Well, yesterday morning I heard that dreaded three word "it" again.
This time I heard "it" on the back three miles of my six mile route. Power
walking at about a 13 1/2 minute mile clip, a jogging VSU footballer came up on
me and in the course of a short panting conversation said "it," "You're doing
real good for your age." I silently smiled.
"For your age?" What does that mean? It doesn't matter whether we're
talking about labels about gender, race, religion, ethnicity, special needs,
nationality, sexuality, cultural style, "student," "faculty," "administrator,"
or whatever. It means others around whom we live have a perspective and
expectation about who we are, an image of who they expect us to be, a role
they've written for us to play. It means, as e.e. cummings said, everyday
we're dealing with those people who are want to make us into the people they
want us to be. And, those expressed assumptions, that erode authenticity,
strip away individuality, can have an impact not only on how we're treated by
those others, but also on what we believe about ourselves and how we treat
ourselves. Those assumptions can worm their way into our consciousness about
who we think we are, what we think we're capable of, what we deserve, what
expectations we rise to, how we feel, and what we do.
"For your age?" Far more often than not, those perceptions, labels,
stereotypes, expectations, and generalizations others have of us are
dehumanizing, impersonal, denigrating, and discriminatory. At least, they were
in my life until I was fifty. It’s was only when I challenged them, as I did
when I had that epiphany in 1991, that I asserted myself. That epiphany was
partly a discovery that if I could advocate for myself, I would see that the
stories others have about me aren't true. I learned that if I could muster the
strength to disavow them, I would exhume the buried courage to risk getting to
know myself. Trust me, to learn who you can become it’s not always easy, and
certainly not without its risks. It's scary to get to know who you are
underneath the hitherto accepted expectations in which others have wrapped you.
It's like forsaking a long-time and trusted friend and embracing a stranger
about whom you know nothing. It's like leaving the safety and comfort of what
you had convinced yourself was home only to find that it was not and to come to
the unfamiliar surroundings of a place in your heart and soul that genuinely
feels like home.
"For your age?" It was Rumi who said, "Let the beauty of what you
love, be what you do." So many of us look out or up, but rarely in. I
realized, however, that I had to go on a pilgrimage to the most sacred of all
places: me. I discovered that I had to stop wishing and be the wish; I had to
stop praying for and start living the prayer; I had to separate my dreams from
limiting generalizations, fears, stereotypes, demands, biases, and prejudices
And, as I successfully stepped outside the roles others had written for me, I
could discover unlimited faith in, hope for, and love of myself. I discovered
that if I could rewrite the misconceiving script, I could be a better person.
I also discovered that if I could stop "being against" and "be for," I would be
unbelievably empowered. And, far more important, I saw that if I could mentor
myself, I could use that empowerment to help others to help themselves likewise
find the courage and strength to take a similar risk.
"For your age?" Our life stories, however, are not set in the stone
tablets others have chiseled for us. Those stories others have scripted out
for us, which we too often accept as gospel, aren't accurate for they
exaggerate one or more areas of our lives, deflate others, and ignore or are
ignorant of still others. In reality, we are always more than flattened,
impersonal images, and are forever writing additional chapters to our story.
The only question is according to what themes, those laid out by others or
different ones laid out by us. Let me tell you something, it is
amazing--amazing--what you can accomplish when you stop submissively answering
and begin independently questioning; when you stop groveling and obeying, stand
tall and erect. When you divorce yourself from the marriage to whom others
tell you to be. You know what happens? You live revelation after revelation
after revelation. You're constantly entering new world after new world after
never world you never dreamed existed. You're using a vocabulary you never
knew. And, in the process, the present you becomes a different self. And,
maybe, just maybe, as in my case, choices rise to and transform into a destined
calling.
"For your age?" What did C.S. Lewis say? "There are far, far better
things ahead than any we leave behind." Oh, how right he was. When I wake
up, it seems as if the whole day is stretching in front of me like an enormous
meadow filled with beautiful wild flowers. The only retiring I do is when I
hit the sack each night. Each day, I do myself a "flavor." I taste life. So
many of us make the mistake of looking out and wishing, or looking up and
praying, when we should be seeing in. You see, you can't be bold if you feel
old. You can't swing if you idly sway in a hammock. You can't rock by merely
lazily rocking in a rocking chair.
"For your age?" So, while I may be getting older, I refuse to get old.
My intent is to remain an "experienced teenager." if not in body, certainly
more important in spirit. My purpose is to live with a distinct voice, to love
and to experience the miracle of life, to be open to newness, to
enthusiastically greet every moment, to embrace selfless faith, hope, and
love, and to be a living expression of joy. The bottom line on all this is:
since my epiphany in 1991, that is how I lived and taught; that is how I now
still live; and how I'm going to do my damnedest to continue to live. And,
if I do have to age, I'll do it later.
"For your age?" Give me a break!
Make it a good day
-Louis-
Louis Schmier
http://www.therandomthoughts.edublogs.org
203 E. Brookwood Pl http://www.therandomthoughts.com
Valdosta, Ga 31602
(C) 229-630-0821 /\ /\ /\ /\
/\
/^\\/ \/ \ /\/\__
/ \ / \
/ \/ \_ \/ / \/
/\/ / \ /\ \
//\/\/ /\ \__/__/_/\_\/
\_/__\ \
/\"If you want to climb
mountains,\ /\
_ / \ don't practice on mole
hills" - / \_
---
You are currently subscribed to tips as: [email protected].
To unsubscribe click here:
http://fsulist.frostburg.edu/u?id=13090.68da6e6e5325aa33287ff385b70df5d5&n=T&l=tips&o=46444
or send a blank email to
leave-46444-13090.68da6e6e5325aa33287ff385b70df...@fsulist.frostburg.edu
