Richard, So glad that you finally spoke up!! You make an especially important point concerning your 'caretaker' wife.......too frequently we don't see how much extra work we bring onto them...and how rarely we say thank you to them. 'course, you have great reason to become self centered, so to speak, because your life as you've known it has been totally lost and you're spending alot of 'me' time..trying to understand what's happened and how you're going to live in this new state!! I don't speak up very often anymore........in the beginning I was so thrilled to find others who KNEW what was going on with me that I did lots of writng, but now I do more lurking unless someone says something that really clicks with me, as your comments about your wife having to change her life for you and how we don't think to thank them for taking our new life as their own!! While I'm talking I'll say alittle about my prior occupation........in 1990 after 30 years teaching elementary school, I took full retirement at age 51....we had moved to my hubby's childhood home after his parent's demise and I really got into gardening and mowing the farm until April 1996 when I was struck with tm......I was paralyzed at t8, breast down. After 11 days in hospital and skilled nursing unit, I came home to home care, relearning to walk, etc. I have residuals that don't allow me to be employable........I'm one of the walking wounded with enough balance problems that I use walker at times and cane when I go out alone.....and so forth and so on.....life goes on, I thank God each day for those around me who make my life fun to be alive!! janh Stillwater. OK
--- On Sat, 6/6/09, Richard Hudson <[email protected]> wrote: Janice, this is the FIRST time I have responded on this list. I have had TM since October 3rd 1988 (almost 21years) Since 1983 I have been employed in the financial services industry with the same company. I am a Certified Financial Planner. I help folks invest their money. I work eight hours a day five days a week. I have told my wife of 34 years that of all the functions I have lost ( sensation,walking,bladder,bowel,sexual etc. ) I would give anything to have normal BOWEL function and to not deal with FATIGUE!!! I also have a PAIN issue I call FIRE BOTTOM which I think contributes to my fatigue. When I was paralyzed at age thirty-six I spent 2 1/2 months in the hospital. I seriously considered suicide. People that know me as a FUN-LOVING GUY would never believe I would think of that as an answer. Well I did but I CHOSE to LIVE and almost twenty-one years later I am GLAD of that decision. My wife and I have raised our only child, a son, who was two and a half years old at the time. We had planned to have a second child but TM took away that option. As we know this is an EXTREMELY difficult disease to deal with and a HUGE LIFE- CHANGER. When I was going through this I failed to realize the impact on the Care-Giver(My Wife). I did not treat her well! I was focused only on my issues. Looking back over these past twenty-one years there have been some EXTREMELY TOUGH TIMES but also some GREAT TIMES! I thank GOD daily that my wife CHOSE to stay with her husband which required TREMENDOUS change on her part .I remember in rehab the statistics on spouses sticking around after a spinal injury or illness and the statistics were not favorable. My room-mates wife divorced him while he was going through rehab. My wife may not agree but I believe WE are closer now than before the illness. This might sound corny but if the Lord allows me to see the SUNRISE today I will do the BEST I CAN TODAY. MOST DAYS I FAIL miserably but I tell myself I will try to do better tomorrow. I admire ALL of us in this group who FIGHT DAILY and DO NOT GIVE UP! Janice, after my LONG-WINDED reply I bet you are SORRY you asked the question. I am glad you did. TAKE CARE!!! On Jun 5, 2009, at 12:22 PM, Janice wrote: Hi Guys! I have been curious about something for a while and since things have kind of slowed down, want to ask you all what you did before TM hit and if you were able to go back to it or if you are doing something new. I am including even those who just read these emails and don't usually respond. I would like to hear from everybody and would think all of us would be interested. I will start: I was a school nurse's secretary/assistant in a large high school for 19 years. I absolutely loved it - everyday was different, as you can imagine working with high schoolers! Our school nurse was gone a lot to other schools we were responsible for, so I was left alone quite a bit and handled many different situations. I was well trained for this and it was great. Janice
