Great! I'll push it on over and continue reviewing.

> On Feb 14, 2020, at 11:36 AM, Nick Sullivan 
> <[email protected]> wrote:
> 
> Carrick,
> 
> Thank you for reading the document and identifying an embarrassingly 
> difficult to parse motivating paragraph (with an annoying unclosed 
> parenthesis to boot). You've correctly identified the meaning it was trying 
> to convey and we'll happily review this as a PR here: 
> https://github.com/tlswg/tls-subcerts/ 
> <https://github.com/tlswg/tls-subcerts/>. I've noticed a few other 
> readability issues in the document, if you find anything else, we'll happily 
> look at those too.
> 
> Nick
> 
> On Thu, Feb 13, 2020 at 3:46 PM Carrick Bartle 
> <[email protected] <mailto:[email protected]>> 
> wrote:
> TL;DR: I find it difficult to understand the second-to-last paragraph of the 
> Introduction, so I took a stab at revising it. Let me know if I should put it 
> in a pull request.
> 
> 
> This is the paragraph I'm referring to:
> 
> "These dependencies cause problems in practice. Server operators often want 
> to create short-lived certificates for servers in low- trust zones such as 
> Content Delivery Network (CDNs) or remote data centers. This allows server 
> operators to limit the exposure of keys in cases that they do not realize a 
> compromise has occurred. The risk inherent in cross-organizational 
> transactions makes it operationally infeasible to rely on an external CA for 
> such short- lived credentials. In Online Certificate Status Protocol (OCSP) 
> stapling (i.e., using the Certificate Status extension type ocsp [RFC8446], 
> if an operator chooses to talk frequently to the CA to obtain stapled 
> responses, then failure to fetch an OCSP stapled response results only in 
> degraded performance. On the other hand, failure to fetch a potentially large 
> number of short lived certificates would result in the service not being 
> available, which creates greater operational risk."
> 
> Here are my issues with it:
> 
> - I think OCSP is being brought up here as an example of a way that 
> dependence on a CA can go wrong, but that isn't really made explicit.
> 
> - I'm not sure what "only" means in "only in degraded performance." Is it 
> "the worst that can happen is just degraded performance" or "it can result 
> only in degraded performance, as opposed to better performance"? At first I 
> thought it was the latter, but after reading the subsequent sentence, I 
> realized it was probably the former.
> 
> - The use of "On the other hand" sounds like the rest of the sentence is 
> going to describe a way that failure to receive something from a CA resulted 
> in better performance, which obviously would be silly.
> 
> Taking all these points together, here's my suggestion for a revision to make 
> what I think the thrust of the paragraph is more clear:
> 
> "These dependencies cause problems in practice. Server operators often want 
> to create short-lived certificates for servers in low-trust zones such as 
> Content Delivery Network (CDNs) or remote data centers. This allows server 
> operators to limit the exposure of keys in cases where they do not realize a 
> compromise has occurred. But the risk inherent in cross-organizational 
> transactions makes it operationally infeasible to rely on an external CA for 
> such short-lived credentials. For instance, in the case of Online Certificate 
> Status Protocol (OCSP) stapling (i.e., using the Certificate Status extension 
> type ocsp [RFC8446]), a CA may fail to deliver OCSP stapled response. While 
> this will result in degraded performance, the ramifications of failing to 
> deliver short-lived certificates is even worse: the service that depends on 
> those certificates would go down entirely. Thus, ensuring independence from 
> CAs for short-lived certificates is critical to the uptime of a service."
> 
> 
> Carrick
> 
> 
> 
> > On Feb 5, 2020, at 12:36 PM, [email protected] 
> > <mailto:[email protected]> wrote:
> > 
> > 
> > A New Internet-Draft is available from the on-line Internet-Drafts 
> > directories.
> > This draft is a work item of the Transport Layer Security WG of the IETF.
> > 
> >        Title           : Delegated Credentials for TLS
> >        Authors         : Richard Barnes
> >                          Subodh Iyengar
> >                          Nick Sullivan
> >                          Eric Rescorla
> >       Filename        : draft-ietf-tls-subcerts-06.txt
> >       Pages           : 15
> >       Date            : 2020-02-05
> > 
> > Abstract:
> >   The organizational separation between the operator of a TLS endpoint
> >   and the certification authority can create limitations.  For example,
> >   the lifetime of certificates, how they may be used, and the
> >   algorithms they support are ultimately determined by the
> >   certification authority.  This document describes a mechanism by
> >   which operators may delegate their own credentials for use in TLS,
> >   without breaking compatibility with peers that do not support this
> >   specification.
> > 
> > 
> > The IETF datatracker status page for this draft is:
> > https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/draft-ietf-tls-subcerts/ 
> > <https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/draft-ietf-tls-subcerts/>
> > 
> > There are also htmlized versions available at:
> > https://tools.ietf.org/html/draft-ietf-tls-subcerts-06 
> > <https://tools.ietf.org/html/draft-ietf-tls-subcerts-06>
> > https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/html/draft-ietf-tls-subcerts-06 
> > <https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/html/draft-ietf-tls-subcerts-06>
> > 
> > A diff from the previous version is available at:
> > https://www.ietf.org/rfcdiff?url2=draft-ietf-tls-subcerts-06 
> > <https://www.ietf.org/rfcdiff?url2=draft-ietf-tls-subcerts-06>
> > 
> > 
> > Please note that it may take a couple of minutes from the time of submission
> > until the htmlized version and diff are available at tools.ietf.org 
> > <http://tools.ietf.org/>.
> > 
> > Internet-Drafts are also available by anonymous FTP at:
> > ftp://ftp.ietf.org/internet-drafts/ <ftp://ftp.ietf.org/internet-drafts/>
> > 
> > _______________________________________________
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> > <https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/tls>
> 
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