Hey Jeron! I knew you would love it!!! I didn't want to tell you my water experience, but if the water is the right temperature (temperature bothers me a lot!!!) I can float, kick, whatever and my body feels like TM never happened!! I get claustrophobic now, even snorkeling, which is strange, but it is worth it, so worth it. I am glad that you are doing what you need to do for you. It was one of the first things that a gentleman by the name of "Doc" kept telling me. I tried and tried to be what I was before and to be the caregiver for my family, as before TM. After I realized that I had to do what was right for the new me, life began to get so much better for me. Is this life easy with TM and all the other crap that comes along with it, no it isn't, but who ever said life was easy. If I didn't have TM, I may have something else that I couldn't cope with as well. Just be you and do the best you can for you at any moment. Some moments that won't be what you want, but in reality it is all any of us can do, able bodied or not. We all have to accept our limitations, but we can find ways around them. I cannot rock climb any more, but I can sip champagne on a condole, and that is OK with me these days. Good luck and congrats on the great day! Not all pain is bad and even able bodied people have pain when they push themselves, it is called "good" pain! Lori
From: j ra Sent: Friday, May 21, 2010 5:23 PM To: Transverse Myelytis Subject: RE: [TMIC] alive Hey everybody, When I started this post, I sure as hell wasn't expecting the can of worms that I opened up! I got what you all said about me being selfish and trying to go it alone....pushing my wife away and all that. When I came to the Caribbean it was for two reasons. 1. I needed to learn to deal with this thing of ours called TM, but away from everyone who knows me. I did this because I wanted to see myself in the mirror again and not the person that everyone feels sorry for because I have TM. So I moved here for a litttle while just to get some "me" time. I am not pushing my loved ones away, like most of you thought. Truth be told, my wife fully understands why I wanted to be alone. 2. I am trying to relive my past. I am trying to push myself to do the things I loved to do even though I have TM. I know there is no way anyone of my loved ones are approving of this and are all worried about me going off into the deep blue sea or jumping out of a plane like I used to, so it's better if I do it when they can't see me do it and all be worried. So today was my first dive in years and for the first time since I had TM, I forgot all about it. My legs didn't hurt, my back was like brand new and it was amazing. Of course I got a little help from a 6 knot current to do most of the work under water for me (it's called a drift dive), but it was amazing. I did it! Adrenaline pumped through me for 32 amazing minutes and I felt alive again. I'm in all craploads of pain right now, but it was so worth it. Next stop, zip-lining in St. Lucia and Sky diving in Martinique. I know I'm in for some serious pain, but I think I'm slowly remembering the good days. My goal is to remember those days and replace the bad days. I called my wife and told her I loved her and she said she was proud of me for taking the step to regaining some control of my life. So, now.....It feels great to be in pain....this time it was worth it. Thanks everyone for all the emails and all the support. I love you guys very much....you are my family! Jeron -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hotmail: Trusted email with Microsoft’s powerful SPAM protection. Sign up now.
