Thanks for the review.  I will address these comments promptly, but it might 
not be until next week.

Russ


> On Mar 25, 2019, at 5:08 PM, Yoav Nir <[email protected]> wrote:
> 
> Hi.
> 
> I’ve read this draft. For the most part it seems fine, but I have a few 
> editorial nits:
> 
> 
> Abstract:
> I realize that all of section 3 is dedicated to motivation, but there really 
> needs to be something in the abstract. Otherwise, I’m reading “authenticate 
> with a combination of a certificate and an external pre-shared key” and 
> wondering why you would want to use a certificate at all if you’ve managed to 
> get a PSK between the client and the server.  It needs at least something 
> like “... in order to facilitate post-quantum forward secrecy.” at the end.
> 
> 
> Section 1 (Introduction):
> The Introduction contains the following text: "The TLS 1.3 ... provides two 
> mutually exclusive forms of server authentication... Second, the server can 
> be authenticated by demonstrating that it possesses a pre-shared key (PSK) 
> that was established by a previous handshake.”
> This flatly says that all PSKs in TLS 1.3 are established by a previous 
> handshake, and that is not true. The very next sentence calls these 
> “resumption PSKs” and describes other PSKs called “external PSKs”.  So these 
> external PSKs are part of TLS 1.3, so the above sentence is incorrect.
> 
> 
> Section 3 (Motivation and Design Rationale):
> The section describes the threat to forward secrecy of a future large-scale 
> quantum computer.  Then the third paragraph says this:
> "In the near-term, this document describes [a] TLS 1.3 extension to protect 
> today's communications from the future invention of a large-scale quantum 
> computer by providing a strong external PSK as an input to the TLS 1.3 key 
> schedule while preserving the authentication provided by the existing 
> certificate and digital signature mechanisms.”
> 
> It is not obvious to me that adding an external PSK to the TLS 1.3 key 
> schedule protects against a large-scale quantum computer.  The IPsecME draft 
> specifying the same thing ( 
> https://tools.ietf.org/html/draft-ietf-ipsecme-qr-ikev2 
> <https://tools.ietf.org/html/draft-ietf-ipsecme-qr-ikev2> ) has such 
> rationale in the Introduction, in the Security Considerations section, and in 
> Appendix A. I think this document needs some similar text as well.
> 
> 
> Section 5 (Certificate with External PSK Extension):
> There’s a lot of stuff repeated here from RFC 8446: 
> The extensions structure, including its fields
> The rules for a server responding with an extension (only if the ClientHello 
> contained it)
> The rules for a repeated ClientHello following a HelloRetryRequest
> The PreSharedKeyExtension from RFC 8446.
> The rules for handling an extension that appears in the wrong message.
> I don’t believe repeating this information adds clarity.
> 
> 
> Section 7 (Security Considerations):
> The fifth paragraph says the following:
>    Implementations must choose external PSKs with a secure key
>    management technique, such as pseudo-random generation of the key or
>    derivation of the key from one or more other secure keys.  The use of
>    inadequate pseudo-random number generators (PRNGs) to generate
>    external PSKs can result in little or no security.  An attacker may
>    find it much easier to reproduce the PRNG environment that produced
>    the external PSKs and searching the resulting small set of
>    possibilities, rather than brute force searching the whole key space.
>    The generation of quality random numbers is difficult.  [RFC4086]
>    offers important guidance in this area.
> That’s fine, but I’m missing the required length of such a PSK.  I believe 
> the text should say “at least 256 randomly-generated bits”
> 
> Yoav
> 
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