> > Dear All Employees, > > > > In order to assure the highest levels of quality > > work and productivity from employees, it will be our > > policy to keep all employees well trained through our > > program of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (S.H.I.T.). > > We are trying to give our employees more S.H.I.T. > > than anyone else. > > > > If you feel that you do not receive your share of > > S.H.I.T. on the job, please see your manager. You > > will be immediately placed at the top of the S.H.I.T. > > list, and our managers are especially skilled at > > seeing that you get all the S.H.I.T. you can handle. > > > > Employees who don't take their S.H.I.T. will be > > placed in DEPARTMENTAL EMPLOYEE EVALUATION PROGRAMS > > (D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T.). Those who fail to take D.E.E.P. > > S.H.I.T. seriously will have to go to EMPLOYEE > > ATTITUDE TRAINING (E.A.T. S.H.I.T.). Since our > > managers took S.H.I.T. before they were promoted, they > > don't have to do S.H.I.T. anymore, because they are > > all full of S.H.I.T. already. > > > > If you are full of S.H.I.T., you may be interested in > > a job training others. We can add your name to our > > BASIC UNDERSTANDING LECTURE LIST ( B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T.). > > > > Those who are full of B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T. will get the > > S.H.I.T. jobs, and shall apply for promotion to > > DIRECTOR OF INTENSITY PROGRAMMING (D.I.P.S.H.I.T.). > > > > If you have further questions, please direct them to > > our HEAD OF TRAINING, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING > > (H.O.T. S.H.I.T.). > > > > Thank you, > > > > BOSS IN GENERAL (B.I.G. S.H.I.T.)
