Wow Barbara, thanks incredible! It makes me want to think about how that can 
apply to so many other situations too. I wonder how often we can be like that 
lady towards other situation like homeless people, someone fighting other types 
of illness or simply someone of a different background, believe, or thinking 
perspective -- even the hard to get along types that we'd just not rather deal 
with. I guess I'm using "we" rather than I - but I'm just thinking outloud - or 
on paper. 

I had simular experiences except I've been very lucky! I'm now walking and 
getting around - and outside of pain and sometimes triping, stumbling or having 
coordination problems, I feel fit as a fiddle.
 
However, I DO remember right before the MS / TM hit that a lot of symptoms were 
showing up. My boss and others at the school that I thought would point them 
out in front of a crowd of people - like during factulty meetings. I was even 
called in the office and repremanded because i was studdering, forgetting 
names, "pausing in the middle of sentences" and doing other "unacceptable" ... 
"unprofessional" things. I was even told "at your age and with your experience, 
you should know better by this time."
 
At my next job, the guy would car pooled with me would get irritated about how 
long it took me to get out of my car, how long it took me to amber to his 
vehicle, and then again - getting into the car. "Come on Rankin, we don't have 
all day!" Then he would preach about me to work about how I reallyed "needed to 
do something about" my walking gate and how that stuff like that will hurt my 
teaching in front of kids and principals. It DIDN'T in front of the kids. They 
were sympothic for the most part. But my boss, felt VERY uneasy and 
uncomfortable and once even implied that I might be "trying to get attention."
 
In my second year after the TM diagnose, I started having colon problems. A 
month later i could no longer pee on my own and got very very sick. At a 
DOCTOR'S office, I felt scrutiny because the neither the nurse nor the doctor 
could figure out, as they put it "how a man my age could have a serious urinary 
tract infection." They hunted for STDs and went that route but found NOTHING. 
Nevertheless, i could FEEL how they changed towards me after they begin to 
suspect STD. I could see the wheels in their eyes turning ... single ... young 
male ... UTI .... oh, I bet he is one of those. They gave me meds and when the 
meds ran out - I got sick again but this time I went to a specialist who took 5 
seconds to conclude that it was neurological. So even at the doctor's office 
you can experience that - sad to say.
 
When I went back to work, after the next hospitalization, I had to explain to 
my boss that I had to self-catherize myself. It was a horrible experience for 
me in multiple ways. He stopped me and said that he didn't want to know any 
more and then he started looking for ways to get rid of me. 
 
I had to stay in my room with kids and then if I had to go to the bathroom, I 
would have to call to get someone to watch me. They just wouldn't get the point 
about the situation. The principal just expected it to go away and if it 
wouldn't - they wanted me to go away. They got tired of me having to run to the 
bathroom every half hour. Once, I tried to wait and suddenly I realized that I 
was peeing on myself so I never did that again. The kids noticed too but they 
knew what was going on and didn't make a fuss about it which suprised me.
 
So yes I bet every single TM'r MS'r and all the other neurological problems, 
diabetics ect. have simular stories.
 
Now that I am doing well, hopefully not just for the moment, I am trying to 
make a point at apply good threatment to every person that I meet because I 
don't know their situation but I remember what mine was and know what some 
others deal with.

--- On Sat, 7/5/08, [EMAIL PROTECTED] <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:

From: [EMAIL PROTECTED] <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
Subject: Re: [TMIC] Three-Year Mark
To: [EMAIL PROTECTED], [email protected]
Date: Saturday, July 5, 2008, 5:38 AM



Hello Naomi,
 
Believe me, this subject of lack of support and loss of family and friends has 
come up on TMIC many times.  For some it has been suggested that it is a lack 
of understanding that our bodies may be different but the rest of us really 
isn't.  Some look pretty normal and people don't believe that they really have 
issues to deal with.  
 
Others just can't accept that have a disability and cannot cope with it.  I 
lost what I thought was a fairly good friend who just couldn't stand to be 
around me once I got TM and was wheelchair bound.  She was so uncomfortable.  
It's not like I/we called everyone we knew and told them about my TM so she 
didn't know.  When we saw her in a mall and I was  in the wheelchair she 
thought that it was due to me being overweight.  Well, I wasn't that overweight 
but I had trouble with my back prior tp this.  When I told her what had 
happened, she couldn't get away fast enough.  She never called to see how I was 
or anything.  We saw her again in the mall and the same thing happened.  So, I 
just blamed it on her ignorance, as she was a very vain person and perhaps 
cannot deal with people who aren't perfect.  Her loss cause I'm fabulous!  
 
Hang in there, you are very fortunate to have a husband and mother to be there 
for you now.  There are many who are alone without even that support. 
 
Hugs, Barbara A
 
 
 
 
 





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