
And, if we think it's not in the doing it, if we think we don't have to roll up
our sleeves, we'll remain little more than wasteful dreamy Jiminy Cricket
wishers upon a star. I say reflective and faithful because we have to ask
ourselves four questions. First, what do we want from whatever we do, which in
my case is teaching; second, what is the purpose of it all; third, are we happy
at what we're doing; and finally, how can we be either happy or happier. I say
hopeful because now is not all there is, that there is always more to come,
that there are always steps to be taken, and that when we take that step, there
will be something better beyond And, I say loving because, as Confucius said,
"Always and in everything let there be reverence." That is, diary, you have to
abide by the Golden Rule, respect and care for yourself in order to have the
energy and strength to respect and care for others, and understand that
berating yourself or anyone is like defacing a sacred page of scripture with
graffiti . Gotta finish packing and getting ready to see my angel.
Make it a good day
-Louis-
Louis Schmier
http://www.therandomthoughts.edublogs.org
Department of History http://www.therandomthoughts.com
Valdosta State University
Valdosta, Georgia 31698 /\ /\ /\ /\
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mountains,\ /\
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hills" - / \_
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