> The handshake state machine has been significantly restructured to
      be more consistent and to remove superfluous messages such as
      ChangeCipherSpec.

No longer true, at least for CCS.

>      connection.  Unfortunately, some middleboxes fail when presented
      with new values.  In TLS 1.3, the TLS server indicates its version

I suggest replacing “middleboxes fail” with “intermediaries block the 
connection”

>   For backward compatibility reasons with middleboxes (see

Replace “middlebox” with “intermediary”.  This appears a couple of other times, 
and I suggest doing that replacement everywhere except in Appendix D where we 
say something like

“Network intermediaries, along the path between the two communicating 
endpoints, typically called intermediaries, have been shown to interfere …”

I also think that all of the changes described earlier (such as the ones quoted 
above, but there are others) should be summarized in Appendix D.

I am willing to do a PR for this, but not sure what to do about the first point 
I raised above.

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